families and spouses

[SarahRose]

Why is it that we can fall out of love with a sig other or spouse but not a parent or child?

[lost_status]

I think because parents and children are blood related and we usually find a way to forgive them.

[bhzmafia]

I think because parents and children are blood related and we usually find a way to forgive them.

you just have to forgive them... theres no other choice

 

you have the ability to chose everything except your family, after all

[maasikus]

I think-

 

Parents - Coz you're indebted to them for bringing u into this world and providing for u and protecting u...

 

Children - U feel protective about them and feel they are helpless without u...

 

Sig other - The relationship is based on attraction/bonding, which then becomes love, and if that phase is gone, the love wears out?

 

Interesting question...

[beaglelover_06]

Interesting question. The reason for not falling out of love with your family or child is because they are blood-related. You can't choose if they can be in your family or not unlike a spouse.

[Hemorrhage]

I think because parents and children are blood related and we usually find a way to forgive them.

 

I agree. (Ten characters)

[Honey Pumpkin]

Because family you didn't choose for any reasons - you all got landed with each other! And a great Mark Twain quote:

 

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

 

Love it....

[Dako]

from what I've seen, you can fall out of love with a child or parent.

[maasikus]

from what I've seen, you can fall out of love with a child or parent.

 

I agree - but not as common as falling out of love with ur s/o...

[Daligal83]

I'm actually reading all about attachment and bonding for two of my classes (I'm going into social work, specifically child welfare). It's actually very interesting. When a child is born, it craves forming attachments with its caregivers. At each age, there is a process as to how the infant and caregiver bond that is unique. I think that is why you can't just give up on your family. It's this innate bonding process that began at the beginning of life that doesn't even compare to that of a significant other. That being said, it's when the attachment process is disturbed that people form attachment issues and can't bond properly with others, even their own children.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

I think Dako is right, and frankly, I think that sig others are easier to tolerate than parents, if you're living with the 'rents anyway.

[Momene]

My bond with my daughter is the strongest I've ever had with anyone. We are very similar and can often guess what each other are thinking.

[SarahRose]

What about adopted kids. They aren't blood.

 

Seems like some of this is a choice.

[Daligal83]

It's all about the bonding process that children and caretakers go through. There's this thing called the arousal/relaxation cycle where the infant cries because it needs something, the caretaker responds and meets that need, and then the infant is peaceful again. This is how the infant learns to trust and build relationships. It doesn't have to be with someone related through blood. Although when this cycle is disrupted, that's when you form attachment issues which is what you deal with often when you have older child adoption. You essentially have to go back and reparent the child with that arousal/relaxation cycle. You have to teach them that their needs can be met and through that they start to trust again.