What to do - depressed best friend

[Max1]

My best friend has been really depressed recently. He is bi-polar and is on medicine. But he only actually talks to the doctor every three months. He talks to another doctor for an hour one every three weeks. I don't think that once every three weeks is good enough. He doesn't respond when you talk to him, even about normal things. He sleeps all day too. He also gets disgusted by everything anyone says to him. It doesn't even have to be about his depression it can be about the weather outside, anything, and he flips out. I talked to his mom and she made him an appointment two weeks in advance so that he could get off from work and he never did.

 

I feel like he is trying to make everyone else as upset as he is. I know that that may not be the case but it does feel like it. It's gotten to the point where if he doesn't get help that I don't know if I can continue this friendship on the same level it is now. I really want him to get help but he doesn't think that he needs it. And even when he does go to talk to someone he just says that everything is okay. And the doctor believes him. I would love to talk to his doctor but i don't know if I would be okay to do. He told me the other day that he feels like if everyone where robots they would be doing what they were built to do. and he would just be walking back and forth into a wall feeling that thats what he is supposed to do.

 

It is very hard trying to deal with this. No one else seems to notice but me. And I actually am sick of dealing with it. I feel it's somewhat abusive to me. I was just wondering what anyone else might do in this situation. I don't want to make a choice that will hurt him further but I don't want to feel that he is trying to drag me down with him. I need to do something so that i also don't feel like his caretaker or mother anymore. thanks for your help!

[Aura Seeker]

I have a friend that suffers the same problem. What happens is they get ammuned to the mixture they are given, and it sounds like your friend is getting the wrong dose of something.

 

they never want help. The only time anything ever gets solved for my friend is when he ends up on the physc ward. Then they take a look at what the problem is.

 

You can not be responsible. It is up to this persons parents or himself to realize there is a problem and the meds he's on now isn't working.

 

Just my opinion.

 

A

[Max1]

Thank you so much for your opinion. I know that it may be a problem with the meds but i also think that it is better to be on meds and to talk to someone at the same time. Did your friend ever do that? I'm just wondering if that may be part of the problem also.

 

thank you so much for your opinion. It helps more than you know!

[Lexxi300]

Hi- My ex who has depression just broke up with me a week ago. I can understand when you say your friend gets mad at everything and you happen to be the only one who he tells or takes it out on. I have been through the same thing. I too have gone to his parents, sister & best friend 3 months ago just to ask them what is going on - they had no clue that he was dealing with depression...It was only me. He always wants to stay by himself, hates rainy days and very to himself. He had become very selfish, meaning he did all the things he likes, golf, friends, gambling etc. but always seemed unhappy to me. He said he can turn his friends on and off, the golf & gambling and hanging in his room- he took his mind off things...But with me he had to try to make it work which they have problems with.

 

I suggested to him to go see another therapist a couple months ago - which he did. (He is going to see a therapist once a week) The old therapist happen to be over medicating him. So the new therapist started lowering his dosage and he started coming around. But he still has a long way to go. You may want to suggest to your friend to switch therapist and see what another one see in him.

 

Since last Thursday - You can read my post "My boyfriend left me..." to get a better handle on my story.

 

I give you alot of credit of being there for your friend - cause I too have done the same thing. But it is only them who wants to fight this disease - Just let him know you are there for him, that is all you can do. Just take care of yourself too in the meantime cause you dont want him bringing you down too - like my ex did to me.

 

He is lucky to have a good friend like you -

[Aura Seeker]

Hi there,

 

For sure most of the problem is tied right into the sickeness. They don't want to go talk to anyone. Seems to be a very black space they live in, and to them what is talking going to do!

 

It's sad, because there doesn't really seem to be enough meds that help. The quality of live is still very unmanageable.

 

I seen this show once, and it was about Margott Kidder (spelling) and she was on a very different treatment and said that she never had to take meds again, and that she was VERY happy with how her life was now. Plug her name in the web. Maybe it will come up. Oddly enough, it was a drugless treatment. She said looking back the drugs made it worse. I believe that, because in my opinion.....they don't work or help the people out of hell.

 

I know your friend is a pain in the butt. Mine has been for close to 30 years now, but it is just my opinion again that we need to stick by those that can't see the light. We are the light. It's very hard for them to keep or make friends.

 

People always celebrate birthdays. Everyone does that.....gets born. No big thing. It's how we live and where we are at when we die that's important. It's hard to do the right thing a lot of times, but please.....stick with your friend. It sounds like you are, and that makes you have a lot of character not to run when it is rough. ;-)

 

PS. If your spider senses go off that he is getting dangerous.....THEN get out! lol

 

A