Dealing with girlfriend's jealous friend

[Jhawk22]

I have a lot to say on this topic, to much to put on one little post. But I'll try not to. Back in March, I met this really great girl. We started going out, but summer was fast approaching. And since it is a college town, everyone goes their separate ways for the summer. thereforeeeee, I knew that we wouldn't have a lot of time together. For the first month, all we did was talk an hang out, but in May it started to turn really physical. I'm talking about everything. At the same time, I knew that I really liked her. When it first started to heat up, I told her I wasn't interested in just playing around. I told her I cared about her, and she said she did too. I could tell there was definite chemistry between us. We used to talk for at least five hours a day. Even after we went our separate ways for the summer, we talked non-stop all night. But then she started taking summer classes, and contact died down. Then I started to get pushy, because I took it all for granted that she didn't have to call me at all. She was trying to keep contact when her schedule completely caved in on her. At some point, she got sick of me badgering her and contact completely stopped. So then I overstepped by making a two hour trip just to see her. We really did have a lot of fun that night just hanging out, but then two days later she said that maybe we shouldn't do this. But then, she called me the night before the 4th of July wanting me to be with her because she didn't want to be alone. I felt insulted because her birthday was the next night, and she didn't want me to be there for that. So I did the wrong thing again and showed up on her Birthday. She ignored me completely, I made a scene, and I left mean messages on her voice mail. She followed up with one of her own that very nicely said that we shouldn't talk or see eachother again. But then three weeks after that, she called three times in one week. She was wanting to get together with me. I finally got back into town, and I went and stayed the night with her. We didn't do anything physical. I took her out to eat, we drank, and we watched a movie. The entire night, she was very flirty and playful with me. She told me how she wanted me to go out to the bars with her, she said she wanted to help me with some of my classes. She was very sweet and caring. The entire night she was never more than a couple of inches away from me. At one point, I went silent for a while. She kept asking me what's wrong. I told her nothing was. She was very thoughtful. By the end of the night, she was laid out accross her couch with her legs accross my lap. She let me rub her, and eventually she scooted over on her side and let me lay next to her. She let me hold her for a while before eventually getting up. The next morning, I kind of tested her. I left without saying anything. I wanted to know if she really cared if I did that. I was pleasantly surprised when she later asked me why I didn't say anything. I haven't had as much fun with her as I did that night even without getting physical. I think we really clicked. I felt like we were definitely still together. If you're still reading this, it gets really complicated. Now, her friend is back in town. They used to do everything together until I came into the scene. I have really tried to be nice to this girl, but she hates me. She thinks I'm trying to steal her friend. After that great night back in town, my girl won't have a thing to do with me now that her friend is back. When I showed up the other night, her friend looked really shocked. She thought she had ran me off for good by the lies she told about me on this girl's birthday. I dont' think that my girl told her that she was still in contact with me. I can handle that, but it really insults me when the two girls show up to an apartment that is just three balconies away from where my friends live. They sit up on that balcony and my baby doesn't say a word to me. I call her phone, she lets other people answer it . I felt another rage coming on just like on her birthday. Then, me and my friends fill up some kegs and have a party. I wanted to meet the guys whose apartment my girl and her friend were frequenting. It turns out they are really great guys, and we have a lot in common. They know my situation and they are very sympathetic. So I invited them over to have a good time. Basically, my girlfriends over bearing, manipulating friend is taunting me by showing up with her when she knows I'm going to be there. My girl can't tell her to butt out of our relationship. She goes along with everything that her friend wants to do. They even came over to our party. They are both isolates. They don't fit in, and they don't know anybody. If my girl was going to ignore me, I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of pining over her all night. I played drinking games with my friends and had a blast. Meanwhile, she was never more than a couple feet behind me the entire night. She was always looking in my direction, and from time to time I would catch her looking at me. Finally, I think that they had seen enough so they left. I raced to front her at the door, her friend was telling me to leave her the **** alone. Just by how much fun we had Tuesday, I know there is more to us than that. Why is she getting all dressed up to come to a party that she knows I'll be at. Then she sits there and watches me all night. I know how she really feels about me, and she is fronting just for her friends sake. It just sends me into a rage, and all I think about is this scenario. Meanwhile, my girl punishes me because her friend doesn't like knowing that she still talks to me. I'm just so fed up with it all. I haven't done anything really bad to deserve this. I got a little pushy earlier this summer, but I have backed off big time. And she always calls me back when her friend isn't around. When is she going to open her eyes, and see what she does to me. When is she going to stop letting her friend dictate her actions. I think the game is being played between me and her friend. But I really do think I have already won just based on the time we spent together last week. There is nothing that this friend can say or do, because my girl always ends up getting a hold of me. And now they are partying right down the street from me with guys that are on my side. I think if I play my cards right, her friend is going to run her right into my arms. But I can barely get a chance to speak with her because her friend is always right there. Her friend was okay when I was just dancing with her on a table for one night. But when we started to get serious I think it made her realize that her girltime was in jeopardy. That is when I noticed a change in her attitude towards me, and my girl goes from hot to cold with me on a drop of a dime just by her friend being there.

[Annoyed And Bitter]

It sounds to me like the prblem is not with this girl's friend, but with your girl and you. Maybe this friend is being manipulative, but your girl and yourself are the ones letting it interfere with your relationship.

 

Furthermore, your girl is using you to fill up her empty time, and you have got to stop letting her do that to you. Tell her that you are worth more than that and you deserve better than being a part-time fling, which is exactly what you are.

 

Your girl has some choices to make and so do you... Make them wisely, dear....