I've forgotten how to make friends

[Dial595Escape]

It seems to me that this could be the cause for the recent depression I have experienced over the past few months. I did not go to high school in the are I am living now so I do not have the opportunity of a "lunch hour" to find my social group. When I graduated in 2004 , I began working full-time and moved out immediately to a different city – I've been living here ever since. It's been over 2 years now and I have only made 2 true friends in the area – both being ex\current girlfriend(s).

 

When I am not with my girlfriend and I travel into the city, I see groups of people together at the restaurants and friends at the pool hall, etc. But when your in the big city in the big malls you can't approach anyone.

 

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Through the beginning of my high school half-decade some 6 years ago I slowly built up friendships with my peers which was something that came naturally to me. The situation of a lunch hour is rather rare when it comes to the unique environment that contains it – school. Since I graduated from high school I decided that I wanted to establish myself as a self-supporting person before I rushed myself into a decision for my career.

[laboheme]

What about your coworkers? If you're working full-time, you should have plenty of opportunities to get to know some of them...and in time, maybe you'll start socializing with them outside of work, getting to know their friends, etc...

 

What about neighbors? Can your girlfriend introduce you to anyone? Do you do any kind of volunteer work?

[Dial595Escape]

What about your coworkers? If you're working full-time, you should have plenty of opportunities to get to know some of them...and in time, maybe you'll start socializing with them outside of work, getting to know their friends, etc...

 

What about neighbors? Can your girlfriend introduce you to anyone? Do you do any kind of volunteer work?

 

Well, I just lost my job so I guess that got rid of that idea. But even then my co-workers were 15 years older than me. My girlfriend is very much a loner like me - which is also putting a huge strain on our relationship.

 

And no, I don't do any volunteer work.

[Lanterna Magica]

Maybe taking up an activity, something you are interested in in which you can learn with a group of people towards a goal.

 

And voluntary work sounds like a great idea.

 

I did volunteer work for a time and it was always a pleasure.

[Dial595Escape]

I already volunteer many extra hours at my new job so anything wouldn't leave any hours left in the day. Since I've focused so much at my new job I've gained 2 promotions and 2 raises. I go back to work hours after my shift is over now - it seems to feel more "At home" than home now. and, there are friendly people there and smiles on their faces. They often ask why I always come to work on my days off and why i stay so late - I just tell them it's the extra work I do as a manager. Whatever, I socialize mostly.

 

It's been many months since I started this thread and I don't feel like much has changed.

 

Well, I left my girlfriend to persue a fresh relationship...

 

I also started to get back in contact with a few friends I went to highschool with to spend time with. This seems to be going well - I think I should move closer to my old highschool where my old friends live. Maybe moving away was a mistake?

 

I've also started majorly obsessing over a long-time highschool crush (a good 7 year crush now)

 

What the hell is happening to me?

am I just confused, off track, or becoming depressed or what?

[Dial595Escape]

Anyone? ~~

[Weeblie]

I don't think volunteering extra hours at work is the same thing as volunteering. The more time you spend at work, the less time you have for doing some real socializing. Instead of working so much you should try to spend time with people outside of work. I used to do the same thing, then I realized that when I finally was invited to hang out with people, I couldn't because I was working.

 

And I guess you could move closer to your old friends, but have you really tried making new friends?

[Dial595Escape]

I don't think volunteering extra hours at work is the same thing as volunteering. The more time you spend at work, the less time you have for doing some real socializing. Instead of working so much you should try to spend time with people outside of work. I used to do the same thing, then I realized that when I finally was invited to hang out with people, I couldn't because I was working.

 

And I guess you could move closer to your old friends, but have you really tried making new friends?

 

I really don't know what you mean by "have you really tried making new friends"

 

After I first got here I tried to catch conversations with anyone my age I met. at the bus stop, cashiers at the grocery store, the video stores>

Most are girls with boyfriend, the guys are weirded out by me talking to them so i generally don't, and the rest totally ignore me.

[AusTrist]

Hey mate I am in a very similar boat as you. I moved from the country to the city. My friends mainly consist of ex girlfriends friends which isnt a hell of a lot. I have gone to pubs n stuff and started yarns with random blokes about all sorts of things. i usually just pick up what theyre doing maybe checking o0ut a pool game or some chicks and comment about that to them and then start chtting from there. Never actually gotten to the point where I can hang out witht hem regualrly. i also am part of a 4wd group cos I love 4wdriving and hang out with them from time to time. I still havent made any real friends where I can just go to hang out with them whenever sort of a thing. I work but all my workmates have their own lives so yeh. I have been here 7 yrs now and still havent made any real decent friends yet but I still manage o find some people to hang out with from time to time.