Contact him, or let it die without knowing why?

[ashleyyy]

I have known my ex for 13 years. We dated 3 years ago for 7 months, broke up, stayed on good terms and were "getting back together" recently. Also, the dating was long distance (8 hours).

 

The first time we broke up was because I wanted the relationship to continue to grow, and he wasn't into the long distance enough. We stayed friends and things were ok. I was abroad all of last year for work, and we kept in limited touch. When we both were home for the summer, we hang out, it felt like getting back was something that we were working on. We were taking it slowly. Also, when we broke up it was with a sense of hope that we will give it another chance in the future.

 

Well, I thought that this summer was the chance, but I'm scared that he might be enjoying having me here when he comes back for weekends, but the long diatnce issue is still not someting he wants.

 

I'm writing, because I am very scared that our very long story together might end in a very lame way, with us just not contacting each other. Ever since he left his home after summer, contact has stopped. He has not replied to an email I sent, even after telling me he will and we need to talk.

 

What do you think? Should I contact him gain, just to get closure? Or should I just let this die, not knowing why?? THANK YOU for your help!

[rose2summer]

Well, I think the fact he isn't returning your emails means he has moved on or lost interest.

 

I am sorry to say the hun, but it's best to move on because he isn't going to give your closure.

 

You have far more invested than he does, so let yourself heal and let go of any thought of reconciliation or closure with him.

 

Hugs, Rose

[ashleyyy]

Rose,

 

Thank you for the reply! I think that what you said about him losing interest is what I'm most scared of, but it's good to hear it, I need it to move on and teahc myself to love someone else.

 

There is one thing that is making this more difficult than it should be. I felt like he was making all the stps to get back together, like he was initiaiting it all. Also, he has talked to 2 of my close friends about us and it seemed like he was so hapy about me giving it another go. I wish I knew why this stopped!?!?

[Juliana]

Call him on the phone. Get it face to face. Do something definitive. I was in a similar situation; it's better to get it right out there, one way or the other. Even if it turns out he's lost or is losing interest, you'll know. Communication is the hallmark of a good relationship, so, communicate!

[ashleyyy]

Hey Juliana, thank you for the insight! I think that I migh call him later on this week. I agree, I will know. Also, I will know how to deal with the situation, and possibly how to approach him if we are never together, since we will be seeing each other randomly for sure.

 

What do others think? Call or just let it die? Also, do you think I mght have put too much pressure on him by telling him how much I care about him etc?

[Pippa]

I have known my ex for 13 years. We dated 3 years ago for 7 months, broke up, stayed on good terms and were "getting back together" recently.

 

Thirteen years is a long time to throw away! Seven months is too short to find out if he is "the one".

 

The fact that he isn`t replying to your emails doesn`t mean hes refusing to talk to you. Remember people chnage email address all the time. He could be working, doing other things, or left the country.

 

I just don`t think he`s that much in love with you.