Losing my mind over this woman

[JSHRN]

For the past 6 months I've been friends with Allison. Actually our friendship was only saying Hi at work and occasional casual conversation. Last month she asked me out. She said she had her eye on me for a while and wanted to get to know me better. We have become more friendly and I've developed some strong feelings for her. She says she's not ready for a serious relstionship yet (neither am I) but our conversations are very personal. We've talked about going away for trips and have even talked of travelling together next year with our job.

 

However, we see more of each other at work than outside of work. I've told her I wish we could spend more time together. Maybe I'm overreacting but I get uncomfortable around her sometimes because I want to say what's on my mind. I'm very open and honest with her but when I ask for feedback from her she says that she's not use to talking in a relationship. Eventhough I know she likes me I feel that my feelings are stronger for her than hers are for me.

 

I haven't been in a serious relationship in 6 years. I have a good friendship with her and hadn't thought about dating her until she asked me out. Now, I've left myself vulnerable. It bothers me that she spends more time with her friends than she does with me.

 

Any thoughts? I've gotten myself "love sick" over her and I don't know what to do. I told her I'd take a step back from things but that's not what she wants. It seems she wants to be with me on her terms.

 

Help!

[slider]

JSHRN,

 

You need to relax a little on the pressure. Maybe you should read some of the articles on this site about dating. Women are attracted to men who don't slobber over them every chance they get. Play a little hard to get sometimes. The next time she asks you to do something with her make yourself unavailable and don't call her for a few days. The element of surprise and unpredicability will knock some sense into her. Women are attracted to that. Right now she's controlling you and toying with your emotions. It's called the TEASE and it's working on you to perfection. Stop chasing her, let her chase you.

[Kitty2010]

You know, some women like to be seduced and until you show that you're assertive and confident we just wont pay attention. Read articles on why girls often fall for bad boys and you'll see why this is true.

 

Be confident, look her in the eye, tell her exactly what you want and how she is going to react (not how you want her to react), we ladies will often melt with that sort of passion.

 

Do some research, and you'll see what I mean.

 

Kitty