just wondering

[pacopaco]

I was having a conversation with a female friend. She told me that my ex keeps in contact because she wants to hold the connection with me. my friend said it could be love, friendship, comfort, sex, whatever, anything.

I don't understand why. why? for what? I told my ex that i am not over the feeling that she dislikes me. what other feeling for me would justify her betrayal, other than she could not stand me, and WANTED to hurt me.

has any woman here cheated, and still wanted the connection with the man you cheated with? why keep the connection? i'd imagine, if it were I who did this thing, my guilt would be such that I'd want to crawl into a whole, and not be seen by anyone.

[NJRon]

Sometimes, the guilt works in reverse and makes you want to make things up to them.

 

Then again, the first girl that ever cheated on me told me the next day, "I told my sister about what happened and she said that cheating is just a symptom of a bad relationship, so I need to break up with you." And she walked away...

 

So yeah... the thought process often confuses me...

[joyce1412]

first and foremost, don't let yourself think that her desire to be friends with you is anything beyond a desire to be friends with you. when my ex wanted to be friends i was really hoping he was reaching out to reconcile because he missed me, but there comes a time when you just need to accept that they mean exactly what they say.

 

it's hard to go from having someone mean so much in your life and occupy such a significant spot in your heart to not even speaking with that person. i think most can't handle this dichotomy, which is why at least one person in the relationship usually wants to be friends.

 

it's probably that your ex still thinks you're a good person and enjoys your company, which is why she wants to be your friend, but not your girlfriend. and she may feel guilty for hurting you and is trying to make up for it in a small way by being there for you as a friend.