Seperated but still living together!

[ButterScotch]

Well, lets start from the beginning. First things first. I found out my husband went out on a date with another woman. What am I to think? He lied to me. We both had our get out of jail free card the last time we split up. When I found out about this one. I felt hate for him. He come's home; after being on a job in Florida, hugs me. It doesnt feel right at all. We go shopping the next day he tries to put his hand on my leg while he drives. It made me feel sick. So I told him how i felt and that I dont think this is going to work anymore cause this time we cant fix it. He packs and leave's me and our 3 year old daughter (this is what i wanted) come's back a few hours later and says he's not leaving without his daughter and I can't leave with her or he'll call the cops. Me I havent worked since I had our daughter. Right now I'm doing daycare out of my home. I want him out and I want my daughter.

I still get treated like a slave. I cook, clean, do laundry, take care of our daughter, give her her baths, change her, and read to her, i sleep on the couch, we have a spare room but he wont buy anything for me, he doesnt care till i get on my feet he says 'why should i waist my money on a woman that doesnt want to be with me'. What am i to say, besides who's fault is that? What does he do now. He's gone out or stayed out late everynight since he's been back. He tells me he doesnt care what i say. He hasnt spent a day home yet with her or even taking her out. We've been stuck in this house for a month now other then my front yard. If I dont clean the house i dont get groceries. I'm in need of clothing and I dont have the money. He wont buy it for me. What do I do, I dont know what to do anymore?

[jimthzz]

to file a preliminary order for spousal and child support.

 

Look in the phone book.

[lunatic]

Do you have any family that you and your daughter can stay with? You really need to get both of you out of there. He has no right to keep you there or even to force you to leave your daughter there. I would find a place I can stay at then try to get out of there. If he becomes a problem then you need to get the police involved so you get yourself out of that prison.

 

You do have choices but, you need to get a place to stay at for the time being as this situation is NOT healthy for you or your daughter.

 

Good luck with this sticky situation.

 

Hub

[NJRon]

The one point of advice that I have always heard is, if you are in the process of trying to proceed with a divorce, do not leave the house if you can help it. I would speak with an attorney. Even though you may not have the money for a retainer, they may work out taking their fee from the settlement. Regardless, most will at least let you know what you can do and point you in the right direction.

 

There may be low-cost/free services for you to take advantage of.

 

You are not in a very healthy situation though. If, you just can't seem to find any other way, then I agree with hubman01... you may just need to get out, however you can.

[colors]

he works? so that makes YOU the you're the primary care giver.

he cheated? that means courts would go in your favor.

 

Darling, speak to a lawyer & apply for a loan. Set yourself free! If virgina works like here, you would get primary residence & win in court. talk to a lawyer & do what you can to get out.

You CAN do this. It's the best thing for you & your daughter

[ButterScotch]

Okay to anwser your questions. No the only family I have to live with is In Washington State and Alaska. I found out from a judge that I can kick him out and he can't take my daughter from me. Best advice the judge gave me was to go file for full or joint custody. So I plan to talk to this lawyer I have found in the pages. Then when I talk to the lawyer I will go downtown to file for full or joint custody. Wish me luck guys and thank you so much for your advice and help.

[NJRon]

Best of wishes to you and let us know how it goes.

[colors]

Okay to anwser your questions. No the only family I have to live with is In Washington State and Alaska. I found out from a judge that I can kick him out and he can't take my daughter from me. Best advice the judge gave me was to go file for full or joint custody. So I plan to talk to this lawyer I have found in the pages. Then when I talk to the lawyer I will go downtown to file for full or joint custody. Wish me luck guys and thank you so much for your advice and help.

 

Good luck hun! That's the best thing you can do for you & your child. (: Stay strong!!!

[ButterScotch]

Update again..Well, thing is I haven't heard from any lawyer yet. However he tells me he has talked to one. Plus the court house. He said that as of right now he has been told that the papers still apply to him having the Primary Custody over our daughter. He also told me that I need to get out or he's going to leave and take my daughter with him. Right now, I am scared and I am breaking slowly. I dont know what to do. I dont know if its best to do what so many of my friends tell me to do or not? They say I should leave for a little while and get myself back. Get back on my feet. But the thing is I'll die not having my little girl with me. I almost did last time. I have no clue what to do..I'm about ready to tell him i'll stay with him just to be with my daughter...yeah I'll go insain and be totally and truly unhappy. What else is there to do?

[colors]

Update again..Well, thing is I haven't heard from any lawyer yet. However he tells me he has talked to one. Plus the court house. He said that as of right now he has been told that the papers still apply to him having the Primary Custody over our daughter.

 

I don't understand what that last line means? he already had papers saying he has primary custody?

What about a womens shelter? leave with your girl there...

You do need to get out of there...but I would recommend with your daughter. you have the strength within you. Stay strong. Don't cave, no good will come of that. Things will get harder before they get better, keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel.

[NJRon]

He sounds like he is just trying to manipulate you and I have never heard of a "courthouse" saying someone has papers that state he has primary custody without there even being a hearing... which, I'm sure you would remember had that taken place.

 

You do not need to leave. If he takes the daughter away from you that is kidnapping. The courts tend to frown upon kidnapping.. His "story" sounds fallacious. Don't wait to *hear from a lawyer*... go out and stop in the office and say you have an emergency and need legal advice immediately. They will make time for you.

 

Don't discuss *any* of this with him... at all... no mention of your plans and no responses to his. Do not fall for his manipulations.

[lunatic]

He sounds like he is just trying to manipulate you and I have never heard of a "courthouse" saying someone has papers that state he has primary custody without there even being a hearing... which, I'm sure you would remember had that taken place.

 

You do not need to leave. If he takes the daughter away from you that is kidnapping. The courts tend to frown upon kidnapping.. His "story" sounds fallacious. Don't wait to *hear from a lawyer*... go out and stop in the office and say you have an emergency and need legal advice immediately. They will make time for you.

 

Don't discuss *any* of this with him... at all... no mention of your plans and no responses to his. Do not fall for his manipulations.

 

I totally agree with Ron on this one. You need legal advice right away!

[DizzyDoris]

Poor you, keep strong you WILL get through this. Take your daughter and go to a hostel like colors said. DONT leave your daughter behind with this horrible man. All the best, my thoughts are with you x

[lonesomelady]

this guy is a loser and a cheap man. how can he ever treat somebody that way. I mean afterall you were his wife and this child with him!

what kind of lowly person can he be? one thing you must make sure is that he should not get custody of daughter-get a grip on yourself and get a job to support yourself and move out. show him tha you dnt need to depend on him anymore.

 

be stronger than ever for your daughter!