Trying to find out my passion/gift.. Don't know what it is?

[KIDD]

I used to think that writing was my gift as when I was younger I used to write stories alot & I would spend hours writing comic books & I'd just love to be creative. As high school hit, I just grew out of that & now when I even try to pick up a pen,pencil,crayons or whatever.. it's just not something I'm into anymore.I tried so hard to get back in it but it's like whatever with it now.

 

For the longest time now I'm still at this point where I'm trying to find myself & nothing is clicking for me. I mean I have absolutely no interest in anything now. I'm not in school or even motivated to look at schools. I'm just working at a job I hate & I'm basically just living day by day which I seriously hate. Then I'm still living with my parents, who are annoying me everyday & all of my friends are gone so I feel like I'm in h*ll to be honest.

 

I was talking with my cousin last night who just graduated high school this year. He just moved into his new apartment in the town where his college is.It was his first night there, I tried to be excited for him but I was somewhat jealous & it made me feel bad. I mean he just has his head on right, he knows what he wants to study in & he's just overall excited. He has a car & an apartment,going to school. He's moving on with his life.

 

That was a reality check for me & I need to get on the ball & start working but I have to ask myself what am I working for? I'm just confused about everything right now & nothing makes sense to me anymore. I'm seriously bored with my life & I want some excitement. I really want to move out of the house & have my own life, new friends etc etc. Then I have to ask myself is college for me? I keep procrastinating about everything and I'm tired of it, I say I'm going to excercise & I don't, I say I'm going to look at schools & I don't. I need to get serious about my life because I'm about to be 20 years old next month.

 

I'm like so unorganized, when I get home from work. Instead of looking at schools or trying to do someting productive, I want to play the sympathy card & get depressed.I just listen to music & watch tv. I understand that that's not going to help me in life. I just wish I knew where to start exactly because it's so much for me to do. I'm working on getting my license & I'm saving up for a car now. Without transportation, it's really hard for me to get around to actually find out what I like to do. I feel that when I get my car, I'll be able to go out & explore things. I'm also considering seeing a psychiatrist because I feel that I have some serious issues to work on about myself.

 

Also,I'm taking time away from the computer because I'm on the internet 24/7 & it's not good. I need to get on the ball & discipline myself. If I have to get the cd player & tv out of my room I will have to I guess.. I want to come back on enotalone to not talk about how depressed I am for the 100th time. I'd actually like to talk about how things have progressed & how things are getting better.

 

So I guess this is just another rant in a way but I appreciate all of the love here, thanks & please pray for me.

[RelaxByWater84]

You might want to see what school subjects you got your highest grades in. You could also take a career test. These can tell what career you want to go in based on your interests. Career tests can tell you what you passionate about. I was really lucky that I found out my passions when I was younger. You might not find out what your passions are until you are older. You are young you still have time. Maybe try community theater. See if there are cooking classes in your area maybe at a Vocation/Technical School. Try some different things out karate, fencing. Just see what is in your area. Hope this helps.

[caring person]

Listen to me! I'm a guy who used to be on the computer all the time too. Yes, it can be a cause for depression, I went to a counselor too... here is the cure! 3 things to do...

1 Limit yourself to 1-2 hours computer fun per day.

2 (This part is very important...get outdoors and let the sun shine on your skin for 20 minutes or more and take a walk or jog while you are doing it.. why? here is the science behind it... the sun on your skin wards off depression by several reasons (one being vitamin E) and the walk or the jog helps to move along the fecal material that can cause depression by just laying motionless in your sedantary bowels as you sit in a chair...

3 Last, and most importantly, pray to God for guidance, and thank him for your blessings.

You could also volunteer, God loves those who help and love others too! And the nice things you do will give you a good feeling. If these 3 things don't seem to help, yes, go talk to a counselor or psychologist, they can help too.

I started doing this and I feel fine now, thank God!

PS, consider a religious life of helping others, especially those less fortunate than you. A life like this would have eternal rewards.

Take care and God bless!

[MewSkitty]

I know exactly what I want to do, and that's work with computers! Yes, you can make a great living and be on the computer 24/7! I grew up online and I can never get away from it, so I've decided to become a computer technition! Not only is it something I'll be good at, but also make a good living off of. You said you are on the computer all the time, so why not look for a job with computers? They are at high demand right now!

[laboheme]

You mentioned wondering about college...I'm still trying to figure out what I really want to do with my life, but college helped me narrow it down to a particular field, so it's something I'd recommend thinking about. I think a lot of people view college as a really big committment and don't want to go to school for four more years. If you're unsure, try a community college...and if you find that it's not helping you get settled in life, you don't have to stick with it. You don't have to do full-time either, maybe just take a couple of classes to start with.

 

The nice thing about college is that a lot of schools have a few core areas that you have to take classes in, so it forces you to explore several options that are very different from one another. And, classes aren't as conventional as they are in high school, so you can take something quirky! You never know, maybe you'll fall in love with something you never expected! (I know my plans took a 180 degree turn after a certain class, and I love where things are going!)

[Rickster]

KIDD I feel exactly the same as you. I don't know what is going on. I just feel bored with life.

[KIDD]

I've been looking at schools for a long time but I will find one that interests me. Where exactly can you take these career tests at? Can you take them online? I'm hoping that I will find something that will get me motivated to live again.

[FoxLocke]

You can take career tests online...

 

As it is, KIDD, I think you should take your own advice and maybe seek a little counseling.

From what it seems like you are slipping into a depression...and that sucks(I know from personal experience).

If you can look for a counseling center in your area that works on a sliding scale. I only spend 20 dollars a session on my counseling and I go once a week...It is helping me LOADS...

 

You'll be okay. It just takes work.

 

The best thing you can do now is take time out for KIDD.

[talo]

It seems to me that a lack of passion for something is actually a passion for nothing; in other words a passion for clarity, for loss of confusion.

 

This passion for nothing may be termed emptiness, lack of motivation, no interest.... it is usually given a bad press (negative press): eg you write "nothing is clicking for me". This is the passion for nothing that is 'clicking'. This is not negative. All feeling is helpful if allowed to be fully experienced/felt.

 

This passion is a feeling, an experience, to be experienced, acknowledged. It is an acknowledgement of, if you like, lack, being without, pure being.

 

This is the realisation that there is no real requirement to do anything, that this being is sufficient. This is the clear space. This is clarity. This is lack of confusion.

 

From this clear space there is no other passion, just the passion, the joy of clarity.

[KIDD]

My first step is trying to find my spiritual side. I think once I find that, I may be able to get myself back on track. I do believe in god like I've stated before, I just don't have a connection or feel like I know who he is. Maybe through counseling, I can find out what I want in life so I won't live in this constant fog I'm always feeling.

 

I'm just going to take time out for me like someone mentioned. I really just need some time alone to find myself. Maybe everybody left me for a reason so I can be alone to pull myself together.

 

I'm really mixed up but hopefully I will know who I am & what my purpose in this world is someday. However I'm going to work EXTRA hard to get to where I need to be. I'm so tired of complaining & I do nothing about it. It's time for me to be strong & get serious.

[deeanna]

Hi Kidd

good luck with your journey. Yes you need to spend some time with yourself, get to know yourself better. Pray and seek God too. the counselling will also help because sometimes another person can help you clarify some issues that are foggy right now. As you take time out you could volunteer as well. sometimes this helps you discover what you are or are not passsionate about but your helping other people in the process i went through that stage youre in (though it was caused by other factors) and i know that these help and, all in good time, youll figure it out. Let us know how you are getting on, ok?

[jdheinold]

it took me 7 years after high school to figure out what i truly wanted to do. i had a basic idea of the path, but no ambition or motivator. my ex left, and it just popped into my head!

 

I enjoyed Spanish and French classes (so much so i took a national test and ranked in the top 10%) and right off the bat i knew i wanted something to do with language...but what. i thought about teaching...then i thought some more. i decided it prolly wasn't for me. I brached a bit and looked at some other languages...then i remembered it wasn't the language itself that enticed me, it was figuring out how the words were formed, how the brain understands them etc etc... Voila! Linguistics. i picked up a couple books about various studies on linguistics, and was facinated...i had found my passion.

 

anyway, thats how i came to my desired course of study. i thought about what i enjoyed most, and worked from there. there are tests you can take, but i'm afraid that they'll tell me to do something with mathmatics. (ew)

 

i would suggest you think about what you enjoyed in high school, or some things you've enjoyed over the years with a job you've done. you may have hated the job, but maybe there was something within it you enjoyed.