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Distance after first encounter


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I've been seeing this woman for about 2 months. I really care for her, and I enjoy spending time with her. This last weekend we finally went "all the way." However, I think she has some reservations about our relationship after this night.

To begin, we made out for about 1/2 hour, then we started some heavy petting. She gave the go ahead, and I went down on her for a while, carressing her, talking to her, telling her what I wanted to do to her. She was quite excited, and said she wanted me inside her. I pulled on a Trojan, quick as I could, and entered her missionary style. We went missionary for about 10 minutes, then swapped to doggy style for a few minutes, back to missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, back to missionary. All in all, this lasted about an hour. After the first 20 minutes, she started asking if I was going to come. Then she kept asking every 5 minutes or so. I was so excited to be with her, and so (egostistically?) desiring to please her, that I wasn't ready, prepared, or set to come at this point. About 45 minutes into our "session" I told her I wasn't ready to come, but that I wanted to give her an orgasm. 15 minutes later, she calls off the encounter, saying she's exhausted. We were both covered in sweat, her juices were smeared all over the place, and I could understand her exhaustion, I too was beat.

She asked my why I hadn't come, and I told her I just wasn't ready to come yet. She said she was on the pill, if it was the condom preventing me from coming. I told her I was fine, it wasn't the condom, I just didn't reach orgasm, and I was more than pleased with her, and that it wasn't her that was preventing me from coming, but that I just wasn't ready for it. We layed around about 20 minutes, and she suggested we shower. Once in the shower, we started bathing each other, carressing one another, and heavily kissing. We were really getting heavy into it, when she said she wanted me inside her again. When I went to step out of the shower to grab a condom, she said she wanted me without a rubber, under the shower head. I entered her, and we started again, in an awkward standing position. I'm much taller than her, so she had to stand on the edge of the tub, and I kinda had to stand at a funny angle, it wasn't working, so I picked her up. I'm thinking this is fantastic, I am with a woman I really enjoy being around, and who hasn't seen a romantic movie where the couple has sex in the shower. I'm really getting into it, and she asks, "Are you going to come?" And I was getting closer, I really was, but as soon as she said that, "BAM!" I'm out of the zone. I tell her I'm close, and talk to her, asking her what she wants. She's kinda loud, and soon after this point she realizes that her bathroom is directy above the downstairs neighbor's bathroom, and that the sound carries pretty well through the bathrooms. She wants to leave the bathroom now.

We go into the living room, I put on another condom, and she turns almost all of the lights out. We lie on the floor of the living room, and she wants me to enter her missionary. It's so dark I can barely see her eyes with my face like 3 cm from hers. Not 5 minutes in, she asks if I'm going to come soon. I tell her no. She asks if she talked dirty, would that help, she says she wants me to come, but she doesn't think she can keep going, she's worn out, and hopes that I'm close. I pull out and start going down on her, to give her a break from our energetic activity. About 5 minutes later, she calls me off.

I haven't been with many women, and I haven't been with her before ever, this is my first encounter with her. Several times throughout the previous sessions she has become quite tight, her * * * * * would contract so hard she would push me out of her. As I mentioned before, she was very wet, I assumed she was orgasming, and that was doing the trick for me.

Now she wants to know why I haven't come. I tell her it's probably because of the anxiety and stress of wanting to please her at our first time together is a part of it, and her asking me is really making me uncomfortable. I tell her I don't really need to come, but that I am so happy to be with her it's not a priority for me. I tell her, if it's going to happen, I will let her know when, but that I don't feel ready yet.

She tells me she wants me to come, and asks what she can do to make it happen. She asks if, and she whispers it, kind of turning her head away as she says it, "Do you want...anal?" I'm stunned. I don't want anal. I don't want anal, and I tell her, "I don't want anal sex, but if you want it, I will do it." She says she only wants to make me come, and if anal will make me come, she will do it. I let her know that anal won't be the magic bullet, and that I don't really like the idea.

She says she's physically incapable of continuing our escapades, and wants to go lie in the bed and cuddle. We head to the bed, and lay in bed touching each other, whispering to one another, and just lazing in the atmosphere of post sex exhertion. The entire time, I am still erect, I want to come. I want to come so bad, but I can't reach that peak, and now I'm getting blue balls, and I'm not able to make my erection go away. I want to carress her, and spoon, and enjoy the presense of her body, but my little friend is poking into her back/ thigh/ stomach/ side at every motion. We play like this for about 1/2 hour, and she says she wants to do something to make me come, "What's going to make you come? I want you to come." Again, I tell her I am not sure what will make me come, but that I want to make her happy, and if me coming is so important for her, I will try to come. I tell her I want her to go down on me, and she gives it a try. She's timid about it, and I tell her I would like her to be more aggressive, but she doesn't seem to be able to get into it. She asks if I can get off by masterbating, and can she help. I tell her I am not certain I can get off by masterbating at this point, but that if she would, I would like to watch, and assist, and maybe it will help. She plays with herself, and I watch, rubbing her shoulders, kissing her neck, and generally, trying to make her as aroused as possible.

She wants sex again at this point, and we go at it again, missionary, cowgirl, missionary again, give her a rest, and missionary, doggie, missionary wash rinse repeat, and finally I come. It's been about 4 hours at this point, but I do come. It's such a relief for me, not the orgasm, but that I came, and now she won't be thinking that she's inadequate in some fashion. We cuddle, and she seems pleased, then she asks me, "How long before you can go again?" I tell her I can go again immediately, and she doesn't believe me. I enter her again in the missionary position, and we start all over again. Two hours of bedroom olympics go on, and I don't come again, I don't even come close. I'm thinking I've just had the night of my life, and I have many more to come.

The next day, after I get off from work, going all day on ~1 hour of sleep, I go to see her, and she tells me she's sore from our night activities, and she giggles a little. I tell her I too am sore, and that I really enjoyed our night together. We sit around the house and watch a movie, talk about books we've read, all that jazz. After about an hour, she comes up close, and starts to give me a kiss. We make out for a few minutes, and she pulls away from me. I wasn't making any forward gestures, I want to have sex again, but I don't want to hurt her if she's sore. As I mentioned, she's about 5'4 and I'm 6'4, so I can imagine I could be a little rough for her. I tell her how good she smells, how I love her eyes, all that jazz, and she says she is tired, that she didn't get any sleep, and she has to leave the next morning to go home to visit her family two states away. I tell her I want to just sleep the night in her arms, no sex, if she isn't ready for it again yet, and she says she doubts we will sleep any if I stay the night, and that it's best if I just go home. I concede, and go home, go to bed. This was last weekend, since she came back, I have seen her twice, in a week. The first night I saw her, I tried to kiss her, and she returned the kiss, but then pulled away. The second time I saw her, she wouldn't let me kiss her. I asked her what's wrong, and she says she is just confused at the moment, but that it's nothing I've done, then she makes some excuse and sends me on my way.

I'm scared she has some reservations about us after our night together, and I can't figure out what I can do to get her to open to me and tell me what she thinks, what's wrong, or what's bothering her. Did I come on too strong? Should I have lied at some point and said, "Yes, I came." even though I hadn't? Is it possible that my lack of orgasm is the culprit?

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If she honestly is turned off that you didn't come quickly enough for her then that's pretty shallow at this point in the relationship since it was only your first time together.


My guess she probably really enjoyed her time with you and it's kinda of scaring her a bit. Give her some time and don't pressure her...remember how the pressure of her asking you all the time was? Well if you start pressuring her about the status of things she'll react the same way you did...give it some time and some space and if she really is into you then she'll come around.

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