RobinBoro

I'm going to try and sum up my problem quickly so you don't have a read a book. I am married with 2 kids (15 and 11). Me and my husband have been having problems for years. Same problem every time but we make up but never deal with the issues. First off let me say my husband has a temper and well he can't control it. He will get mad and the smallest of things and with that can come name calling and saying hurtful things. I know I am not the easiest person in the world to live with I can be moody, I do not communicate very well and well I avoid problems/conflicts. We disagree on the kids and how hard you should be on them and what support they should be getting for their parents. I believe in support and praise first and then tell them what they can do to improve. I don't believe in cutting on them and always focusing on the negative. Another issue is when we get in a fight two things seem to happen...first he tell me I have a boyfriend (never have, do not plan on it and have never given any reason for him to think this) and he will then say "file the paper work" and sometimes at the b*&ch word. I have told him I can't do this anymore. He knows I am at my whits end. I have told him what my issues are and from what he says basically he isn't agreeing with me. Oh he knows and admits he has a temper but beyond that this is him and I should accept him for the way he is. I told him we fear him when he gets angry. He thinks we are being dramatic. He thinks I am poisoning the kids minds but he says means things to them do and is continually making them cry when he talks to them so I don't need to say anything. He thinks we don't respect him but you know what you have to earn respect also. I think we have a big problem and I don't know if I am making more out of this than I should. If I should just say sorry and move on. Another problem we have is he works 6 hours from me so only comes home on the weekends ... well like every other weekend if that. What pisses me off is if he gets angry just before he is to come home - he does come. We don't call each other and the silent treatment begins. Am I making sense or babbling. Looking for imput. Counseling is going to be hard together because basically we are apart. Help!

I'm replying because I'm on the other end of your situation....I'm the wife with a husband with a temper. He gets angry very easily and sometimes it gets out of control. He will say things that are hurtful and calls names. He is a controlling person so it is usually his way or no way. We will go for a long time with no issues but then something happens and he blows up. I'm getting better to standing up to him so the fights can get worse because of it. Now that I do that he gets angry and says "don't you talk to me that way." Wow am I a kid or his wife. I am responding to you because you said something about your anger and that we all have short comings. That is true but how much of this should I take? I have told him that I need some space right now to think and I told him what my issues were. He tells me I have a boyfriends (never have don't plan on it and never have done anything for him to think this way), calls names, says hurtful things, etc. I truly think he doesn't think he has a problem. He knows he has a temper but he always has excuses. Bottom line I told him I can't live like this any more and something needs to be done. Am I way out of line. I know I am hard to deal with sometimes...I'm moody, I don't communication very well and I am good at avoiding problems. I here looking for advice as I have nobody I feel I can talk to. Did I babble too much and not make any sense. Help!