Is it me, or is most of us breaking up right after or right before two years?

[Jordan5571]

Is it me, or is most of us breaking up right after or right before two years?

 

If it is not me, is this normal for the past? OR, is there somthing going on astrological?

[melrich]

Yeah I reckon there is something to that. I am always amazed how many relationships last 2 years. For long term relationships I'm always amazed how many break up after 7 years.

 

2 years you can probably put some explanations around but I have never worked out the 7 year thing.

[crvers]

Yep, 2 years means this investment should be leading somewhere I think. If not, its time to abandon it . If it is, then its time to take an additional step forward...

 

Yeah, I noticed alot of people of this forum are around a 2 year mark breakup...or 6 months. Either way, I found myself re-evaluating the relationship at 2 years...its a good point to know around then whether you'd be willing to marry this person or not.

[melrich]

2 years means this investment should be leading somewhere I think. If not, its time to abandon it .

 

I think that is spot on. 2 years slips by pretty quickly. The honeymoon phase takes up about a year, then you get into relationship routine and once you it starts to dawn on you that that is where you are you start to think "well is this the person I want to spend my life with?" if "no" then it usually takes few months to prepare yourself to break up and by about now you are at around 2 years.

[RayKay]

I think there is something for it, because around then you get a better idea of how you two really are together (once the honeymoon endorphins have faded) and tend to also have seen each other through some crisis' or how they respond to stressful situations, how they are with family, their values, and everything that is not always readily apparent. It is when you also really can evalaute one anothers commitment through it all, and how you communicate and resolve differences.

 

But you also tend to pay attention to circumstances similar. You will note many breakups at three months, or 6 months, or 5 years, and so on as well, if you are really looking for it.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Mine is right before 2 years.

[flooglebinder]

On the 7 year thing, I read somewhere that it takes 7 years for your body to regenerate all its cells - so scientifically speaking after 7 years you are a different person! Off the wall but I thought I'd throw it in!

[lost1607307474]

Yep, 2 years means this investment should be leading somewhere I think. If not, its time to abandon it . If it is, then its time to take an additional step forward...

 

That's exactly why earlier this year I ended my relationship with my boyfriend of just over 2 years.

[Vynde]

I have read that 51% of all marriages end in the first 7 years.. You would have better luck of winning big in vegas then having a lasting marriage.

 

Crzy

[kath123]

well what about ten years with no problems (that i was aware of) and then BANG!! truly crazy.

[crvers]

I have read that 51% of all marriages end in the first 7 years.. You would have better luck of winning big in vegas then having a lasting marriage.

 

Crzy

 

Personally think thats a cynical way of looking at things. For the most part I think this thread is more of a curiosity of the timelines inwhich people end their relationship...It is definitely interesting how their are usual markers as to when this happens.

[Jordan5571]

Strange.... How can you ever feel comfortable? I know you need to stay on your toes and never stop impressing, but when can you believe that love wont fade?

[Jayar]

Mine ended just after two years. He wasn't interested in marrying me. I just wish he hadn't led me on for 2 years. So if you're ever in a position where you're dating someone you KNOW isn't the one, for the love of God just break up with them! This past break-up hurt me so much.

 

In future relationships, if he hasn't indicated he wants to be exclusive by 6 months it's over. This means he's making time for me during the week, wants to spend most weekends together (without my prompting) and wouldn't even dream of being with any other girl on New Year's Eve/V-Day... Then if he hasn't made indication that he wants to marry me by a year to a year and a half after that, I'll end it... Even if he's the best thing that ever happened to me. I am NOT interested in dragged-on long-term relationships that aren't going where I want them to go. I'm sure my ex would have been perfectly capable of dating me for 5 to 10 years without ever taking the next step. You have to set time limits, IMO. And "indication" to marry me might come in the form of ring shopping, mentioning it casually, talking to my parents about it, or even just something simple like wanting to move in together (at which point he finds out that isn't an option pre-marriage).

 

I'm NEVER wasting more than 2 years on a dead-end relationship ever again. Ideally, guys who aren't serious won't make it past the 6-month mark and will be weeded out. There is honestly nothing worse than spending over 2 years with the guy you think you're going to marry just to hear him tell you at the last second that he isn't happy with you and he doesn't know why.

[Jordan5571]

She and I were both talking about getting married long before. A month before she left me, she asked when am I going to propose, I basically said soon. 2 weeks before leaving me, she said she had a "happy" dream, that we were pregnant. Then changes her mind....

 

It is tough to think of going through another relationship allowing her to get my guard down, and beleiving her when she tells me that she wants me and only me for the rest of her life. And a family with me. It is going to be tough to believe a girl's feelings.

 

But.... This is what I will do. I will still put 100% and let myself in. But its hard knowing one day it can just slip away...

 

I am doing better though!

[Jayar]

She and I were both talking about getting married long before. A month before she left me, she asked when am I going to propose, I basically said soon. 2 weeks before leaving me, she said she had a "happy" dream, that we were pregnant. Then changes her mind....

 

It is tough to think of going through another relationship allowing her to get my guard down, and beleiving her when she tells me that she wants me and only me for the rest of her life. And a family with me. It is going to be tough to believe a girl's feelings.

 

But.... This is what I will do. I will still put 100% and let myself in. But its hard knowing one day it can just slip away...

 

I am doing better though!

 

Hang in there! I'm sure you're too good of a guy to let yourself get ruined by this. There's nothing worse for a girl than feeling she's paying for all of your ex's mistakes! Treat each new relationship as a fresh start. Put your all in, and be honest. If it's working, let it work... If not, then end it. It hurts a lot less if you end it as soon as you know it isn't going anywhere. From experience, I wish my ex had ended it a few months in when he must have known I wasn't the one... Rather than at the last minute.

[JoeWho]

My last relationship lasted almost ten years. Would be 10 Novermber 25th. We had a little bump right before two years, but were still so young and made it through it. Then made it to about 8 years without any major problems. The last two were just tough although there were sill good times but the future was clearly in jeopardy. We should have broken up at eight years. I too have noticed the two year and seven year thing with many friends. Weird

[heyduh]

believe it or not, human beings are hardwired to be in serial monogamous relationships that last about 2 years. read up on the effects that chemicals like oxytocin, seratonin, dopamine have on love, sex and relationships ... (I am sure i spelt them all wrong)

[Jordan5571]

So, if about 2 years into it, i spray some oxytocin on my shirt, i can extend things? Strange, but i happen to have some!