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Soooo Nervous I just want to die


LostInMyThoughts
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I don't know why I get so nervous about calling girls.

 

So in my previous thread I wrote about getting a coworkers phone number after asking her out on saturday.

 

I just called and I was super nervous. She was on the phone, so I ended up getting her voice mail so I left a message. I plan on calling her once more, later on, even though I had left a voice mail. If she doesn't pick up or respond, then I'll take the hint and move on.

 

I start thinking things like "maybe she sent me to voice mail to avoid talking to me."

 

Why am I so nervous? Why do I torture myself like this?

 

On a more positive note, I have a date with someone else on sunday.

 

Still I'm freaking out and I don't want to.

 

Help!!

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It's totally normal to get nervous, totally. One thing that has worked for me is I will get immersed in some other project, my mind totally on that, when I'll think about calling the woman in question. Right when that switch in thought happens, I call. Boom, just do it right there quickly. I find I can sort of get ahead of the nervousness like this...

 

And I think it is good to leave a voice mail message the first time. A lot of people I know won't answer the phone if the caller ID shows an unfamilair number. So leave a short, brief message, let her know who you are, remind her how you guys met, leave your number, then get out of there. The less you say the better I think at that point.

 

Then you leave it. No more calls, nothing. Maybe one email if you have address in case of the highly unlikely event that she didn't get your voice message. Then it is up to her...

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Lost, you continually amaze me.

I always though you were fearless, but now I see you're just braver than me.

 

Haha, thanks I think.

 

I am definitely afraid of rejection, and I'm still afraid of getting hurt like I did with my divorce.

 

I really just needed someone to talk to, so I'm really glad you all took the time to respond.

 

I get really hyper when I'm super elated, so I just go done playing DDR, to burn that extra energy.

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It's all normal

 

I'm glad to see that all is good now.

 

As Friscodj said, do something else to occupy your time, and then just CALL HER...us men are like on off switches, if you half turn a switch on, it can often crackle and carry on stupidly (which is dangerous mind you), so if we try to slowly turn on, we end up getting this crackling thing going on.

 

Now to translate that.

 

The longer we take to call (turning the switch on), the more nervous we get, until eventually, something might blow and we turn back off again and not call.

 

I find myself getting VERY nervous over calling someone up, my body just instantly gets nervous....but if I just call the person, It's too late, time to suck it up, close my eyes, take a deep breath, and JUST DO IT.

 

When waiting, you create tension, it's like preparing to perform infront of a large audience your very first time...beforehand, you are nervous as hell, and when you get out there...it's like "WOW!, i'm actually doing this...ok, no backing out now", alot of people even cry from this tension....but if they JUST DID IT, straight from the word GO, they would of been much better off.

 

Tell me...did you feel alot better once you called her?

and did you call her a 2nd time and it felt easier?

 

It just takes practise, and really...we are all afraid of rejection and embarrassment, so it's perfectly normal to be nervous over that factor.

 

Good luck with the date

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