keeping a convo going

[lonelyguy]

So im a few weeks into college and I notice that I seem to make aquaintances but not friends. I mean I'ved talk to people, introduced ourselves, where we're from, what classes we're taking, all those basic questions. Afterwords however it just dies out. I noticed this happens alot and I'm not really sure what to do because it would be nice to make some friends and meet a girl but im not really sure how to keep things going at all, especially if it were to be with someone I might want to go out with. Could someone help me pleeeease?

[friscodj]

Questions. Ask her questions, something about her you notice that stands out, something about the surroundings, something you have in common (e.g., a class together, mutual friends, etc.) and listen to what she says...which will generate more questions and subsequent answers and there you go...

[lonelyguy]

If its someone you causually see all the time like in a class or club would that make things harder if she rejects you? Wouldn't there be like awkward moments?

[sumguy]

If its someone you causually see all the time like in a class or club would that make things harder if she rejects you? Wouldn't there be like awkward moments?

Possibly, but you can't win a race if you don't risk losing.

[friscodj]

If its someone you causually see all the time like in a class or club would that make things harder if she rejects you? Wouldn't there be like awkward moments?

 

You mean if she "rejects" talking to you by not showing interest? Not responding to your efforts to talk to her? Straight blowing you off?

 

If so, I don't think there would be seriously awkward moments because you have nothing invested in this besides being attracted to her and the idea of falling in love with her... Maybe at first if she does reject you, but it will go away...

 

But don't focus on rejection. Actually, don't focus on anything but talking to her like you would anyone else...

[Limerick]

You determine how awkward it will be if she 'rejects' you. If you act like nothing happened and not make a big deal of it, things will go fine. If you act all weird around her they won't.

[atraceofblood]

what kinda things do you laugh at? Maybe try joking around with some of the women in class. For me, I'd probably act like an idiot and throw out stupid jokes like if a girl got an A on the midterm, I'd tell her she's too smart and should teach me something, or something along those lines. I'd only say that if I felt more comfortable around her though. If she was always mute and hard to talk to, it would be really hard to joke, lol.

 

Just try talking to them as if they were your friends. I've noticed this method has helped me so much, and I've been able to be myself around the girls.

[MetallicAguy]

I think that you should maybe work on your sense of humor, your comfortability with your surroundings, and how outgoing you are, after a good amount of efforts been put in, you should be making friends pretty fast. And since you've already made acquiantances you have something to work on . And if you can make friends using those attributes and just being yourself, meeting girls isn't much harder than making friends.

 

good luck

[TheRedQueen]

Ask her what her favorite color is. A guy has never asked me this, but if he had, I would be intrigued. Plus it's a silly and random question, sure to evoke a smile or a laugh.

[gotSPL]

Ask her what her favorite color is. A guy has never asked me this, but if he had, I would be intrigued. Plus it's a silly and random question, sure to evoke a smile or a laugh.

 

I ask that girl that today. She didnt smile. Instead she looked at me like what are you talking about? That confused look. Man do I feel weird.

[charley]

Questions. Ask her questions, something about her you notice that stands out, something about the surroundings, something you have in common (e.g., a class together, mutual friends, etc.) and listen to what she says...which will generate more questions and subsequent answers and there you go...

 

Bingo. I agree totally.

[charley]

Possibly, but you can't win a race if you don't risk losing.

 

Awesome post because it's so true.

 

I'll add one: You can't get a hit if you don't swing. Sometimes a swing gets a hit, sometimes a strike, but really what choice do you have but to try?

[charley]

I ask that girl that today. She didnt smile. Instead she looked at me like what are you talking about? That confused look. Man do I feel weird.

 

I like that favorite color one and I do ask women that often, but not necessarily because I'm hitting on them. Often I just want to know because I'm color sensitive and curious. Actually, I can often guess her favorite color based on what she wears over a week or so. Now here's a thought, if I see she wears the same colors I do, then I'm guessing we have some color tastes in common.

 

If she doesn't even want to talk about a color, then I'm thinking she's a right-off and you should give up on her and try agan later with someone else. If a woman won't even talk about something as non-threatening as her fav color, then I think she doesn't doesn't want to talk at all, or not to that guy. No matter. There's many other women in the world.

[NoComply]

good example.

i got a job at the same place as my gf.

we then boroke up about a month later.

she acted like we didnt know eachother outside the job and i was weird.

now we barely talk, even at work. cos she just acts like we barely know eachother.

 

yet when she has a problem with something or needs advice about something to do with her life, she asks my opinion about it.

 

its rather odd. but funny i guess

[gotSPL]

She's your frienemy.

[TheRedQueen]

She's your frienemy.

I like it!!!

[TheRedQueen]

I ask that girl that today. She didnt smile. Instead she looked at me like what are you talking about? That confused look. Man do I feel weird.

My bad.

[charley]

good example.

i got a job at the same place as my gf.

we then boroke up about a month later.

she acted like we didnt know eachother outside the job and i was weird.

now we barely talk, even at work. cos she just acts like we barely know eachother.

 

yet when she has a problem with something or needs advice about something to do with her life, she asks my opinion about it.

 

its rather odd. but funny i guess

 

When she asks for your opinion, ask, "Do I know you?" and act serious about it. Also, feel free to yawn in her presense when it's just the two of you to indicate the full extent of your boredom with her.

[charley]

For NoComply:

 

I had a woman friend who for whatever reason stopped taking my calls for 2 weeks. So I wrote her off. About 2 weeks after that she started calling me. I haven't returned her calls in 3 weeks now. I don't know if I ever will. We'll see.

 

One thing that really gets under a woman's skin is being ignored. It doesn't matter if she did it first, or not, she still dislikes it.

 

My point is that your X is nothing and you should treat her as nothing. She deserves it after how she's treated you. The yawning is just to add some insult to her injury of being ignored. She's got it coming.

 

The thing is to be casual about it so it looks like you're not doing it on purpose. Then it's more effective at tearing down her ego, which is exactly what your X deserves.

[NoComply]

might try that one =]