Uh Oh!!! I came across the pictures.

[Orlander]

Well, I was backing up some files onto my external backup drive and I came accross a folder that had my ex's name on it followed by the word "archive". I initially took steps to archive and put away all these folders back in February when my ex initiated NC and I knew the relationship was over.

 

I guess I missed a folder. Or maybe I subconsciously left it there? Well, whatever the reason, I looked in the folder and at the pics and movies. There were pics scanning the 4 years we dated as well as a few movies taken at birthdays and Christmases.

 

I started out ok. Lately, I had been feeling like the relationship was all just a dream, but "POW", it was real alright!! Things I realized: I'm not the same happy person I used to be and I really really loved her more than anyone else ever.

 

I cried for about an hour. It hurt. Memories came back, memories where we were happy together and I was kinda thrown back into that time, over a year ago, when we were still together. I looked at my life now and it seriously feels like I will never be happy again...that I will never find love again or laugh like I did.

 

A feeling of thanfulness did come over me as well though. One of the things that was missing in my life, which I believe helped faciliate the breakup was my lack of gratefulness and gratitude for what I have in life. It's still a struggle each and every day, but I sincerely hope that my ex is happy and I prayed tonight to God that she got over me and is happy with someone else.

 

I guess it was good also to see again that once I was loved very very much and had a family. It's my greatest desire to have what I had again....to be loved and cherished and have a relationship with someone of passion, warmth, laughter, smiles and sincere trust.

 

I wish this to everyone else out there. I am truly thankful for having had 4 years with my ex. Many people never have 4 days of fulfillment and love I had. I am truly bessed.

 

Though, I think i'll stay away from those pictures.

 

 

Orlander

[joyce1412]

sounds like you responded really well despite being blindsided by those photos. i think i'd just end up crying and hoping my ex doesn't make it with his new girl.

 

you really sound like a mature, evolved, good person. so good for you.

[Dako]

I wish this to everyone else out there. I am truly thankful for having had 4 years with my ex. Many people never have 4 days of fulfillment and love I had. I am truly blessed.

O man

You really are a thoughtful guy.

I had some similar experiences and yesterday got clobbered by some reminders of my ex. Those ghosts persist for a long time, but it's the cost of a deep relationship.

I understand the feeling of wanting others to feel that same joy.

[friscodj]

I guess it was good also to see again that once I was loved very very much and had a family. It's my greatest desire to have what I had again....to be loved and cherished and have a relationship with someone of passion, warmth, laughter, smiles and sincere trust.

 

I wish this to everyone else out there. I am truly thankful for having had 4 years with my ex. Many people never have 4 days of fulfillment and love I had. I am truly bessed.

 

Oh man, I've felt the way you described before...and I've come accross pictures and lost it as well...

 

Listen to me O-Man, I'm sure everyone else on this site would agree with me that you are an awesome guy. I know you are, it is apparent in your posts and your avatar. It would be a damn travesty and injustice for God to deprive you and the amazing woman coming your way the privelege of having what your described above.

 

If there is one person I can think of who has a lot of good things coming his way it is you my friend...I mean that...

[Spawn]

aww...Orlander. You are doin good mate. Better put it away for some more time until you are ok with goin thru it.

 

All that is left of her with me is a card and a small symbol, i thought i could throw it away on her bday this 18th Aug but i couldn't and i won't. I didn't wish her either

 

As it very well seems we can't be together...

 

You will be loved again, and i believe we have somethin good to offer to any girl so hang in there.

[fifregister]

oh no....i'm so sorry you had a rough time!!! i admire your ability to see things in a positive light.

 

hang in there.

[brando]

O,

 

I can identify with your post. I am sure it hurt like hell to come accross those pictures, i remember finding some wedding pictures of my ex and I after i had moved and unpacked. I went through all of the emotions..and it cut me deep. I had to just tear the pics up and throw them away.

 

You are definitely moving forward. To feel greatful for the four years you two had shared is a strong sign of you healing.

 

You will get there, and you will love and be loved agin.

 

be well O,

B.

[notanymore]

The way you brought yourelf back to your normal self is truly amazing

 

you ve inspired me mate,i m back , chin up... thanks to you.

 

take care

cheers

[Orlander]

Listen to me O-Man, I'm sure everyone else on this site would agree with me that you are an awesome guy. I know you are, it is apparent in your posts and your avatar. It would be a damn travesty and injustice for God to deprive you and the amazing woman coming your way the privelege of having what your described above.

I'm...speechless. Thank you for your kind words. I'm grateful to everyone here.

 

Orlander

[friscodj]

I'm...speechless. Thank you for your kind words. I'm grateful to everyone here.

 

Orlander

 

The thing is they are not just "kind words", I really believe them to be truth. I'm just reporting the news...it's CNN up in here O-man

[LONESOUL]

Orlander~you help allot of people here with your kind words of wisdom. I am sorry to hear you had a rough time. You have the ability to see the place you are from a very different light and to share that perspective with others.

It gives me hope that, as I continue to grow and go through this that I can get to that place where the anger is subsiding and the thankfulness begins.

Take good care of yourself while you are down a bit, and yes, do indeed stay

away from those photo's..

[lozic21]

Ugh, don't you hate that feeling when you look at the pics of when you were happy/loved? I threw A LOT of mine out that had my ex in them when we broke up....then very recently I had to pack stuff up to come back to college and I found my favorite one of us, and I couldn't help but cry. I was tempted to throw it out, but I know one day (hopefully) I'll be able to just look at that picture and not feel any sadness or pain, just the memory of our happiness. That is probably the only picture I have left of him so I didn't want to throw it out and regret it in the future, when I actually am over him, so I put it in the top of my closet where I'll never have to see it unless I really want to. It's so hard to see those old pictures and memories, like a stab in the heart..

 

You seem like a really great guy O, (plus you're hot on your avitar , seems any girl would be lucky to have you. I am confident you will find someone else when the time is right.

[Orlander]

Thanks Lonesoul and Lozic, for your awesome, kind words. Everything else of "ours" I boxed up and sent off to my dad for safe keeping. I guess I kept all the old reminders because I hoped to heal enough one day to open the box back up again and look at everything and let it remind me of the fact that I was loved very much once by this woman.

 

I kept a couple of pics from the relationship I had before my current ex (which was even more devestating a breakup on me). I have one picture laying around of my ex with a friend of mine and every time I look at that picture I feel....not a darned thing!! I just think "Oh, that was a fun day when that picture was taken."

 

So, I know I'll get over this girl too and be able to look at the pictures, movies and memorabilia and think "Oh cool, that was fun." Just waiting for that day.

 

 

Orlander

[Spawn]

offtopic: wots that doggys name orlander....it looks cho sweet.

[Silentlyfor]

Ya know... something similar happened in the last couple of days with me. I came accross her blog by accident and couldn't help read a couple of entries. It hurt... A lot of things were forced down my throat.

 

I can and will agree. I am happy I did have a lot of fun times with my ex and I did enjoy the intimacy and learning about her when we were together. I did appreciate all the gift she gave me through out the relationship and fulfilling her need for sensitive guy. I am happy because I was always there for her when I thought that was the right thing to do. I was happy I had my first Christmas with her and a family... for the first time in my life. I'm happy... well... because I gave chocolates and roses to a women for the first time in my life as well as an astounding valentine card.

 

Ya know.... you're right. Mabey that wasn't a waste of a year after all... I did what I could, right? And I obviously had enought joy with the relationship to stick with it, didn't I? How can I feel bad about doing what I though was right out of love?

 

thanks man. You saved me a lot more grief. I think something a bit more objective is a great way of looking at this.