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Rant/Vent...taking a deep breath now!

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Hi all,


Just a friendly venting of something that just happened. So, I have been officially NC from my ex since Feb of this year. She became born again Christian and dumped me for my religious views. She strung me along for 6 months until she decided to do NC.


Anyway, recently I began browsing online and came accross a few girls I wouldnt mind talking to on Myspace. I IMed them and we have been talking for a couple of weeks now. A couple of the girls I have a lot in common with. I have been talking almost every day to one girl and have been enjoying our conversations. Recently, our discussions turned to religion. We talked about the churches we go to and began discussing our faiths.


She brought up the name of the church she goes to. It's the same church my ex goes to. Uh oh, I thought. Oh well, it's a big church with hundreds of members. Then she tells me of the tuesday night Bible study group she goes to. Uh oh, I thought. My ex goes to that study group. Oh well, I admire a woman with dedicated convictions and values. We keep talking...


Then I bring up my more specific views on religion and the whole tolerance thing. I explained how I see all religions as having their own value and worth and we should tolerate all viewpoints and live together. My view = many paths to God. I just read her reply to that email and it basically said word for word the argument my ex gave me as she broke up with me: that the Bible is God's word and there is no deviation, no intrepretation and the only way to salvation is through Jesus...because afterall, the Bible says so. Her view = One path to God...all others go to hell.


Bam!! Wammy!! Slap!!


Here was my response...


"Well, it's been really fun talking to you but I don't think we have enough in common to continue our communications. I'm going to remove you as a friend. I hope you don't take offense. Please take care of yourself and try to keep an open heart and open mind through life. God bless!"


I believe in God. I believe in Jesus...but I just dont see that one religion has the market cornered on God. I don't want to turn this into a religious tolerance debate. I just wanted to rant a bit. My ex threw away an amazing relationship because she wasn't tolerant of my beliefs. I was always under the impression that Jesus wanted to bring us together as people...not tear them apart. At least I nipped this in the bud now instead of letting it progress until this new girl potentially told me to take a hike because she discovered that I believed Muslims, Buddhists, Agnostics and Hinduists deserved to go to Heaven too.


This won't stop me from continuing to find my next love. I am beginning to believe that any girl who comes up to me and proclaims aloud "I believe we are all equal in God's eyes" I am going to tie up and take home. Thanks for listening.



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You dodged a bullet with that one. I think you should find a nice secular girl with liberal views on Christianity...You DO NOT want to be tied down to a fundamentalist.

The fact that she doesn't even want to be your friend just because you don't agree with her makes her shallow and immature. Really, do you need to be around people like that?

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Orlander, I'm sorry that worked out like that, BUT better to get the warning

early on right? I am sure that must have been really frustrating and a little strange. (the whole same church, ect..) You are right to continue on your

journey and in my opinion you handled it beautifully.

She's out there. (and she might even like being tied up, who knows?..ahem)

Take good care,


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I think you were right to walk away from this one. I think that in order for most couples to work, they have to have similar religiouse beliefs. I'm not saying that just because you have different religions the relationship won't work, but it causes lots of problems, such as how to raise children, where to get married, things like that. It's also a way of life for some people and others who don't share those beliefs may not understand.

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sorry orlander. i'm like you, i would tolerate the religion of anyone i loved. it's disappointing that there are some who wouldn't do the same for me (although i do understand the "difference in lifestyle" argument).


along the same lines, my ex cited our "inability to talk about politics" as a "red flag" when he was breaking up with me!...which basically meant that he never liked that i'm a republican while he's a democrat. i was so incensed. and again, i would have no problem dating any democrat, but he couldn't return the open-mindedness, i guess. i would have preferred to be dumped for religious beliefs over political beliefs...but oh well.

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Gosh Orlander, you were once burned, and now twice shy! I agree with the other posters, good thing you learned all this now about the woman before you got too involved (or involved at all). Some leopards just don't change their spots, and others would take too much work, time, and effort in order to get them to change.


FYI, i'm totally secular and not religious at all...meanwhile my brother is born again, and very religious. We've agreed to disagree about things, and in general we don't discuss religion any more (he has gotten past his super-evangelical phase now that he has a family). Whereas I dont share his religious views, I greatly admire his faith, and the belief that he expresses, both verbally and by his actions. But it took a LONG time to get to this point! (and because he was my only brother, I really had no choice but to try, or else lose a relationship with him).


You, on the other hand, have a world of choices you can make!

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Thanks Joyce, Donster. It has seemed that the older i have gotten the more I have realized that as people get more mature/older they tend to be less tolerant about themselves, others, the world, etc.


I'm never so foolish to believe that my views and opinions are better or more righteous than someone elses. I hope one day we can all learn to be open and tolerant of others' beliefs.



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  • 3 months later...

It is great that you got it out of the way now rather than going through this same crap.


I agree with the others, you should stick to one who is a little bit more liberal. My best friend married an athiest but is 100% christian, and they clashed alot of religion.


I believe in God, and Jesus, but I dont push my views on people, I am more than happy to actually have a debate about it tho


Also my boyfriend is agnostic, and I have told him..Our children will learn about God, and the teachings, and when they come to a certain age, can make their own decisions, and he completely agreed that was fine.


So maybe someone like me HAHAH


I am sure everything will work out for the best in long run!

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Yup, my father was a devout atheist, and my mother was a devout Christian.


My mother is a devout atheist and my father a devout Christian!


At the end of the day I think it boils down to 'Do we share a similar moral outlook!'


I mean you can be an atheist and still be compassionate to people, you can be a Christian and be selfish!


I personally incline towards the Buddhist!

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