I really needed to vent about the evil ex h. and ex mother in law

[SherriLi]

Hi everyone, This might be pretty long so i'll understand if you don't want to read and post back. I guess this is just a vent session anyway.

 

Pretty depressed today actually. I have been divorced for over two years now. The break up was super ugly. My ex and his mom went so far as to call social services and cry child abuse (on my friend at the time and also my nehew) to make my life a living hell. They did this twice and the second time they threatened to take my kids away and then called them again. So my girls would have to go through the motions of doc. examination, Police interview etc. The Pol. and doc. and social workers all knew that nothing happened cuz i explained what they were up to, the threats etc. They said they had to follow protocol anyway. Ex and mom knew the system, and thats why they kept doing this to me.

 

Any way that was years ago. Yesterday i got served with legal aid papers stating that they were going for custody. I haven't let "gradma" see the girls in over a month b/c she let my ex see them. I know that sounds pretty weird. But my ex was diagnosed with paranoid dementia disorder and is an alcoholic. He would come around my girls when his mother had them in the past and would upset them badly. So his mother and i agreed that he shouldn't see them.

 

THen last month she took them to a camp site while she was on vacation, and when my girls came home after a few days, they told me that they seen thier "other" dad. So me and my honey were naturally very upset. I called her, and asked her why she let "Ex" see them. She said he was all better! I lost my temper and we got into a yelling match. Her last words were "I know you are going through problems of your own" I hung up on her and she called back twice, My honey answered and he told me that she said "You tell her that i'm going to tell social services that the girls are living with domestic abuse and a pitbull"!! (a couple weeks earlier i tripped over our "pit bull" and gave myself a black eye, and this "pitbull" was only two monthes old and loveable". Natually she was trying to twist the truth and use it against me. He never abused me and the pitbull boxer cross is a puppy, isn't she pathetic?

 

My ex mother in law made me soo mad when she said "ex" was ok. He is so unstable. In December, when my honey and i decided to move intogether, i moved out of the home that is under mortgage with my ex (ex refused to take his name off the mortgage) b/c we didn't want to live there, too many ghosts and bad memories. since his name was still on it i couldn't rent it out (he would evict them as soon as he found out and move in) So i said he could have it as long as he signed the papers to get my name of it. Well he wouldn't sign the papers and he never paid the mortgage and it is now in foreclosure. Uggh he couldn't even pay the power bill and he had room mates! He's he is soo far from being Fine!

 

Anyway that was why i stopped letting her see the girls. Now she is pushing him to get custody so SHE can see them. It sure isn't him wanting this, he doesn't even call them on thier b.days, or buy them presents. He hasn't paid child support in two years.

 

I was very upset about this lastnight and let my anger go. I was playing Burn out revenge on PS2 and having a beer lastnight. My honey was watching UFC on the dish and then he challenged me to a game of Pool for 5 bucks. I lost and said double or Nothing, Then i won and got nothing. So i said (i thought??) I challenge you to another game for 5 bucks. He agreed, i won and he said that i bet him "something" not 5 bucks, by this time i was pretty buzzed and got irritated and said "Yeah you are trying to get out of paying me. If i was anyone else then you'd pay me or if there was one other person here you would'nt try to lie about what we bet on" and i went back in the bedroom & continued to play Burnout and drown my sorrows in alcohol.

I know i was a B*tch for saying that, it was harsh. I feel so bad because i took my anger out on him when the whole night he was trying to cheer me up.

He slept on the couch and this morning all i could say, "it was a stupid thing to get mad about" and hugged him, i was still half asleep, i know i could have made a better apology if i was fully conscious. He walked to work so i know that he is still mad at me. It was all my fault. Our relationship has been doing soo good lately and i screwed it up b/c i was mad at someone else! I hate my temper, especially once mixed with alcohol. Damn!

 

Anyway if you managed to make it through this long and mangled post, thanks for taking the time to read.

[rose2summer]

Hey Sherri,

 

You have a strong head on your shoulders,

 

Protecting your daughters from your ex,

 

They really don't need to be involved in the drama/conflicts,

 

I am a bit concerned that you are drowning your sorrows in alcohol,

 

Have you tried an alternative instead, like therapy, exercise, yoga, etc.

 

It seems that it will just drive you and your "honey" away from each other,

 

And create a negative role model for your daughters,

 

Maybe try an alternative so that you can take good care of your liver, mental health, and your daughters,

 

Hugs,

 

Rose

[SherriLi]

Hey rose2summer, thanks for the reply,

 

I know that i should be drowning my sorrows. I shouldn't have drank too much.

My and my honey like to relax together after work with a few beers. When we do get carried away it is in a good way, lots of fun and laughter, but lastnight was bad. I feel terrible for taking out on him, especially since we've been doing so well lately.

[rose2summer]

I completely understand Sherri,

 

You are a social drinker who had a little too much,

 

It's nice to relax but can you do it without alcohol?,

 

I just think alcohol will cause rifts between you and your honey,

 

I have seen it time and time again with friends,

 

I personally do not drink at all for that reason,

 

Because alcohol reduces your inhibitions and is a "downer" in a sense.

 

Hugs,

 

Rose