I want him back!

[agent1607307371]

Yes.

 

Maybe write him a letter - but don't put any of the blame on him. Explain your actions and apologise. Let him know that you will work on yourself.

 

Then don't contact him. Absolutely nothing. Maybe have friends let him know that you want him back but are leaving the ball in his court.

 

I can't tell you how completely painful and destructive being cheated on is but right now you have to respect his desire to be alone to heal and not try to cheat him of that time.

 

It may be painful for you to leave him be, but by contacting him you are hurting him more and making him feel disrespected. Take the time to work out what you want and work on your own life. If he comes back to you, then maybe you will both have more to offer your relationship and be stronger for it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

What I often see on this board with regards to cheating is that the initial reaction of the person who was cheated on is to hold on to the relationship. They are still in shock over the betrayal and want to do everything to salvage the relationship. It is only after some time that the person is able to process the information and that is when they take a giant step back and say "wait a minute, why did I accept this behaviour". That is when they need to time to sort out their feelings. You need to give him that time. He needs to sort out other things as well...being able to be more responsible.

When two people really love each other, they will work things out. I don't believe "once a cheater always a cheater". People can change if they want to. Just hang in there.

[Rabican]

You cheated on him, that would have hurt. You called him lazy and feeble-minded, that would have hurt. He breaks up with you so he can sort through his issues with you, and you don't want to give him the luxury?

 

Maybe I'm young and inexperienced, and maybe because I'm male I'm identifying with the other side, but give the poor guy some room to heal! You basically ripped your fiance's heart out...

 

 

Uhm ya,,, what he said. Your man wasnt good enough for you... which had to hurt your man. Then you went and found another, and when that didnt work out you wanted the old man back... take me back now!!! no you arent allowed to think about it! just take me back. Uhm.. no.

 

Dudes probably all messed up in the head right now, unsure if you ever really loved him at all, wondering why you want him back, probably just thinking that you want to be back together because it fell through with the new guy. Wondering if you are gonna cheat on him the next time you think hes lazy.

 

Tell him how you feel, apolagize like theres no tomorrow for what you did. And tell him you understand how badly you ripped his heart out, and that when hes ready, if hes ready you will be there for him. In the meantime, dont date anyone else, dont talk to the other guy, and if you do get back together with him NEVER talk to the new guy again. You have to SHOW your fiance, that you wont ever do this again, not just tell him it wont happen.

[Rabican]

So does that mean I cant call him at all. Am I supposed to go days and days and weeks upon weeks without talking to him?

 

pretty much what it means... ya.

 

Call him once, or preferably send him a handwritten letter, along with a nice card about how sorry you are, and that when he is ready, even if it isnt anytime soon you will be there for him.

[youngstar62]

It wasn't that things fell through with the new guy. As a matter of fact the new guy knew I was engaged when we first met and now that he knows my fiance and I have broken up he wants to be with me. But I dont want to be with him because i finally realized that no one is ever going to love me like he did. We were inseperable for 7 months and as soon as i cheated we fell apart, but it wasnt because I didnt love him, I just couldnt stand to be around him knowing what i did and knowing how much it would hurt him if he knew.

[yeawutever]

Youngstar sorry to hear you got bashed before and I believe this is not what you asked for, else you wouldn't be posting here.

I would say he need to be patient and give him time. For now he needs to think and sort down the issues, esp. trust issues. As the saying goes can be either your best friend or your worst enemy". So you don't mind if I asked you "What really lead to the cheating"??, was it something that you wanted to long talked about with him but couldn't for whatever reason or was it sudden wilderness (hormones) and likes for other guys??

[motog]

When you share intimate moments with another then you forgot the person you love and what devastation long or short term it would cause to him or didnt care .That he may never look at you the same way again. it eats us inside . you have remorse it seems but he will be shattered inside i bet . how do you mend that with your guilt?

stay safe