LDR gone bad

[DV82]

Hi all,

 

this is my first post to the forum - i just want to know if someone has gone through the situation i'm currently in. I know that my relationship is over, i guess this is just a way for me to vent and get some unbiased opinions.

 

My relationship started almost 4 years ago in college, me and mary met but came from two different locations - she california and me massachusetts. While at school we always hung out together, almost inseparable. We almost never fought (assuming because of the distance). Come graduation she decided to go to grad school in NYC-i'm thinking great close enough so i can see her since i started work in Boston.

 

She spent the last year in NYC and i was in Boston - i was her emotional support during this time since she was alone in the city. Beginning of the summer she started interning at a new job and made a new set of friends. Her roomie from college was also moving into the city.

 

3 months into my new job, i earned the oppurtunity to move to NYC which i saw as a oppurtunity to get close. She never said don't come, but at the same time i wasn't feeling the "oh my god, we can finally be steady together without being long distant!"

 

I arrived and honestly the first 2 weeks were miserable - she was ditching me out of her apartment after a days of work and the 4th time she did it i told her i was going to stay at a hotel and she showed little concern other than the fact that i pick up when she called later that night. I couldn't believe it.

 

She went away for two weeks and i figured i'd show some hard love, try to make her realize i wouldn't be treated like this. I found out "by mistake" that she had been writing to some guy and sending some pictures to him who she met while she was away. i didn't want to confront her right away on it...

 

When she came back, we made love and then she told me she felt nothing. That was a stab to the heart - so then i confronted her about the other man which she hadn't expected.

 

Long story short, she told me all she does is think about this guy- we havent talked in over a week and i feel she's made a joke of our history together. The emotional support i thought she would have given me while new to a city was not to be found, all i found was someone different than i remembered. She said she was confused but now on her myspace account she has a picture of this guy and officially "single." This is my horror story-i made a leap of faith and she took advantage of me. My lover. My bestfriend. How can someone turn like this? I don't understand after so many years how someone can change. She says that she never told me to come to NYC which hurts even more. Ironicaly she now prefers a long distance relationship with a guy from home than one with me. There were many harsher things she said to me but it would take me all night to explain my emotional stress i've gone through the last month. Has anyone ever gone through this?

[robowarrior]

This is what you get for 'expecting things' in life. Because you would be much better off with an attitude off 'hope for the best, expect the worst' attitude, because at least your more expecting and could prepare for when the 'nightmare' scenario like you had did unveil. I would just forget about it as much as you can , and take these harsh life lessons with you in the future. I think you should have communicated more too, something like' would you like me to come to nyc? Read the signs, if she's not enthousiastic , you'd be better of to be more cautious, look i know what it is to have your heart broken, and i assure you that your better off with a woman who considers you as her nr.1 and vice versa. Now its time for you to pick up the shattered pieces of your heart, glue them back together again and let time heal your heart. Don't go swallow yourself up in some room crying, take the power of your life back where it belongs namely in YOUR hands, and make the best of your life. More chances in the future, more fish in the sea, move on.

[Rabican]

be glad at least that you found out now, and not another 4 years down the road. You deserve better, she knew you were coming to see her, and shes working another guy and doesnt even have the respect or cahones to tell you... shes trash as far as I can tell from this post. Move on, dont look back... find someone better.