I want her not to exist.

[kash2000]

What if you spent a good while with a woman (2 years). Imagin if you spent it breaking to her ego. Forfilling hers and abandoning your own pursuits.

What if she destroyed your sense of individuality and character and introduced you to profound amounts of stress & anxiety that no one had ever induced upon you.

 

The central element of her world is herself. Overcoming her childhood hardships has convinced her of a certain superiority to her surroundings, treating most people as close-minded upon initial contact. Obstructively interrupting people's conversations and enforcing her opinion in classes and creating an aura of superiority around her.

 

I never knew anything about the concept of spirit. Until I had to research what it is that is turning my stomach.

 

Where does this put you? Even after the breakup? Confronting her in school creates so much pain...to know such a person can & does exist and such a perception of life is possible.

 

What if I don't hate her as a gf, but hate her as a human being...every one of her core values. What if her essense makes my stomach turn and rib cage shiver with fear? Should I pick up a gun (ofcourse I am not talking literally...well maybe one bullet? it's just one!?)

 

My solution so far has been to delete her from memory. When I stumble upon her in school, I literally see nothing. My eye wavers off without care...but my heart thrives with a pain that forbids breathing (oh no it's not love). She sometimes approaches me to talk, and I just want to die, I say nothing and look down & just murmur the lyrics of a song. I want to burst into tears of terror because I see the devil. (and I'm a nihilist)

 

I've never ever hated anyone. I believe we are not to judge until we have researched analyzed and re-evaluated someone over a consistent amount of communication over a substantial amount of time. Otherwise...I assume you are a human capable of lots of mistakes, but mean well.

 

My question for you guys is how would you deal with this? Because I think I'll unfortunately have to master the art of hate...alone. What do I do? How do I handle this? Can't I just delete her? I can delete spam! surely there must be a way for this...

 

 

Thanks so much for reading all that. Propz to you.

 

a

[kash2000]

nevermind Reading FCTex's post gave me what I was looking for.

 

Thanks FC, great post.

[melrich]

Sounds like you are right in the middle of the anger phase. It shouldn't last long. Give it a couple of months. You WILL be OK.

[TheRedQueen]

There's a thin line between love and hate. I love to hate those I love and hate to love those I hate....headache, love is a mess, steer clear of it.

[kash2000]

permission for Advil?

 

I really think there's so much to do in life that Love & Women fill only so many holes and those holes are right in our route of experiences and interests.

 

Why can't we just tear this urge for love and partnership due to our insecurity and be bold enough to jump into life!?!! five espresso's and a red bull does the job but there must be a healthier way!?

[melrich]

Is this the same issue? Or are we just meandering here?

 

Why can't we just tear this urge for love and partnership due to our insecurity and be bold enough to jump into life!?!!

 

I'm not sure most people pursue these things because of some sort of insecurity. I think you'll find you are in a different place, your emotions sound raw, you will see things clearer with time.

[TheRedQueen]

permission for Advil?

you wish, more like Vicodin my dear.

 

I really think there's so much to do in life that Love & Women fill only so many holes and those holes are right in our route of experiences and interests.

 

Why can't we just tear this urge for love and partnership due to our insecurity and be bold enough to jump into life!?!! five espresso's and a red bull does the job but there must be a healthier way!?

It's a distraction, a perfect sodding mess of a distraction, love that is..

[sandyv]

Hi, I know that feeling (wishing the ex didn't exist any longer), I live three blocks from my ex, we have mutual friends... and it was a horrendous breakup as well. But I do my best to just look through him, that happened this past weekend. We both have a favorite pub and he seems to think he has more right to be there than I, it seems. When he came into the pub, I was there, so he just stood there and stared me down for about 3 minutes giving me the death glare for about 2 full minutes. Well screw him, I'll go where I choose, he can kiss my f.......g cookies!

[ImThatGirl]

Please don't ever think "I wish they didn't exist." I've done it before and I so wish I didn't. My ex and I were able to be friends a couple years after we split. He had just started stopping by my house for coffee in the mornings on his way to a new job. Suddenly, he was gone. And even though I was never serious about my wishes the many years before, it bothers me terribly that I ever thought those words.

[sandyv]

There's a thin line between love and hate. I love to hate those I love and hate to love those I hate....headache, love is a mess, steer clear of it.

 

 

 

 

I coudn't agree more!

[kash2000]

"Please don't ever think "I wish they didn't exist." I've done it before and I so wish I didn't."

 

I understand what you are saying, but the thing is that she stands for all that is wrong with this world. She stands and glares upon altruism and deliberately steps on it. It is not about if she hurt me or not, she did it...took me a year to get over it & thanks to it I did gain so much knowledge about myself. So my thanks to her!

But now that I have found myself...I can see clearly what was wrong without any bias or agenda.

She stops my friends to ask them to check out her myspace account and her new music (in pursuit of a career in music has always been important to her). But the very same people...she ignores the next day according to who she is with at the time. ](*,) Could this be right? Is this a healthy human being? Don't you wish there were fewer of these people in this world? We could begin with her!?

[CoolBambi]

Very often the anger we project onto our Exs is the anger we feel for ourselves...

 

"Why did I let them do this to me...Why did I let them treat me so badly...Why I am such a bloody idiot that I couldnt see it coming...Why did I fall for this horrendous person...Why am I so weak I can't get over this etc"

 

These are perfectly natural feelings - as is feeling hate towards your ex. Being angry gives you a feeling of strength and power where as being miserable or unhappy makes you feel weak.

 

Finding strength and power adds to the healing process but they should be found in postive and constructive ways...when you concentrate on putting everything in your life that is good, fun, enjoyable and positive and getting rid of all the negative, draining, soul destroying stuff...she will become nothing but a distant memory that has little effect on your life.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Heres my take on this

 

"What if you spent a good while with a woman (2 years). Imagin if you spent it breaking to her ego. Forfilling hers and abandoning your own pursuits. What if she destroyed your sense of individuality and character and introduced you to profound amounts of stress & anxiety that no one had ever induced upon you."

 

induced is a good word, but the truth is YOU did this to yourself you have her that power when your fear of losing her over road your sense of self.

She never asked you our right, DO EVERY THING I SAY SLAVE no that was you handing over yourself on a plate for what you wonted LOVE.

 

You tryed to buy love with a cost that was to high, its all right most of us have done the same i think many only a lucky few do not. But we larn that some things come at to high a price, whats the point in getting the woman of your dreams when you stop being the man who dreams of her.

 

Ask your self this will you do the same again? with your next GF or will you stay you even if it means that it will not work out. Then ask the most importante Question of all what would I compremice and what would I not.

 

 

"but the thing is that she stands for all that is wrong with this world"

 

Then you stand for what you belife is right, truth, strenght and honor.

Thats what I sand for, I meet others in my life who stand for what I feel is wrong, but I do not hate I educate, I do this by actions and my deeds, when other fall I stand when others group think to the wrong I say what I think, I do not harm or hurt, I hold and help.

 

Hate has uses but some times doing whats right means more than thinking whats right.