Any happy endings?

[paulapalooza]

Is there such a thing as a happy ending? Has anyone actually got back together and it worked?

 

My ex and I only broke up over the weekend. He says he doens't know what he wants. I wasn't always happy. He's confused about what he wants to do in life. He's still in school. I'm starting my career. I just bought a condo. We were drifting apart.

 

My coworker said that her and her current fiance were in the same situation that my ex and I are in now whe she was my age. Do some people just need to grow up before they realize that someone is right for them?

[sumguy]

Statistically, it must have happened to someone somewhere. A forum where people come to get over their break-ups with their ex's might not be the best place to be looking for a happy ending.

 

I'll let someone older answer the second part of that post, although I'm pretty sure the answer is yes.

[DN]

Sometimes it works, I suspect mostly not. But beware of the "grow up" comment. It is not necessarily immature to realise that you don't know what you want - in fact, it can be the opposite.

[nikkers04]

hey i sent u a private message about what I thought. But, It is possible that you will get back together but in the end the possibility of that not being what you want later on is fairly high.

[cherriecheek]

i'm in the same boat as you.

 

my ex broke up with me 3 months ago because he "wasnt sure where it was going or what he wanted in terms of us or his life" i did NC for about a month and the last i spoke to him he was still "unsure" i guess im still waiting for that happy ending. but im also moving on in the process.

 

i wish i could tell you how i think things will turn out in your situation, my suggestion is give him all the space he needs and go on with your life. he knows what you have to offer and you dont have to prove it more now that your broken up.

 

how old was ur co worker when she went through this? and how long were they broken up for? i am fresh out of college and my ex was out for a year. i thought if anyone would be having doubts about us it would be me, the one who is going threw all the changes. it seems like ur around the same age. perhaps ppl in their early 20's sometimes question whether or not they are on the right path with school, jobs and their relationships..

[paulapalooza]

I'm 23 and my ex is 24. My coworker said that she and her (now) fiance were the same age. I guess they were broken up for like six years before they hooked back up. She was in another relationship before her current fiance in which she was also engaged. So who knows. Life, I guess, has a funny way of working things out.

 

The other thing too with this guy is that we were friends for 8 years before we even hooked up. There's a good chance that we'll be friends again, but not now. There was always a special spark between us. I just hope that it's not lost and I was a fool for dating him in the first place.

[joyce1412]

i remember when i first came on these boards i wanted to hear happy endings/success stories just like you.

 

but you know what i now wish people had told me then? to stop hoping. if i had stopped hoping sooner i think i would have started feeling a lot BETTER, SOONER.

 

there is a chance you and your ex will get back together. there's always a chance. it's just that it's very slim, and hearing every success story in the world doesn't mean that it's going to happen for you.

 

i feel that the people in my life (friends, family) who gave me hope for getting back with my ex actually did me a disservice. i hung onto their words even as every signal my ex gave me indicated that he didn't want me back.

 

the truth is, most people will have many failed relationships before their final, hopefully lifelong relationship. i'm confident that you have that last, great relationship coming your way.

 

those who move on the fastest are the ones who accept the end ASAP. you are much better off moving on and getting to a place where you feel good about yourself, your life, and stop pining for a person who doesn't want you or love you the way you deserve.

 

all i know is, here i am five months out of my relationship, only just now beginning to accept that it's over FOREVER, and holding out for my ex has made me very unhappy. i hope the same thing doesn't happen to you.

[Phoenix69]

sUMGUY,

Jus thought I should bring to your attention, that it is not only breakups people need help with, its relationships in general. This is a great place to come about ANY problems u have.

I have had a (Relatively) happy ending. My BF and I broke up in March and got back together about two weeks later, we are still together now and have learned many things about ourselves and our relationship that have brought us closer. And also taught us to talk to each other instead of just bottling it up inside.

Its not easy though and we have been through some trying times since we got back together. In order for a "getting back together" to be successful, you need to focus on why you broke up and the desire to make things work must come from both sides. Its NOT easy, so only consider reconciliation if you KNOW both of you have your hearts in it.

[tylercdurden2004]

I guess they were broken up for like six years before they hooked back up.

 

This is important. the time apart was significant where the feelings would have subsided enough for them to move on in their lives, do their own things, and realize what they want.

 

In these instances I would say the possibility is higher. But breaking up and getting back together after only a few months I think is not enough time to work out the issues that caused the breakup.

 

I am sure it has happened but again statistically speaking its rare. The question you have to ask yourself is are prepared to put your life on hold for 6 years?

 

Even thinking about getting back together creates impediments to atually doing it. I think if you are in a place where you are done a gone with the relationship and are doing things for yourself etc then your chances will be better.

 

Bottom line dont worry about getting back together. Move on and if it happens it happens.

[Dako]

For what it's worth, my ex and I still use terms of endearment when we go out together, yet we each know we'll never be a couple again. When you go through the pain of parting, some delicate things are broken for good.

[Tshwane]

AFTER a recent breakup(like yours), the last thing you need to do is start reconcilliation thoughts.

 

I've gotten back with exe's before, it never worked because i couldn't deal with past issues.

[Delusion]

Putting my two cents in...I think there is always a happy endings it's just that they are not the ones we are always hoping for. It's true what Joyce says about not waiting around or hoping that person will return. I've been hoping these past couple of months since I started NC and 5 months since the the breakup. You have to believe that everything happens for a reason good or bad and have faith that if that person is really your soulmate they will return b/c they were meant for you. But you must accept this and move on. I'm learning after a rough past couple of days of feeling depressed again over the ex that I can't continue falling in that hole that only brings tears to my eyes and plain misery. Life is too short and the most wonderful things happen when we least expect them. For example, meeting my ex last November was at time when I least expected to meet someone I could connect so well with or let alone truly fall in love. You see, I was very carefree and never really opened up to anyone before him but for whatever reason it happened with him. I will always love him. I have accepted that he is gone in not in my life and that I can't think of what might happen in the future b/c I have no control over it. By just writing this, I feel I'm making progress in accepting the reality and leaving it in God's hands and know that if he's the one he will return. I'm now getting back to concentrating more on work, going back to school to get my MA/law degree, my family and above all working on myself.

 

As for getting back together stories, I have one that kind of fits but it's more about how you never know what destiny has in store and as said before and as cliche as it is, if it's meant to be it will be. So, this friend of mine went on a date with this guy from work about three years ago, they went on about three or four dates and then the guy never called her back. Things were left at that, she went overseas for about two years and came back last summer. When she returned she bumped into this guy that she dates three years back. They started going out on dates and so forth. They got engaged a couple of months later and got married this summer. So, the gist of the story is that this friend didn't ponder, think or even imagine that this guy would be the one (or maybe she did) b/c she went out with other people. But see, her destiny was him. I hope this brings some comfort to everyone out there and I think of this when I start to get down.

[paulapalooza]

Sometimes when I feeling a little bummed out, it's just nice to hear someone say, "Look at what these guys did. It happened for them." Even though I know that things may never happen again with my guy, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Things may happen like that for me. I guess I just have to be patient.

[breeze33]

Is there such a thing as a happy ending? Has anyone actually got back together and it worked?

 

My ex and I only broke up over the weekend. He says he doens't know what he wants. I wasn't always happy. He's confused about what he wants to do in life. He's still in school. I'm starting my career. I just bought a condo. We were drifting apart.

 

My coworker said that her and her current fiance were in the same situation that my ex and I are in now whe she was my age. Do some people just need to grow up before they realize that someone is right for them?

 

you recently broke up. Because the emotions are still raw, both of you need time to think things through. It will be painful but it if it is meant to be, time has a way of bringing people back together. It happened to my best friend who broke up with her bf and after a year of NC, they got back together and are now married.

 

My current bf is someone I had a relationship last year but we broke it off due to problems we were having. There was just too much fighting and too much drama. I mourned, cried, examined my life and then moved on, thinking I would never see him again but I always felt a strong connection between us. When we finally hooked up after a year of total NC, we were different people. I didn't plan on getting back together with him, it just gradually happened. We started off as friends first (I was very hesitant and reluctant) and then the romantic stuff just gradually and slowly happened. This time it was from a different and more positive perspective. He seemed healthier and together mentally and emotionally; he told me the same about me too. It is much different now, much better and definitely no drama. Of course, nothing is as easy as pie, a relationship takes work and two people who want to make it work.

 

I don't want to give you false hope but it does happen. But right now, there is all this negative and raw emotion involved. I would suggest taking a step back, start NC. This is a time to work on yourself to become the person you want to be; ask what you want out of life and work towards your goals. If he comes back, then it was meant to be. If not, then you are a better person and someone more worthy of you is waiting in your future.