linda5 Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 okay...so I met this guy about three months ago. I like him a lot, but I was seeing someone else at the time so I didn't think that there was anything serious besides having fun. We see each other every other week. Every time we get together, we hang out, ride motorcycle, walking in the park, and really have a good time keeping each other company. About three weeks ago, I stopped seeing the other person. Now I want to hang out with him more...not just one for every two weeks. We even got into the intimacy. I started to develop a feeling for him. Now I just wonder what is going on between us. I know that he likes me too. Should I tell him if we should seeing each other exclusively or just wait until he mentions it? And if I should how would I start the conversation?? Thanks a lot for your advices. Link to comment
DN Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Why don't you just say what someone else on here once said to the guy she was seeing "I enjoy being with you and don't want to see anyone else while I am seeing you. How do you feel?" Link to comment
Bethany Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Dance, honey, dance.... but let him take the lead. When he's ready, if he really does like you, he WILL lead. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Dance, honey, dance.... but let him take the lead. When he's ready, if he really does like you, he WILL lead. I agree with this. Let him know that you are unattached and not seeing anyone else. If he is interested he certainly will want to continue that conversation with you. If he is sincerely interested, he will probably not wait for you to bring that up but will ask you again whether you are available - if you are hanging around with him he clearly knows you are interested in more than friendship because you mentioned that the two of you had shown romantic feelings for each other. Link to comment
Jayar Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 No, don't ask him. Let him ask you. Save yourself a world of hurt in the long run, because if he doesn't ask you... Well, then he's just not that into you. Link to comment
2900 Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 definitely wait on him. i used to think that it was ok for a girl to make the moves, but after lots of dating i realized if a guy is truly interested in you, he'll do all the pursuing. i've been dating this guy for about a month now, and i havent had to call him once yet. i'll hear from him somehow (email, call, txt) everyday. and he always asks me out on our dates. so yeah, let him do it! Link to comment
linda5 Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 Thanks for all your advices. I now definitely will let him take the lead. It's sort of painful to wait for him to say it but then that's also a way to find out if he really likes me or not. Thanks again guys. Link to comment
DN Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 And if he's waiting to find out if you like him or not? Can anyone say 'impasse'? Link to comment
Bethany Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 The way to find out is to make a move on her. Link to comment
linda5 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Share Posted October 4, 2006 I haven't heard from him the last few days. I'm not sure what's going on and I don't plan to call him. Since I called him last Saturday and asked him to call back, and still haven't heard from him. I thought it's a bit strange that when we're together everything is so nice and smooth, but when we're apart sometimes we don't even talk for days. Any inputs??? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 I haven't heard from him the last few days. I'm not sure what's going on and I don't plan to call him. Since I called him last Saturday and asked him to call back, and still haven't heard from him. I thought it's a bit strange that when we're together everything is so nice and smooth, but when we're apart sometimes we don't even talk for days. Any inputs??? That sounds consistent with casual dating. In all the serious/healthy relationships I know of there is usually daily contact even if only a short "check in" call when the people don't see each other. Link to comment
linda5 Posted October 4, 2006 Author Share Posted October 4, 2006 Should I even bother to mention to him that I'm not into casual dating. And ask him how he feel about it?? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Should I even bother to mention to him that I'm not into casual dating. And ask him how he feel about it?? Well, it might confuse him since your actions and behavior have been perfectly consistent with casual dating. You could tell him that you're no longer comfortable with casual dating and want to know what his intentions are with respect to you, the next time he calls you. My prediction is that if he hasn't raised the issue on his own yet and is not calling you that frequently, that he wants to keep it casual for now. Link to comment
linda5 Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 It had been a week since the last time we talked. So today I sent him a text message asking how he's been and that I haven't heard back from him. I still didn't get any reply from him knowing that he got my message. I'll take that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. what do you think?? Link to comment
DN Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 I think you should give him a while longer to think and reply. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 It had been a week since the last time we talked. So today I sent him a text message asking how he's been and that I haven't heard back from him. I still didn't get any reply from him knowing that he got my message. I'll take that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. what do you think?? I think if you really want to communicate with him, call him on the phone and reach him. Texting is very indirect and easily misinterpreted. Link to comment
lady00 Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 I don't think texts are the best way to talk. You've been seeing each other for long enough now that I think it's fair to bring up that you would like to date more seriously. If he's not into that, then you can cut your losses and find someone who is. If he is into that, then great. To be fair to him, don't make assumptions about what he does or does not want before you ask him. Also, don't go into the conversation pessimistic...you never know, he might want the same thing as you but he might be feeling worried or insecure that you don't...guys fear rejection too. It think you should go into the convo aware that it could go either way and also try not to put it in a way that will put unnecessary pressure. Just explain what you want and see what he says. Before that, it's probably not a good idea to rush to judgments such as "he must not want to talk to me anymore." Confidence is attractive and insecurity isn't. Even if you don't get what you want at the end of the day, you need to approach this situation with confidence that a) you are a great person to date and b) he's already shown you that he likes you by dating him. Approach with confidence and hope for the best. Good luck!! Link to comment
linda5 Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 First I want to thank for all your inputs. Secondly I want to tell you that a couple days ago I tried to call him so I could tell him how I feel. He didn't answer the phone so I left him a message, mainly just to ask him how he's doing and also asked him to call back. However until now I still haven't heard from him. I know that at this point there is nothing I would do...cause I'd already did my part (I called him twice and sent him one text message in 2 weeks). My gut feeling is telling that he's ignoring and not contacting me. Oh well it's his loss. I really like this guy and I wish I told him how I feel about him the last time when we were together. I just want to know would that be it for us /and when I called, should I mention in the message that I have something that I want to tell him. Or anyway that I could do to get his attention. Thank you. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Ball is in his court - if he is interested he will call back - the fact that you've tried to contact him more than once is more than enough of a message to him that you want to reach him. Link to comment
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