I'm not sure how i should be feeling about this...

[Kairi]

Hi,

 

Well to start, i've never posted on a forum for advice before. However i do know that there may be a lot of fakes out there who create proposterous stories (not that mine is unbelievable or anything, im just saying). Nonetheless i am a real person, and i seek real advice.

 

Here's my situation.

 

I broke up my my boyfriend of 2 years a few months ago, and we've been super cool with each other. We consider ourselves to be best friends now, always hanging out and such.

 

Now he's beginning to like someone, and is considering dating her which is fine. Thing is... she is exactly like me. Same hobbies, same talents, same interests, same ambitions, same neighborhood, even the same hair as me.

 

I was at first ok with the idea of him dating someone else so soon...but someone who is me with another face? I feel like thats...kinda wrong.

 

but i dont know. I'm really hurt, but im not sure why and if i even should be at all.

 

please, someone tell me something.

[Closure]

Theres nothing really to say Kairi.

 

You'd feel this way if she were green and had three heads.

 

I think because you've remained friends some of hurt maybe didn't get processed and now you're face with this.

 

I admire that you've stayed friends, I know I never could.

 

Cheer up, your life is ahead of you, you are going to meet someone new soon and he'll probably feel the same thing.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Hi Kairi,

 

Sorry to hear that you're upset - and I can understand that it must seem so weird to you that he has met someone who is so like you. That's horrible for you, and must feel a bit of a kick in the teeth, especially as you've remained friends. But then again, was it an amicable split?

 

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is that I always thought that the men I've dated/fancied/gone out with are completely different. And they are - but they also have a superficial resemblance which I have never realised until someone pointed it out to me!! I swear I didn't think I had a type, and I don't as such, but there are some similarities in a lot of the men I've really liked (tall, slim, dark and gentle). I think it's coincidence - because they *are* very different. And yet. I don't know. So what I'm saying is that it might be a coincidence, that he finds your physical type very attractive, and hence the similarity? Please don't be hurt by it though - maybe this shows that you two aren't really in a place to be pals just yet?

[pretty girl digs graves]

I think maybe you are missing something more important - maybe part of his choice is choosing a healthy partner. What I mean by that is someone who is brave enough to tackle their demons and do the right thing. When you meet someone that has learned from their past and is making corrections, I think you should go for it. Maybe that's what's happened.

[Kairi]

Wow, thanks everyone for the speedy replies.

 

 

Well, he was hanging out with his exgirlfriend a lot after we broke up. That never bothered me. He even told me he would hook up with her, and i said go for it if the moment comes. He appreciated that i was acting like a friend, not another jelous exgirlfriend.

 

and now? it just seems weird to me... as his girlfriend he made me feel so unique. He told me how different i was from other girls and thats why he fell inlove with me. To him, i wasn't a "type", i was one of a kind.

 

And i know he's not the type to just tell me what i want to hear. Two years is a long time to be with someone, and we were good friends before that too.

[rmpavlock]

I guess that you just have to remember why you broke up with him in the first place. That's pretty amazing that you two have stayed friends, but I agree that it might take a little longer to get over it if you still talk all the time. Definitely remember that there are other fish in the sea.