Living Alone - What Are The Joys?

[Chibby33]

I immediately jumped in a relationship 2 months after I separated from my husband. That was a year and a half ago - we have on child. A month ago my fiance packed and left and I am afraid of being alone in the house. Even though my daughter is around, when she goes out to play with her friends, there's this emptiness and fear because I am alone in the house.

 

Is anybody out there living alone in a house? Do you like it? Help me cope.

[WorkNProgress]

Your the first mother that I have ever heard say they are lonely when their kids are out playing. I know most mothers and fathers for that matter would LOVE the quiet time. Take on some household projects. If you think paint might personalize or brighten up the house start room by room. Painting is something that will keep you busy. Do you have any hobbies? Sewing, knitting, painting?? If not try your hand at it. You could really start making the house your own.

 

Just some ideas.

[markfromark]

I am living alone in my house and it took me about 5 month to be able to stay at home by myself. I did go out and spent time with other people all the time because I could not stay at home. In my case there is still all of her stuff lying around which makes it even harder.

[NJRon]

Nothing felt emptier than the house I lived in after a (then current) girlfriend and her daughter left it at the beginning of the winter. I, luckily, had a wonderful pet dog to keep me some company.

 

It takes some time to get used to. However, you have your daughter to look after and you can focus on giving her the warmth and companionship she deserves.

 

In the meantime, I would look to re-arrange the household. New decorations. Do things that will try and change it to *you and your daughter's* new home.

 

I assume that your daughter is of your ex husband if she is old enough to go out and play. Try setting some time aside to do some projects in the house to re-decorate it together. Good mother/daughter bonding time.

 

As for the feelings... they can pass... it is not just the house.. it is your emotional loss. You can move and make a new home if you feel you must. That's what I ended up doing for myself... but, I probably wouldn't have, had I had someone to shake it up a bit with me

[Chibby33]

The first day he packed and left, I ran to IKEA and redecorated my house. You are correct NJ, I need to make it "mine and my daughter's home." Funny because when my fiance was still around, I imagined being just me and my daughter, dreaming of the two of us in bed together. The relationship was emotionally draining for me - he was always coming up with an argument, the sulking, the drama, etc. I guess I got my wish as painful as it is to get it.

 

The first 2 weeks, I hated coming home and being alone. I cried like a little girl. But now after receiving closure from him, my house has become a safe domain for me again. Yes, it's my house and it's where my daughter will grow and we'll fill it everyday with love. This morning I started cleaning the family room - man it felt good!

[NJRon]

I know that, in her heart, my ex wanted a home for her and her daughter. Which is why, when she moved, I encouraged her to get her own place and make it so. She tells me that it feels like "home" now... so... there is some good to come out of it.

 

Keep on keeping on... look to your relationship with your daughter and not so much to other ones right now... in time, it will be all you wanted and more

[qwertie]

Yes, what exactly are the joys of being alone?

 

I'm trying to discover that myself. It's the first time in all 35 years that I find myself alone, no children, no pets. Being alone is not really my cup of tea.

 

I am looking forward to getting my own apartment though and looking forward to all the time I will spend making it my own, it should get me right into the new year

[redrose85]

There are joys, and sorrows that come with living alone. I recently moved out on my own for the first time (before that I lived with an ex for close to three years, and for the past year with room-mates) I thought I would be terrified at night, but I feel safe in my new place, even all alone. I can't wait to decorate it, make it mine, and fill it with all things "ME" that's gotta be the best part. Then there was the day I found myself home alone, my books all read, no tv yet, not much of anything to do, and everyone else at work or school. I felt incredibly lonely that day. But for the most part, I'm enjoying it. You will get used to it soon enough, and will be able to make a home for you and your daughter. Best of luck!