I'm confused

[Crazyhorse]

I don't really know where to start, I'm so confused. I met this girl on the internet and we live in different countries. We spoke for ages and got on amazingly and eventually we met up at a place in between the two of us. We

spent two weeks together and we both said they were best two weeks we've had. Everything was just right. We clicked straight away, we just seem perfect matches and I can honestly say I've totally fallen in love and she says the same. Since we've been back we talk every spare moment we get and have been planning for her to come and live with me. It does seem crazy and I'd have never imagined this would happen to me but I'm a sensible guy and this just feels right.

 

Now, here's the catch. She's very troubled emotionally and is going through various things. A couple of times before she has had problems and she can't deal with things and has talked about ending the relationship. She says

she loves me but can't handle not being together and doesn't want to hurt me with her erratic behaviour. She thinks I can do better. Each time we've talked and sorted it out.

 

Last night we were talking and everything was good. I woke this morning to find a text saying she can't do it, it's too much for her and she loves me but she's sorry. I've tried phoning and texting her but she's not responding. I

am prepared to wait for her until she's maybe more stable (because she definitely will be in time) but it seems she can't handle that, she either wants everything now or for me to forget her and move on. She's saying she can't

handle the moving here while she is like she is. I'm just so confused and so hurt right now. All I want is for us to be together. Why can't things be simple? I know that she does feel how she says about me, 90% of the time it's her who instigates phone calls, IM conversations etc. I don't know how to handle this.

[southerngirl]

Welcome to enotalone!

 

Im sorry that your going through this. Sounds rough. What is it that she is going through? How old is she?

 

Without further info, all I can say is continue to be there for her as a friend. See where it leads.

[4ever]

i am in an ldr too, its been years (u dont wanna know how long) and its still not going pretty much anywhere far from visiting, all got to do with money and rules between different countries.

I had the same happen to my bf when he would say the same things your gf did, it happened a few times.

I never said or thought that, no matter how hard it is i know if i love the person i can handle anything. So made me doubt his love, but then it was like he was just too stressed at those moments.

I still dont know where we are going, i mean we have plans but they are not easy and im afraid of him to break like that again.

LDR is very hard and not for everyone.

I wish you good luck with her and hope you work things out.

[Crazyhorse]

I'm 27 and she's 33. She's had a really rough time all her life and has had depression problems, been mistreated etc. She's having problems with medication withdrawels at the moment that are making her sick. She's got self esteem problems as well. She's actually, since my first post, sent me a message telling me not to call her. Says she can't do it because she'll only end up hurting me and that I'd be better off finding a girl who deserves me.

It really hurting because she's the most amazing, beautiful, fantastic girl I've ever met and all I want is to be with her and be there for her. I don't think she even wants to just stay friends, she says she couldn't handle just being friends.

[sparkle1]

Give her time.

 

She is clearly struggling with her emotions and how she is feeling at the moment. And many people try and push people away to stop them selves hurting that person - or getting hurt further. Perhaps this is a test (not a conscience one) to see if you will still be there....??

 

I think what you have sounds amazing. Try not to give up hope. Some people just need time to come to terms with things and she obviously has a lot happening in her life at the moment.

 

The distance probably isn't helping -as she may be frightened of moving? That said i still think you should hang on in there. Remember, some times only that person can work throu their problems.

 

Reply to the text "i will wait for you...i love you and will be here, when you're ready"....no pressure. Direct and to the point. Then its a waiting game, but if fate wants you to be - you'll be.

 

X

[Crazyhorse]

Thanks for the replies. I replied to her before your reply but I put a very similar thing. She replied a bit later apologising for going off on one. We've talked about it and come to a decent solution. Before we actually try to move together she's going to move somewhere nearer me with her friend. This'll take off a lot of pressure and she'll only be 2 hours away from me instead of about 26. We're both really happy now and I really think this could work out.

[dance]

go to her. don't write, call email. if you really want her move heaven and earth for her. much simpler, move yourself there.

 

seriously.

[vesper]

go to her. don't write, call email. if you really want her move heaven and earth for her. much simpler, move yourself there.

 

seriously.

 

that's good advice. actions speak louder than words.