At a breaking point

[RobinBoro]

I'm going to try and sum up my problem quickly so you don't have a read a book. I am married with 2 kids (15 and 11). Me and my husband have been having problems for years. Same problem every time but we make up but never deal with the issues.

 

First off let me say my husband has a temper and well he can't control it. He will get mad and the smallest of things and with that can come name calling and saying hurtful things. I know I am not the easiest person in the world to live with I can be moody, I do not communicate very well and well I avoid problems/conflicts. We disagree on the kids and how hard you should be on them and what support they should be getting for their parents. I believe in support and praise first and then tell them what they can do to improve. I don't believe in cutting on them and always focusing on the negative. Another issue is when we get in a fight two things seem to happen...first he tell me I have a boyfriend (never have, do not plan on it and have never given any reason for him to think this) and he will then say "file the paper work" and sometimes at the b*&ch word. I have told him I can't do this anymore. He knows I am at my whits end. I have told him what my issues are and from what he says basically he isn't agreeing with me. Oh he knows and admits he has a temper but beyond that this is him and I should accept him for the way he is. I told him we fear him when he gets angry. He thinks we are being dramatic. He thinks I am poisoning the kids minds but he says means things to them do and is continually making them cry when he talks to them so I don't need to say anything. He thinks we don't respect him but you know what you have to earn respect also. I think we have a big problem and I don't know if I am making more out of this than I should. If I should just say sorry and move on.

 

Another problem we have is he works 6 hours from me so only comes home on the weekends ... well like every other weekend if that. What pisses me off is if he gets angry just before he is to come home - he does come. We don't call each other and the silent treatment begins.

 

Am I making sense or babbling. Looking for imput. Counseling is going to be hard together because basically we are apart. Help!

[Aschleigh]

I don't see how anything can get settled with your relationship if he is only around every other weekend.

If he were committed to the relationship he would find a job that aloowed him to be at home with his wife and kids daily.

[Rabican]

This is a tough one... oh wait not really. Divorce.

 

You deserve better than this, he isnt around hes leaving you to handle the family raising and day to day, and then when he does show up hes a jerk. Id tell him the next time hes planning on coming home, not to bother until he wants to bring a new attitude with him.