Dreaming

[Shane13]

i finally think im almost there with getting over my ex of 2years,when i think of her and get sad i concentrate real hard to block her out of my mind,it works!however recently i have been dreaming of her every night,"kissing her then she runs away and says she cant be with me!".we havnt spoke or seen each other for 3months,unless briefly at club.any ideas why this is happning to me?thanks people

[kath123]

i dont think your as over her as youd like to think. If you were, you wouldn't have to make a conscious effort to block her from your mind, she just wouldn't be in your mind to that extent if you were over her.

As for the dreams i'm not sure, maybe you need more things going on in your life right now to take your mind off her.

Are you getting out enough with your mates??

[sandyv]

I think its pretty normal what your dealing with here, it takes time.... I find myself dreaming of my ex alot, (its been about 4 weeks)..... so hang in there...

[JoeWho]

Yeah, the dreams can really mess with your head and set you back a little. Last night I had a dream that me and the ex were moving into another apartment like nothing had happened (LOL). Have been going NC 2 months except for 5 weeks ago when we saw eachother to exchange the rest of our stuff. (what a nightmare that was) Anyways sometimes dreams are your way of dealing with things that are painful. You lost a huge part of your life, so naturally there is a void. When you dream sometimes the mind fills that void with dreams of the good old ex. It is perfectly normal to have those type of dreams and is part of the healing process.

[Jordan5571]

I have the same thing. I dream about her everynight. Its hard for me though to block her out of my mind (ADD x10). But when I do, the dreams are more intense.

 

My opinion, this is becuase your mind HAS to dwell a bit on her. It's your brains way of getting over this. And since we are blocking her out, when we go to sleep it takes over since we are not consious.

 

Does that make sense?

[kekep]

i hope jordan is right that me dreaming about my ex every night is part of the healing process! otherwise, my brain is turning against me...

 

i have a question: does anyone have moments in the middle of the night where they wake up and just lay there, thinking about your ex? i can get to sleep quickly but after about 5 or 6 hours i suddenly wake up. b/c this has happened to me EVERY NIGHT since the breakup, like clockwork...it is soooo dreadful ](*,)

[Shane13]

k thanks for replies,yeh im out all the time,literally every night!go away most weekends on "binge" trips to.About 12 lads all go away like Cardiff or blackpool.im seeing another girl 2,i really am doing all the things people have mentioned,nc,deleted phone numbers,boxed up EVERYTHING that reminds me of her,yet recently im getting almost the same dream every night.,

I meet her,we have a great time, we kiss then she says she has to go and i wake up,feel real low,but manage to smile and move on.am i going insane?lol.i really am happy with life,got a great new plumbing job with good money and the blokes i work with are hilarious,but whenever a sad song is on radio or something reminds me of her(real little things) it brings back memories.HELP!lol

[Jordan5571]

For the first 3 weeks, I dreamed the same dream, of her breaking up with me while holding her new man...

 

Also, the night thing is real, I wake up every night still to this day at 4:20 am, then I am up for about 10 minutes or so, then back to bed. Then I wake as I am supposed to with my alarm at 5:30, and its getting less, but in the beggining, I would lay there without a struggle, and just tear... Now, I am back to normal with waking, it takes hitting the snooze ten times and she is not the first thing I think of when waking (atleast during work days).

 

So it is getting easier.

[poetsheart]

For a long time I was dreaming of my ex almost every night.... I think it's your subconscious mind holding on...replaying what could have been etc... pretty soon the dreams will stop and you will eventually feel alot better. It's part of the process.. I now think due to my experience it's a cleansing period, and once you have gone through these dreams, little by little they will stop....

[sandyv]

Yeah I think your right, my dreams of the ex are all about betrayal, I wake feeling horrible......

[kath123]

jordan5571,

how long did it take for you not to lie in bed and think of her as soon as you woke?

i find this to be the worst part of all, and cant wait til it stops!

[TornTattered]

Well.. i can say that most of my dreams have been the reconciliation type. The dreams were never bad. But then id wake up and reality would slap me in the face. It hurt every morning. I still have a dream involving her every night, but when i wake up i dont feel bad. It just takes some time. As other people have said, its the brain's way of dealing with it. It will get better.