long-term relationships

[cinderelly65]

is it possible to be in a long-term relationship and have your significant other not care about you or love you?

[shes2smart]

If your SO didn't care about you or love you, why on earth would you stay with them?

 

Only reason I can come up with is if large sums of money are involved...but personally, you couldn't pay me enough.....

[gattsuga]

The answer is no. I know a lot of moms/dads who are married and it looks like they hate each other. Do you really want to end up like that? I sure don't.

[laboheme]

Well...yes and no. YES, because you can stay with a person who doesn't love you for any number of reasons, including money, habit, fear of being alone, simply not caring to change things...You can share a life with them...but NO, because the question is, is that a relationship or just cohabitation???

[g44]

it doesn't make any sense and would only cause more problems. it takes two to keep a relationship of any kind so i would suggest you both just talk about it, honestly and move on.

[arwen]

Of course you can. But not if you want to be happy and have a fulfilling relationship. Why do you ask? Are you in a relationship where you know the other person doesn't love you?

 

Ilse

[cinderelly65]

i was in a long-term relationship where i wasn't exactly sure if the guy loved me or not. somethings he did were good somethings not so good, it was quite confusing. but often i wondering what was his intent or true feelings for me.

[AzureSkyes69]

Yes I think you can...but I really don't think it is a good idea,after all doesn't everybody want somone to love and care for them? it is all pretty senseless without love and caring if you ask me.

[g44]

the question was this..."is it possible to be in a long-term relationship and have your significant other not care about you or love you?"

 

i am assuming that u mean, you are in a long-term relationship, and feel like the other doesn't care or love u. if that is the case, there is one simply solution - just talk to him/her about it. if u are feeling any doubt it is best to address it now before things get bad. communication is key. and no-one should stay in a relationship that is only one-sided. best of luck.

[Dako]

Sure you can. Why not?

Lots of folks are in this sort of one-way relationship for convenience, money, sex, security etc. I'd venture a guess that it's even more common for couples with no love for each other to spend their lives in that rut.

 

The cure is obvious, but they seem to get something from it.

[Grokker]

Yes it is possible. I think it happens a lot.

 

People stay together just out of inertia, out of resistance to change in their lives, because it's easier than doing anything else and they're used to the routine. Only when the pain of staying with someone becomes worse than the fear of a huge life change, do those kinds of relationships actually break up.

 

The longer a loveless relationship has gone on, the more the chance that it will keep going on in the same vein... unless some major outside catalyst comes into the picture, such as one of the partners falling in love with somebody else.

[melrich]

I agree it is very common. There are millions of married couples out there that just go through the motions of being a couple. Mainly they stay together for security or money or the kids or to keep up appearances or a combination of any.

 

It is very common. Some even make it all the way.

[Dako]

Ironically, these marriages pass the statistics test as being "successful."

[Japanfreak05]

If your SO didn't care about you or love you, why on earth would you stay with them?

 

Pretty blunt but very true.

 

Once you reach a certian point in a relationship, the possibility of them leaving you becomes less. You become really close and it takes a lot to break you appart. You get to the point where you really don't want to go through finding someone else, letting them meet your parents, going through another relationship. Just my opinion tho, I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, and that's how I feel.

[Momene]

It's more than possible to love someone when you meet but then life changes and you both change and you no longer love the person that you're with. Alternatively, you still genuinely love them but problems appear that mean either/both of you are not as happy as you were when you first met.

 

I'll admit that my daughter was the main reason I was prepared to ride out a rough patch but it was also because we love each other, despite the difficulties we've had (and still do to some extent).

 

I'm definitely thinking that many people with no commitment to each other are clinging onto bad relationships when they don't need to.