Lost and confused

[KTboo]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years and together we have an 11-month-old little girl. At the start of the relationship everything was brilliant, we had arguments but we were always able to sort them out.

 

Whilst I was pregnant he became really secretive. Wouldn't tell me where he was going or who he was with, even hiding his phone. Whenever I did get to go out with him, friends would come up to me and tell me stories and rumours of my boyfriend cheating or being flirty with other girls. I could never open up to him because he would just get really angry and blame it all on me or the insecurities in my head.

 

Since our daughter was born things didn't get much better. He ran away every weekend, sometimes for 2 – 3 days at a time, leaving me holding the baby. Our arguments have ended us and then we've got back together again but the problem is whenever I go to talk to him about our problems he just shouts at me or gets very angry. He doesn't help me with my daughter. I have to "ask" for help, even though I have done this so many times yet nothing has changed.

 

The whole situation has left me feeling rejected and very depressed. My friends won't speak to me anymore and I am too frightened to go back into "the group" I was in because I don't want to hear anymore rumours.

 

Any suggestions?

[NJRon]

I am confused as to why you are allowing yourself and your child to be treated like this. I find his actions deplorable.

[amtjrtcet]

I agree with NJRon....don't allow yourself and your child to be treated this way

[KTboo]

I am confused as to why you are allowing yourself and your child to be treated like this. I find his actions deplorable.

 

I think the only reason why i've done what I have is because of his mental control over me. I guess I am scared of him.

[NJRon]

I would agree. Typically the only reason people stay in abusive/toxic relationships is due to fear. I think you need to address that. There is something better out there for you... even being alone is better than being with someone that belittles you, doesn't participate in their own child's life has a temper and cheats.

 

I know, if it were my mom that were in such a situation, I would rather be brought up by a single, happy mother than in an atmosphere of enxiety and anger. I'm hoping there are other people on here who might have a bit more experience dealing with exactly your situation who could lend their assistance.