Hot Man, Hot Woman- he's moving too slow???

[Heatrae]

I met this man online. He's 33, divorced with a son (3.5) part time, and a scorpio. He is asserive in wanting to spend a lot of time on the phone. We met in person- hit it off famously. We didnt' kiss on the first date, but did some hugging. We are definitely attracted to each other and relieved. He tells me he doesn't want to go the "physical" route because relationships that are built on that don't last. This time around he wants to "peel back the layers" of the other person and fall in love with that first. In the past, he has become sexual very quickly and then lost interest very fast.

We ha the first date, then another casual date 3 days later (spoke on the phone each day tho) and then he invited me to meet his family the following weekend. I had a blast meeting them. They were great and they really liked me. I am nothing like the ex-wife. So it's been a total of 3 weeks that we've been communicating. He calls and textpages all the time. I have seen him those 3 times. He calls and analyzes the "relationship" constantly and is just not ready to kiss me. I am going NUTS! It makes me feel unattractive and I've never met a man like this before. I assured him I am not ready to be sexual, but that one of the ways I connect with a person is through physical touch. He agrees and says he feels it, but just isn't letting himself go there yet. He wants to make sure everything else is there first, because he knows it will go sexual quick and wants to make sure the relatiosnhip can withstand it. It's as tho he's stuck in the uncertainty stage. I don't know what to do.

I just want a kiss. I want to be able to be myself, but instead I am playing therapist, friend, etc. I want something romantic. He talks about romantic all the time. His intentions are for a relationship with me. He is used to dating girls, where he calls me a WOMAN. A mature, stable, career-minded, beautiful woman that challenges his mind. I am also very tall. He is 6'5 and I am 6'1. He is hung up on my height. He is used to being the dominate one in the realtionship and now he is trying to be with me who he considers his equal. I amke him THINK about things.

Please help...where is this going? Should I ne happy he's moving so slow or are these red flags. I m a very attractive, well-built woman and he's very attractive also. I don't know what to make of it. Help a sister out, will ya!!

[winkie]

I am a scorpio also and I can tell you that scorpios are very sexually people and it can over take them. I think he is playing smart by getting to know you on a personal level before hitting the sheets. He may be just protecting this relationship and really want it to work. It seems like he cares for you inviting you to the family and stuff. I am one of those people bothered by height I am 5'8 althoough that is not like your 6'1 but I prefer my guys to be at least 6ft it is hard but i would not let that be the deciding factor of the person I want to spend my time with. Also , you mentioned about you not being like his ex-wife How was she?? How long were they married for?

[Heatrae]

Thanks Winkie. T was with his wife in totality for 5 years, married for 2.5 of those. She was controlling and selfish and about 7 years younger.. She wanted all of his time and attentions and tried to keep him from his family. They didn't like her because of this. He doesn't compare me to her openly, but I"m sure in his mind he does. I was aware scorpios are sexual people, but I'm just talking maybe some hand h olding, a little kissing, etc. I really want to make that connection with him. It's a big deal to kiss and all, but I'm not going to have sex with him right now.

 

Why won't he kiss me? I'm a pretty hot chick and I've told him I have outstanding boundaries and that my concern would be that he's not attracted to me. He assured me that during one of our hugs, "the attraction is definitely there and the blood is pumping down below!" So that made me feel better, but as our conversations progress (and we talk daily. I never call him- he always calls me) I dont' want to end up just a friend. I mean, how long should I allow this to continue. I have my needs too. I just want to be able to be myself. I am a physical person (Leo) and show my love through touch and expression. I am not able to do that with him becuse I"m accommodating his "need" to "peel back my layers" before he even KISSES me. Tell me why just kissing me would be such a big deal. I am 34 years old...I have control! HELP!

[winkie]

Yes well you see in mycasse kissing will lead to other things and it is hard to have control woth someone you are attracted to especially on all levels. I think he is taking it slow so that he does not disrespcet you in anyway and get caught up in sexual desire (It can happen people get caught up in the desire to be with someone sexually that they mix their feelings and it over powers them. I think what he is doing is very honorable of getting to know you. He may see you as his soulmate and not want to risk anything. Scorpios are very intuitive.