Please help me ... my gf's sex drive died all of a sudden.

[TheLostBird]

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[rose2summer]

A side effect of Mircette is low sex drive, so I would be inclined to say that's most likely the cause.

 

I was on that pill and it also lowered my libido, so I removed myself from it.

 

You say that she has been off for it for 2 weeks, and sometimes it can take up to 6months for the hormone levels to be re-regulated.

 

Although her bloodwork was ok, it doesn't mean that she hasn't had a wash-out effect yet from the medicine.

 

Give it some time and and she should return back to normal, I sure did and wow, it's better than before .

 

Hugs, Rose

[TheLostBird]

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[rose2summer]

Well, I don't think there really is much you can do while she re-regulates her hormones.

 

What you can do though is be very affectionate, lots of kisses, hugs, cuddle time, so that she knows you love her despite the circumstances.

 

With time, she will be back to her old self.

 

Hugs, Rose

[zummyum]

What you can do though is be very affectionate, lots of kisses, hugs, cuddle time, so that she knows you love her despite the circumstances.

 

Great advice, Rose! I went through a similar situation and it really would have helped if my boyfriend at the time had continued to show me affection, physical and emotional, without the end result of sex.

 

As it ended up, we stopped touching completely because it was frustrating for him to cuddle and kiss without it leading up to sex, which made me feel completely undesirable and even more uninterested in sex because I felt un-sexy. It's a vicious cycle!

 

Of course, my sex drive came back with a vengance right after the break up.

[TheLostBird]

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[Stambler]

GIRLS! (I say girls because you're not mature enough to be women. OPEN YOUR EYES!)

 

Men need sex to feel close to you! If you push us away we feel distant!

 

We don't know how to show you we want to be close other than being romantic, intimate and sexual, give us a break! we aren't as intellectual as you are! When we want to be physical - it means we want to be close, together, intimate, bonded, whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

PLEASE give us the benefit of the doubt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[zummyum]

See thats what worries me ... was HE the problem or no? I would rather know now than 3 months later when it gets much worse...

 

In my situation he wasn't the problem - I was sick and the treatment (which took a couple of months) really kicked my butt and pretty much killed my sex drive. We just never recovered once I started to feel better.

 

If your girlfriend is dealing with hormonal stuff due to the birth control it might take some time for her to level out, and every situation is unique.

 

Good luck!

[Deviant_Kate]

While you're waiting, be supportive, let her know that you don't blame her for the lessened desire. Obviously, you should probably tone it down just a bit so she doesn't feel hounded, but don't give up - whether or not you blame her for the lack of sex, it could still pull you guys apart. Maybe you could settle for 1-2 times a week?

 

I don't know...it's a tough situation. I hope it works out for you both.

[rocio]

It's probably not you, exactly. But it may be psychological. Have there been any changes (positive or negative) in your relationship lately?

[TheLostBird]

The are two things that I can think of as "change"

 

1. She gained a bit of weight because of school, lack of time for the gym, etc. That doesnt bother me though, and shes still as attractive as ever.

 

2. We talked about moving in next year. She is excited about it and she was the one to suggest it, not me, so I dont think theres any pressure there. I even asked if that was the cause of her low libido, and she assured me it wasnt.

[rocio]

Either of those changes could be associated with her lack of sex drive. And she probably doesn't even know what is causing it herself.

 

From my own experience and that of some of my girlfriends, too much stability in a relationship can be a sexual turn-off. Sometimes we like the thrill of instability when it comes to the bedroom. You could try being less available ( without being mean or upsetting, of course).

 

And the weight gain could definitely be affecting your sex life. Even if you are totally turned on by her new curves, she may find them unsexy. Be extra careful about what you say. For example, avoid suggesting that she go for a walk or that she has eaten alot for supper. That really hurts us, even if you meant it in the most innocent way. Keep on complimenting her and making her feel like the sexiest girl in the world. It will probably take time for her to adjust.

[holyohio]

From my own experience and that of some of my girlfriends, too much stability in a relationship can be a sexual turn-off. Sometimes we like the thrill of instability when it comes to the bedroom. You could try being less available ( without being mean or upsetting, of course).

 

Interesting... Can you elaborate on this a little bit, please? Thanks.

 

my gf's sex drive is seeming a little out of whack and I think we've been spending too much time with each other. Im good with having me time, and shes on the clingy side...