I can't trust my old friend

[LONESOUL]

I need to vent. It sucks when your so called friends are there for your ex and

not for you. This friend was her friend first but be have all been

good friends for 7 years. My ex is allot more outgoing then I am,

a life of the party type person, and although my ex FRIEND kept telling me

that I needed to get out of the relationship, because my ex was so screwed

up, it appears she has chosen to remain friends with her and not with me.

(I have called over to the house a few times and the ex was there...yet I have not been invited in 9 weeks, since the break up)

But the really tricky part is that we work together (the ex friend and I) and

I am always afaid I will hear things about my ex I am not ready to hear. (she has moved on etc..I am pretty sure of that anyway but...) I don't want to hear about the good times they are all having yada yada, and it sucks. It hurts, it hurts bad. I already told my ex friend all of this because she was throwing me attitude for not speaking to her, but as the ex and I were breaking up she would tell her all my business and it pissed me off. She always

said she didn't want to be in the middle but she always put herself there and created drama. (which with My ex did not take much because she is a drama queen anyway!) I guess it good riddens to them both, but now I feel like I

have 2 issues of mistrust to deal with, ex's and friends...

This whole mess just really hurts bad. I know it is a learning experence and

all of that, and I don't remember who said it but I am sort of with the poster that said they did not agree that it is better to have loved and lost then to

never have loved at all. I wish this releationship had not ever happened.

It has changed me, and I know it is forever, my challange is to make it a positive change...and I just don't know. One hour I am better, the next I am bittter... ***sigh**

[Dako]

Breakups suck for lots of reasons, and losing friends is a big part of it.

As you said, good riddance to disloyal friends.

 

However...

I've also been those friends, and wonder how well I performed when my friends broke up leaving clouds of emotion and suspicion.

I lost a herd of friends when my wife punted me even though she and I are on good terms. Some people just can't handle the changes and start their own little dramas.

 

Moving on to new friends...

[LONESOUL]

Thanks for the reply Dako. You are SO right, breaking up sucks for so many reasons I have lost count..

I lost my home, I lost my family, I am not from this town (my ex is~ and has a huge family) and I have lost my only local close friend.

But you know, the more I post and the more I read of other peoples posts the more I really do become convinced that SOMEDAY (pray pray..) I will

truly KNOW in my heart that I am not the one who lost anything at all and

that I gained so much more than I ever dreamed just by knowing I deserved better and entering the fight of my life (literally...with myself) for my

future happiness and my dignity.

[onewithbooks]

I know exactly what you mean. When my ex fiance went away so did the money I gave to help out, gone were my dogs (and I havent seen them since Nov ~ and yes my heart breaks about it) and our circle of friends all went with the ex too. Nice huh? I lost the majority of my friends due to the ex, and now I was totally alone. (All of which I felt was totally unfair, bc I had been the main source of support in the relationship, and whenever we got to do things with them, I was the one paying for things. That is until the ex started going out without me, then my mom was just conveniently forgotten when it came time for rent). In hindsight, I was really better off, but it still hurt a lot. Espec. considering that not 2 mos after the final break, the ex was dating one of them. Now I have much better friends, and much less drama. Good riddence to the things I DONT need. I deserved better, just like you.

 

At this point it has been almost a year since the final break, but it only took me a few months to see how much better off I was. I pray that you will come to that day soon. Its hard, no doubt about it, but you can get through it. Once you begin to see it, there will be days when it will still be hard, I wont lie to you, but you will be able to rely on your strength to get you through. Plus as a bonus ~ you always have enotalone!!

 

Take good care of yourself

L~

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Interesting thing about "friends". Losing friends can happen if you are in a circle of friends and have a falling out with one of them. That happened to me. I had a falling out with one and since she was the bullying type, the others just followed her and started having less and less to do with me. Fake friends are everywhere. Don't let it get you down, you are better off without them. You will make your own way.

[LONESOUL]

Icnoland,

Sounds like you had a rough road too. I miss our cat too, I'm sorry about your dogs, I totally get that. I was the one paying for everything too, with our friends, last November I took the whole crew to an Elton John concert, nobody paid for a thing. I did it because I wanted to, not because I expected

anything in return, except for what I thought I already had, their love and friendship. WRONG. I know I am better off, but it really stinks. Thanks for

sharing.

[LONESOUL]

CAB~thanks! So true, so true. I hope I can trust again though, life is so short.

Plus this I am just completely not myself right now, and I don't know who besides myself to trust at all anyway...thanks again for the help.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Oh, I forgot to mention, those friends who had less and less to do with me, always came around when they wanted my help or advice! Users, who needs them!