am i not sexually attractive?

[totally depressed n confus]

My boyfriend...well now ex(wants to work it out).....would NEVER b romantic. Not even tell me happy anniversary!!! nothing! plus i could wear lingerie in front of him n he couldnt even get an erection! I mean I do ALL the work sexually.........ALL the work. He doesnt touch me much or mak me feel sexy. I take my own clothes off or not at all. When im naked i dont find him paying much attention to me at all. So i feel embarrassed to take my clothes off in front of him n were together for 3 years! I mean, i have to give him oral to make him hard most of the time and hes always watching porn or some disgusting videos with chicks in thongs. It's like, I must not be attractive to him right? I dont understand. He never compliments me unless were far apart...in dif states. Then he tell me he thinks im beautiful and sexy but he still never buys me lingerie or even gets excited if i try to put it on. It has my self esteem very low. but other men find me very attractive. I dont get it ???? Does all this mean he isnt sexually attracted to me??? cuz he said it doesnt!

[InaneCathode]

Well, he's lying. He obviously doesnt find you attractive and would rather watch smut films instead of a woman who's willing to do everything for her man.

Dump the pig, and find a guy who can appreciate you.

[SarahRose]

It sounds like he has some problems. Why are you two thinking about getting back together?

 

I would forget about him and find a man who adores you in every way.

 

My body is far from perfect but my man frequently has an erection from just being around me.

[arwen]

If he's not attracted to you anymore, that says nothing about how attractive you are, hun. It can happen in relationships that the sparkle just disappears, and that there is no chemistry left. When the 'being in love' changes into a sort of brother-sister or friend relationship, and not to 'loving', it means that it's probably time to move on. I don't think there is anything that can be worked out here, unless there are other conflicts in the relationship that make him lose his libido. But I doubt that that is the case. This is causing a low self-esteem in you, and you are now broken up. I really think it's better to cut all ties, heal, endulge yourself and move on from him.

 

Ilse

[totally depressed n confus]

he totally used 2 b attracted to me. but then i lost weight n now he likes me with my clothes on it seems. his friends all tell him and me that im too hot for him sooo.....its not making any sense to me!!! i mean im not perfect but noone is. i just feel as tho its me not him. he just wont leave alone now that were broken up n i know i shouldnt b with him again but i feel like i should work out n have the best body n let him b mad. cuz hes extremely over weight n im 5'5'' 140pounds! im scared now to enjoy sex n cant feel sexy anymore

[arwen]

Hunny, I think HE feels unattractive about himself. If you were both overweight, and you lost the extra pounds and he didn't, his friends keep telling him that you are too hot for him, well that is not exactly good for his ego. But it's not your task to 'fix' that, his issues with his self-esteem are his to resolve. I'd stay friends if you're up for it, or otherwise do NC for a while until he has a healthy self-image.

[Beec]

Well, to me, it sounds like this guy has a porn addiction. A guy who always watches it, and cannot get it up for normal sexual activity, and is not motivated to engage in it, that sounds very much like a guy who is addicted to porn and yanking his own crank. Before he is worth dating, he had better give up the porn.

 

However, a woman who complains that a guy does not buy her lingerie, and then doesn't buy some. He's just dumb.

[snowgirl]

I am sorry you are automatically thinking that there's something wrong with YOU. It's not you, it's him. As the others have said, move on. You deserve a lot better than that.

[sparkle1]

Here's a thought.

 

When you were a bit bigger - he was 'safe' Now you are a hottie, you will at some point question what you are doing with him? If he knocks your self esteem and confidence as low as possible - what chance is there of you even noticing another man?

 

I would hedge my bets - this man has MASSIVE insecurites.

 

Get rid...and find someone who loves you for you. No matter what you look like!!

 

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