Using cough syrup to get a child to sleep??

[BornToResist]

My bf has a 7 year old daughter. She spends the majority of the time living at her mother's house, who in my opinion needs to work on the whole "mother" thing, but that's just me.

 

Here's the situation:

This little girl was helping me clean the bathroom and she pointed at this heavy duty cough syrup in the cupboard. She told me her mom gives it to her at night to get her to sleep. I was shocked. She said it was more than just an occasional thing, and it was never because she felt sick or anything.

 

This stuff seriously STRONG. If I, a full grown adult, were to take a tablespoon of it, I'm knocked out in 10 minutes for the entire night. It says "Not intended for use in children under 12," and this girl is 7! And she's very tiny too. It makes me worry a whole lot.

 

I know this is just another case that I can't do anything since I'm not the parent, but is this behavior normal? Does anybody else give their kid cough syrup to sleep? What are the effects of this?

 

I'm pretty worried and so helpless.

[southerngirl]

I have actually heard that it is against the law as it endangers the child for obvious reasons.

[jazzgirrl]

Yes..and I've heard of children dying because a parent or caregiver did this...

[Anna.]

Tell her father as soon as possible.

[Shadows Light]

A number of people have gotten into trouble for it on the news. Child-care providers. Usually its not found out until there's an over-dose or there's a fatal outcome.

 

Do people sometimes dose their children... probably. I guess if the child had a tooth coming in and couldn't sleep. Or I've heard of instances if you are "FLYING" with a child on a plane.. you might give them benedryl to calm them down.

 

However... dosing them on a consistant basis is bad news. It's going to affect the LIVER and LIVER enzymes. Not sure.. but the kid may be able to get a blood test that might show medication misuse... her liver enzymes would be sky high and full of it.

 

Just a thought. What does the father say??

[WorkNProgress]

Well I have never heard of that, but my brother when he was younger had severe ADHD. He could stay up all night long. His peditrician had him take Tylenol PM to settle him down at night.

 

Does his daughter have a hard time winding down? But giving a child an adult strength medicine is dangerous. This should be brought to your b/f attention.

[BornToResist]

Is there anything that I can do?

 

At the moment the most I can think of is to just tell her dad of the consequences and hope he does something. He frustrates me though because he'll do whatever it takes to avoid the mother and not start problems, and there's no real way to prove this is going on, except from what the little girl has said to me. He thinks the only thing he can do is bring it up in court...but then starts the court battles that last for months.

 

She is very well behaved and yes, she's what I would call "high strung," but even I never had a problem getting her to go to bed. Sometimes she's a lot to handle, but she listens very well and will try her best to be good, you know? I guess things are different at her mom's house...they fight like adults do, the little girl walks all over her mom and the mother has absolutely no control. I don't understand that though.

[coollady1957]

I have heard stories of people doing that just to put their kid to sleep so that they dont have to bother with them waking up in the middle of the night.

 

I think it is a quite dangerous thing for someone to be doing such a thing. Doping a child up with adult cough medicine is just wrong wrong wrong !!. It would be too easy to OD a small child by giving them this kind of medicine.

 

This could be child endangerment in my opinion. But thats just my 2 cents on it. It might be a thing where child services should be notified.

 

Have you mentioned this to your BF about what his daughter told you ? I think I would certainly bring it to his attention if you have not already.

[Beec]

BTR, in his case, I think talking to her father is the right thing to do, because you surely cannot talk to her mother. However, I think that right now, even talking to him is not going to get you anywhere. I won't tell you not to say anything, quite the opposite. Right now, he's probably just not the guy to stand up to his ex and tell her what she should and should not do. I hope he is soon, but I doubt he is right now. But you talking to him now will at least plant the idea in his head that his ex is not taking care of his daughter in the right way, at least in regard to this issue (and from what i know more issues).

 

Good luck.

[southerngirl]

Well, I have heard that it is child abuse to do that. In which case child services would want to be told about it.

 

That said, I have been googling to find any articles online about this and Im shocked that I havent found it.

 

Would make you scared for the girl if her mother is doing this on a regular basis. Its actually been suggested to me before to get my kids to sleep and I allways said no way.

[coollady1957]

.

 

This could be child endangerment in my opinion. But thats just my 2 cents on it. It might be a thing where child services should be notified.

 

.

 

I just reiterate what I just said before ^.

 

If this is happening nightly, or on a regular basis and this child is being given ADULT medication for sleep, then this is very dangerous to a tiny 7 year old.

 

I am not sure your boyfriend will confront the mother of this child about it.

[Shadows Light]

I have a high-strung strong willed child. And on those nights that she is bouncing off the walls... A nice warm bath with lavender soap, apply lavendar lotion to her when she's out... and a cup of warm milk and a bed time story usually does the trick.

[Shadows Light]

Talk to your boyfriend about it. Make it as casual and non-confrontational as possible. And maybe he can then bring up the subject with his daughter... in a way that won't make her think she's getting pumped. Possibly the way you did by accident. Having him clear the cubboards and put the medicine on the table and see if she says anything to him about it.

 

IF he doesn't want a long drawn up court case with costs that will stagger him... its a CHILD SERVICES thing. Get them to investigate.

 

Doing nothing about it makes you both as guilty as the mother who is dosing the child. And gosh forbid something happens to the little girl and neither of you said anything about it. You'd feel guilty for the rest of your lives.

[BellaDonna]

2 options:

 

1.) Tell her father, hopefully he'll do something about it.

 

2.) Call the school nurse at her school anonymously and let her know that you have concerns about that.

 

Perhaps the nurse can call her into the office and say that she seems "drowsy" in school and ask her if she takes anything to go to sleep at night. The school could handle it from there. They may get social services involved to look into it further.

 

If that is what is occurring, it's not only cruel, but also dangerous to her health. I can't imagine that being good for her liver, taking unnecessary medication every night!

 

 

BellaDonna

[DN]

The most important thing here is the well-being of this child and if what she is saying is true she is in some danger. Her father should be told immediately and he should then check the facts with a doctor to see what an expert says. If there is evidence that this is happening then the mother should be told to stop or CPS will be notified.

 

It may make his life difficult in dealing with the mother but that is insignificant compared to the child's health.

[coollady1957]

The most important thing here is the well-being of this child and if what she is saying is true she is in some danger. Her father should be told immediately and he should then check the facts with a doctor to see what an expert says. If there is evidence that this is happening then the mother should be told to stop or CPS will be notified.

 

It may make his life difficult in dealing with the mother but that is insignificant compared to the child's health.

 

 

I couldn't agree more with what DN just said. ^

 

This childs health should come before any difficulties it might bring by notifying the father what is going on , and letting the mother know that it must stop.

 

I find that most children this age are not going to make up something like this . I feel certain this little girl is telling exactly what is going on . Kids do that. At that age they don't realize what is being done is dangerous to them. Kids will tell any and everything, so I would trust in what this child is telling you unless otherwise proved wrong.

 

NOtify the father immediately so that this can be stopped before this little girls health suffers or worse.

[BornToResist]

The father does know about this, and he was shocked for a bit. He said he could never see a reason to do that and he was questioning her mothering abilities. That's about as far as it went.

 

I know for a fact the little girl was telling the truth. She pointed at it and said "I hate that stuff," to which I probed her a little bit. "When did you have that?," and she told me everything. I called her father into the room and she said the same thing. She was surprised to find out it was bad for her. Maybe I could just tell her that she should not be taking this and to tell her mother she doesn't want it, and tell me if it persists? But what if she doesn't...?

 

I know it's no excuse but I cannot control what he does. He already lets things go that are huge red flags to me and I think it's very wrong to let a child be under those circumstances. (She had a growth on her back that went from a freckle to a marble in a couple weeks and she was never taken to the doctor...her mom simply cut it off AND there's a history of skin cancer in the family. The dad persisted for a little bit but the mom would just say she had a dr.'s appointment in 2 weeks...2 weeks never came. I wanted to take her myself...)

 

I just don't know what to do since I am the "outsider." I feel helpless because I do not agree with their parenting, and most cases I just stay out, but here I feel her health is in danger and I can't stop thinking about these things. I love her to pieces and she relys on me for a whole lot so I feel I need to protect her, but what can I do?

 

Would they take me seriously if I called the school nurse? The mom will just say it was childrens tylenol or something while it's quite the opposite. I hate feeling helpless. My instincts are kicking in and telling me to do something, but I'm not sure of what if the mother is causing it and the father is not doing anything about it.

[BellaDonna]

She had a growth on her back that went from a freckle to a marble in a couple weeks and she was never taken to the doctor...her mom simply cut it off AND there's a history of skin cancer in the family. The dad persisted for a little bit but the mom would just say she had a dr.'s appointment in 2 weeks...2 weeks never came. I wanted to take her myself...)

 

 

Her mother does not sound like the sharpest knife in the drawer....

 

She could get a major infection from people cutting things off her body. I'm sure that hurt too.

 

I think social services needs to get involved. Maybe if you can get the school nurse to look into it- the school will follow procedure for reporting it and you won't have to be in the middle of it. Call right away and see what they advise. Ask them to keep your name out of it.

 

Poor kid.

 

BellaDonna

[doyathink]

You need to call your local CPS and report this for the childs sake. It sounds as tho there may be some neglect issues here too!

[Shadows Light]

Well since the FATHER seems to powerless, it leaves it up to you.

 

You are an adult. And I think all of us adults are charged with the moral duty to keep an eye on "ALL" of the children in our care, in our neighborhoods and communities.

 

If you suspect that a child is being Over-medicated... report it. It is your moral duty to speak for that chlid and care for her.

 

I understand that you are pregnant with your first child. Lets just say for arguments sake... that your BF and you were estranged... and he had your baby with him... where "YOU" were not around. And lets just say he was not making GOOD choices for whatever reason... ignorance or otherwise.. Would you not want, someone to step in and protect your child?????

 

Dosing a child is wrong. If the father won't do anything. YOU report it to CPS. And if he gets bent out of shape... then bully for him. He needs to step up to the plate for his first born.... as well as the one that is going to here soon.

[BornToResist]

Yeah...some people should not be parents.

 

The school nurse actually called the mother and asked about when she was going to the doctor for that growth. I think that's what prompted her to cut if off. The little girl said she cried for a little while, but she was happy it was gone. I was floored to hear this, but once again, what do I do? I seem to be the only one lathering her up with sun block. I seem to be the only one willing to fight for her.

 

But this one really got to me. I'll definitely call the school. I have the number for CPS too. I think if it came from the school it would seem like just a concerned staff member or another student's parent said something. She's not shy and will just say exactly what happened, she doesn't hide things like that. The school can also get involved if needed.

 

And you're completely right, I would want someone to say something if that was my child. Chances are my kid will be with him at some point and I won't be around...I can only hope that someone would be around who feels this way around children and SPEAKS UP. What good am I doing if I just sit on this information?

[BrokenWingedFaery]

I really hope that you'll call CPS, because schools almost never follow up past calling the parents (I've seen it plenty of times, including when I was younger and it was about me).

[coollady1957]

I just wondered how this situation is panning out. Did you make any of those phone calls to child welfare services? I have been quite concerned over this little girls welfare.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

^ Me too. What's going on BTR?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Borntoresist - I'm just catching up on all of this and I'm apalled! I hate hearing this crap sooooo bad.

 

Yes, giving a child adult cough syrup to put them to sleep is not good. I don't know about what the laws are but it is certainly dangerous. If it is NOT against the law, it should be.

 

Disgusting.

 

I know how hard these situations are tho. My sister is a meth addict and has 3 kids. We go back and forth ALL the time with how to report her, if we should, what will happen to her kids etc...

 

It's a very difficult situation. But in the end, its the kids we have to look out for.

 

Keep us posted!

 

-T