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Keeping passion alive (non-penetration sex)

Geno101

By Geno101
in Sex and Romance

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Geno101 Contributor

Geno101

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Whats up everyone.

 

some background = [i'm in a very odd-type relationship, but i dont mind. She's just getting out of a relationship (maybe two months ago) and when she first got out of the relationship, she was so distant from me that it hurt, because she was saying she wanted to avoid a "rebound" relationship and she needed time alone.

 

So now, two months down the road, we have been talking every single day possible and hanging out and stuff. And it has grown into something like a 1/2 relationship, 1/2 friendship type thing. Where now, we have dry sex and oral sex and... "fingeR" sex and stuff. lol., but she DOES NOT want intercourse until marriage...]

 

Now to the point. we've had dry sex and oral and stuff like that about 4 or 5 times in the past week or so, and i fear running out of ideas. Its not the point where its boring but i fear that it could approach that. I'm a very passionate guy, and i personally think i know how to touch a woman the right way because she goes wild with the slightest nip with my lips or the softest rub with my fingers, the softest kisses, she pants heavily and fast, and she squirms and shifts and moans just from slight touch. but, I can feel some of the passion draining.

 

We last did something 2 days ago (sunday, September 3, 2006), and it wasnt as passionate as the first 2 or 3 times. Not a big change but there was one definitely. My normal routine is to talk into her ear to get her juices flowing, nibbling on her ear and slowly caressing the special area from outside her jeans. She goes crazy right there in my arms. Then i rub it and slowly give her instruction, like slowly undo her belt or her button and zipper for me or something or tell her where to touch herself. Or sometimes she cant take it anymore and she begins stripping before i tell her to, lol. (and thats when i drive her even more crazy by telling her to stop and wait for me to give her permission, and i make her beg for it ) anyway... i then rub it thorugh the panties (very slow, long process), eventually i go into the panties and i finger her, play with all the right things, the lips, as i like to call them, the clit, then i ease my way in..

 

Now. A few extra things i do is: I tell her to grind on me with just her panties on (she has orgasm'ed from that twice so far) and sometimes i eat her out (she orgasmd from that once) but beyond these things i honestly dont know what to do. I kiss her neck, i massage her breasts, and i lick her anywhere on her body. But sometimes i feel as if i'm gonna run out of things and the passion will die. and i'm DEAFLY afraid of that happening because encounters with her means so much.

 

Does anyone have any ideas on keeping passion flowing or any new ideas or specific things i could say to her or... I dunno you guys throw them out at me, i'm all ears.

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AvsFan Enthusiast

AvsFan

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I'd say keep doing what you're doing. It seems like you've done just about everything except for sex. But it all doesn't have to be about the dry sex and everything. It would also help if you just hung out and talked. Take her to some romantic dinners... Keep it up for a while until she's ready for the big moment

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Geno101 Contributor

Geno101

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I agree with AvsFan, you could do that it woul be romantic. You could also do some role playing, you can role play without having sex. Say shes your secratary and shes giving you a blow job under her desk

 

If your not into that kinda stuff then think about doing it in some exciting places o.o just please, no carpet, it burns and hurts.

 

 

Lotsa Love

Rain Gate

 

LOL! Carpet. nahhh. The thing is, we usually dont have anywhere to go besaides my car, because her family is always home, no privacy, and my house....is liek privacy free.. Close Quaters. And she refuses to give me oral, because she doesnt like doing it. i could convince her, and i almost did, but she looked like she genuinly did not want to, so i just kissed her and told her it was okay.

 

I'd say keep doing what you're doing. It seems like you've done just about everything except for sex. But it all doesn't have to be about the dry sex and everything. It would also help if you just hung out and talked. Take her to some romantic dinners... Keep it up for a while until she's ready for the big moment

 

Yeah, i feel as if i'm doing all that i should, but i think i'm jsut paranoid because she means so much to me and DO NOT want our incidents to just become some passionless, regular every-day trash like anybody else. I wanna keep IT special just like SHE'S special.

 

Lol yea just experiment. Or try to hang out for a whole day. Maybe shop or something, romantic dinner, then go home. Try a hot tub or something

 

Well we're only 17 and 18 (i'm the youngest) so, we dont have money, un-occupied homes, hot tobs, or location selection or opportunity... We've been considering a motel or hotel, or a friend's house, as a change in scene, but, things dont work out for various reasons. Money is the main one. And time frames because parents worry and complain... I'm just a self conscious person and i dont like feeling like i'm boring her or like i'm failing to drive her wild like before. You know?

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Geno101 Contributor

Geno101

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Lets see... he's 17... try the hallway at school lol. Not really, you'd get busted.

 

I actually graduated from highschool. She's in college now, and i think i'm gonna be picking her up from class today, and i wanted to try something which is kinda why i wanted to type this post NOW. lol. We talked on the phone before she went to class and she was acting extremely horny. Which makes me wanna try to do some stuff even more than intially..

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Geno101 Contributor

Geno101

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Thats true. If you want to make it special, don't do it 24/7. Maybe go a few days without... Maybe more. Then when you make out, it'll mean a little more.

 

extremely good advice. I was thinking that too. but its so hard to resist her and to even keep my hands off of her when i'm with her. she's so.... man oh man. I'm sure some of u guys know what i mean when i say that...

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chai714 Veteran

chai714

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Geno,

 

I know that at 17 years old, your hormones are raging.

 

I don't think you need to do more and more and more to "spice up" your sexual relations. Sexual relations can only be spiced up so much until you've run out of ideas.

 

Instead of having consistent sexual relations with her, hold off at times. Give her a conversation on some days and simply leave with a kiss. Let some sexual tension build for a few days or week then release it by giving her an orgasm. This way, you don't have to re-invent yourself on a daily basis and it keeps for more unpredictable sexual relations. Good luck.

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Geno101 Contributor

Geno101

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LOL. yeah. Well. I'm the type of person that gets off by pleasing someone else. just the sound of her moan or the movement of her body or the spead of her breaths, or the expressions on her face gets me going. When we'r ein the middle of this. she says thigns to me that she knows i fantisize about. I likes it when she calls me a certian thign and she moans it over and over and talks to me. She knows my fantasies. So recently began stroking me up and down and jus tplaying with it.

 

She actually did LICK it once for like 3 seconds, and said "okay, is that good?" i laughed because i knew she didnt want to. but yeah. She follows instructions and i become the dominant male figure when we're doing the do. She listens to me and she does everyhting i say whcih also turns me on ('m not abusive or controlling thats just a form of role-playing)

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Geno101 Contributor

Geno101

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Geno,

 

I know that at 17 years old, your hormones are raging.

 

I don't think you need to do more and more and more to "spice up" your sexual relations. Sexual relations can only be spiced up so much until you've run out of ideas.

 

Instead of having consistent sexual relations with her, hold off at times. Give her a conversation on some days and simply leave with a kiss. Let some sexual tension build for a few days or week then release it by giving her an orgasm. This way, you don't have to re-invent yourself on a daily basis and it keeps for more unpredictable sexual relations. Good luck.

 

excellent, excellent advice... Tying to hold off is SO hard though because for one, she's SO DAMN SEXY and beautiful and all the fantasies we've shared over the past 11 months and what not.. its just...ahhh.. and i never know when i'll see her again, so sometimes i get impatient so i just.. initiate and we do stuff. and we're both touchy feely people at times, so... Jokingly we brush and touch and squeeze and tickle until we begin touchin specific places and turning each other on...

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Geno101 Contributor

Geno101

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Nah, I didn't mean it like an insult.

 

I'll rephrase:

 

IMO ur a great lover, and I really can't see ur girl getting enough of what ur already doing.

 

Why are you worried? Has she told you is getting boring or something?

 

ahh okay, sorry for misunderstanding. Thanks, i appreciate it...

 

No, she didnt say anything of the sort. She still seems to LOVE it, but i felt a little less "passion in the air" this time around and i'm generaly just... worry-some (if thats a word).. I tend to be self conscious or... Cautious about things. So its sort of me worrying about it possibly getting a bit boring or tedius, or repetitive after a while. Sort of like a routine instead of a surprising, unexpected venture to each other's personal space...

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Geno101 Contributor

Geno101

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Also, i just got back from picking her up from school. taking her to get eats, and then home. I was energetic at first, happy to see her, we laughed and joked around, but i wasnt touchy feely. She was in my shoes today. Like she jokingly prodded my bottom with the umbrella i brought her from home because it was raining. She kept doing it, jokingly though, but thats a sexual joke.. U know?

 

and in the car she just randomly touched my face and rubbed it for no reason. I just laughed and smiled or whatever. I said "What was that for?" she just looked at me and said "I dunno..." and shrugged her shoulders... lol... But i gradually grew extremely sleepy because i was sleep before i went out to get her anyway. It felt good to be on the receiving end of all the affection. She initiated two hugs, poked and prodded my butt, rubbed my face and she occasionally payed special attention to her breasts. I held my composure though.

 

She joked around and said she knows that i wish i had those boobs for myself, and she..touched on them a few times. lol. Looking right at me. but i was way too sleepy, plus, i had all of you guys' advice in the back of my mind the entire time. so next time i'm sure it'll be even more .... steeamy, i guess? (i hate that word).. Especially since i didnt give her what she seemingly wanted.

 

She pulled one of my numbers too. "Lets pull over somewhere and talk...pull into this lot right here..." ..now mind you, that is what i usually say when i want some. lol. We pulled over and she ate, and we talked, but before she finished her food and jumped on me, something happened that required me to take her home... but yeah. I feel kind of.. special and somewhat on the receiving end now. I feel girly saying "special" but i honestly do. Thats the best description of how i feel right now. this is great...

 

but anyway, she should be calling me any second now, so i'm gonna go get in the bed and prepare to watch the premiere of her favorite show with her.. nip/tuck She loves it. so. I'm gonna make her happy and acompany her. Well Thanks to you all. maybe i'll post a few more encounters here later on.

 

hasta...

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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Sounds to me like the excitement is all - or mostly - physical/sexual. Do you feel excited/enthusiastic when you talk to her? When she confides in you? I think sexual excitement is mostly between the ears, so that if you are truly passionate about someone you can kiss exactly the same over and over again and it's still exciting. No, it might not be as exciting as the first few times but because the relationship develops into more facets and levels, it doesn't have to be - it is not the focus. Of course, spice it up if you like, but the best situation would be if you are not such an "excitement" junkie and focus more on getting to know her and seeing if you enjoy the (possibly quieter) passion and excitement from feeling a connection.

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