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Councilling... Am i doing the right thing?

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Ok well i've been battling SI and depression for years. Its been so hard and a horrible time. I finally got over always feeling so bad and although i'd already seeked help from someone, it wasn't the help i needed.


So i have now spoken to my school nurse and two of the closest people to me in this world Mike and his son (around 19) Isaac. I told them all about my SI but kept my attempted suicides between me and Mike and Isaac as i thought Mike would keep things confidential. Well Isacc told me that he thought i should tell Mike and so i did. The only problem was Mike decided that he was getting (not reached but getting) to the point where he couldn't keep this a secret any longer.


He wanted to tell the priest at church and everything. I could not bear for him to find out so i decided that maybe people were right. Maybe i did need to see a councillor. I asked my school nurse about it all and she arranged for me to call Mike and talk to him and see if he would come with me.


We are still unsure if he is able to (due to the fact that i'm a minor and his an older man and his had a bad experience before) but at least i know i am going and i won't be alone. My only problem now is that i'm terrified of this. I don't know who i am without it... I guess i just need reassurance that what i'm doing is right... I don't know but i do know i'm scared out of my mind.


Sorry if nothing i said really made sense i'm just so confused and all over the place.

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