Failed in yet another relationship...

[cobro]

Well, I've called it quits in my current relationship. I guess it was more like a fling, we've only been talking for about a month. I just could not give 100%, and we just did not click sometimes. I was apathetic and didn't care if I impressed her or not. I was not physically attracted to her, but tried to make it work. I didn't get that "spark" you get when you really like someone. I didn't care. But the biggest thing that made me call it quits was that I came to the conclusion I might be using her as a rebound. See, I think I'm not fully over my ex, it's only been 3 months since she broke up with me. I didn't think it would be fair to use this girl as a "replacement" for my ex. I have decided to be single for a while until I'm fully over my ex. Apparently, she was feeling these vibes also and was going to bring it up, but I did first. I am really lost as to what I am looking for in a woman. This girl was great, just we were too much alike. I was always comparing her to my ex in my head, which was not fair to her. My ex is a crazy wh*re now, this girl is very nice and traditional. I consider myself traditional, but right now I am lacking the ambition to persue somone, I don't want to hurt her or lead her on. We are going to be friends, but nothing else. I'm glad I brought it up, the sooner the better. So now I'm back to the single life, with my ex calling every once in a while to string me along, and me not having enough backbone to tell her to leave me alone. BTW, as I've said before, part of me wants her back, the other part doesn't. Back to square one, wish me luck. Anyone been in the same situation? Any advice?

Confused and frustrated,

cobro

[Genesis]

I think I recall responding to one of your posts in the past and I remember telling you that you may be on the rebound.

 

 

It is never a good idea to start dating again if you are not ready.

 

It took me a year before I could get into a relationship and be ok with it.

 

I did date however I just never got into a relationship, many of the guys I dated asked me to be their girlfriend but I said no b/c I was not over my ex yet.

[crookster_man]

cobro, I remember responding to one of your posts back in June. I think you were one of the first people I ever responded to. When I saw a few of your recent posts in regards to this relationship I was a bit worried.

 

By the way you were feeling back then I really doubt you can commit yet. Never do rebound. It will only hurt her and you in the long run. The only way you can learn and grow from an experience is to stop and reflect on it. That way you can gather what lessons you have learned, pick up the pieces and move on.

 

Anything less and you are selling yourself short. Obviously you didn't deal with the emotional baggage you felt and... Who would have guessed it has reared its ugly head again. the only way to put it to rest is to face your daemons and understand them.

 

I wish you the best of luck, we will be here.

[bzborow1]

Hi there,

 

I can tell from the subject name as well as the tone of your post that you don't seem to like women very much these days. You commented on your ex being a whore so I'm assuming she cheated on you? Well if that's the case then you really should take as much time as you need to get over the negative opinions you have of women.

[SadMan]

Just when u think you are alone on this, someone out there is experiencing the exact same thing......

 

I am in the EXACT same thing u are going through... I am confindent to say 95% simlar.

 

I myself need some advice as well on this. I dont want to lead her on, I just dont want to be alone and it feels good to have someone there to hold on to, watch movie with, have dinner with. It just feels "Good" not to be alone.

 

I just dont know what I want anymore........ I am like a living dead that is just waiting the day to go by day by day........

 

If anyone have anyadvice on this, tell me too.............................

 

thx

[Genesis]

HELLO MEN OR BOYS!

 

Just be friends it makes me so sick when a guy just uses you for company just b/c he is too weak to stand on his own two feet.

 

Deal with your issues with out dragging someone else into it.

 

If you can not stand to be alone you do not need to have a girlfriend in my opinion.

 

I hope these poor girls that you are using wake up and see you guys for what you really are.

 

lonely, needyand dependent. You do not have to be that way. Learn to enjoy your friends company or your own.

 

Good Luck, I hope I did not offend anyone.

[headoverheels]

Gentlemen,

 

I am going through the same problem except I am a few months/processes behind. I just finished being in 6 year relationship/engagement where my girlfriend had an emotional affair with a co-worker. She has decided to stay with that person because she feels that she is no longer in love with me. I have not reached the point where I feel comfortable dating someone and although I know it feels better to have someone there I do not want to lie to myself as well as the other person involved. There are a million questions that I keep asking myself, "What did I do wrong," or "What could I have done differently". I fight over the fact that I lost someone that was my lover and my best friend, and her family was an extension of my family. It has been extremely difficult, but in order for me to move on to "dating" I feel I need to just live life and understand what I enjoy doing most. I need to rediscover the things that I find to be fulfilling in life and once I have reached a comfortable level with myself, I can begin dating. I hope this may be helpful and maybe one of you has advice on how to cope with the pain? Something that can help ease the sting a little.