He Was Always Cheating On Me

[Beaker5]

OMGOSH you guys,

I'm actually at work right now and I'm tearing up because I'm just realizing that there was never a point where he was faithful to me during those 2.75 years. I think he was always cheating at me with someone at some point during the relationship. I feel so stupid. Help.

[annie24]

I heard it on Oprah... "now that you know better, you will DO better."

[rose2summer]

Sorry to hear that Beaker. This guy was a waste of energy for you, it's time to let him go. We need to work through this together. I told you no looking at his pictures, I need you to help me do the same. I was checking my online photo account to see if my ex posted pictures from his jetskiing/boating trip, and I need to stop. Let's get through this together. Let's LOSE the LOSERS!

[Beaker5]

Thanks annie24 and thanks rose2summer. I just feel so terrible. Rose2summer, I didn't know you still checked his profile...I actually really stopped checking after I found out....I thought about it but I totally stopped checking. We definitely do need to help each other.

[rose2summer]

I don't check his profile, he's not on myspace anymore, but I was told that he was looking for mine. I look at my kodak gallery account, it's an online photo site, where you upload pictures, which is not good. BAD ROSE! Yes, let's help each other here.

[Majoraslayer]

I've been in your shoes before; my ex was exactly the same way. However, keep in mind that you are no longer having to worry about what he's doing behind your back; you're free! There are guys out there who would rather sever their genitals than cheat on the woman they love, and you have your free pick of them! That bastard that did that to you is no longer a part of your life, and you're in control of that.

[Beec]

Beaker5, it's going to hurt for a while, but you are much better off now knowing than having him think he was fooling you. For a while, you will grieve a little for your wasted time, effort and emotion. Then you will begin to feel better, then you'll begin to move on. Your time, effort and emotion were wasted, because he did not give you what you were giving him.

[rose2summer]

Where are those men majorslayer?

[Beec]

Where are those men majorslayer?

 

Well, I would not go so far as majorslayer in severing my genitals, the thought of it hurts too much already. But there are honest, faithful decent guys all over the place. You just need to be able to judge character and find out which guys have it. Mostly both come with experience.

[brando]

Yeah I agree with beec and majoraslayer, their are guys who will not cheat on gf's. It goes both ways men and women cheat. It isn't all one sided.

 

As for beaker5, are you certain that he was unfaithful for the entire time of the relationship, or are you assuming this.??

 

I think he was always cheating at me with someone at some point during the relationship

 

 

be careful here, you may be causing yourself more grief than necessary.

[Majoraslayer]

Where are those men majorslayer?

 

....ummm......*raises hand*....

[Karibo]

My ex cheated on me all the time, openly! He always had excuses, blaming it on his past, and how he couldn't handle loving me so much coz he was scared of losing me!

 

Well, it will hurt for a while, really badly, then when you are over him you will be grateful for all you have learnt from this situation - well atleast I am anyway. I learnt how to be a strong person and let him go even though i totally adored him (God knows why!) I even learnt over the past couple of years to keep saying no everytime he has tried to worm his way back in. Only the other night he tried to make me jealous again lol. But now it just makes me laugh, coz although he treated me like crap and thought I'd stay, now, two years on, he's the one who can't let go! He tries to make me jealous but it's so transparent, trying to make out he is happy without me, yet still grabbing women in front of me like always, kissing them then when i ignore him, him coming up and begging to talk to me! What a loser! I have no time for him anymore.

 

Soon you will come to learn very high self-respect and will know how to detect a loser right from the start and you will be more tuned into finding and being with the right sort of men - genuine men who have respect for themselves and for others, who will adore you truly because they are capable of healthy relationships.

 

I hope you aren't blaming yourself at all - I used to think it was me. I stayed so long because I desperately tried to make him like me more than any other girl. I wanted him to be obsessed with me like i was with him. And now he is, but i've grown up and see it's just unhealthy and annoying coz he just won't let it be.

 

Soon you will realise that you're not gunna let this bastard ruin your life anymore for a single second. The thought of how pathetic he is will make you realise how much you want your life to be a success. I think of my ex these days and truly pity him. I see him out and about and see he is still the same person - a loser who knows it but has no strength to sort his life out. He still blames everyone else but himself for how crap his life is.

 

You will think of how much your ex is a loser, and it will be an inspiration to be all you can be.

[rose2summer]

I can really relate to beaker and karibo on here. I don't think men realize when you drift, whether it be cheating emotionally or physically, it makes us wonder? Is it that we aren't beautiful enough, what else can a man possibly want? Why would someone always want someone else? Why the need to stray? It just frustrates me.

[Beaker5]

That's actually a good point you make rose2summer...I've actually asked myself those questions...like, what's the point in even getting into a relationship with someone if you're always going to want someone that is more attractive and you'll never be content with what you have. I really hate that...It's really damaging to the other person's self esteem.

[rose2summer]

Yes, I think why bother. There is obviously going to be someone who is more attractive because they had breast implants or dress provocatively, etc. I get frustrated, because men seem to want a better and better model. I think I am just mad at my ex right now, because my previous 2 exes made me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth, but my last ex, was so degrading towards me. I keep focusing on his comments and getting frustrated.

And the funny thing, he was the least attractive guy I have ever dated, but wanted me to be the most beautiful. Ugh!

[rose2summer]

Beaker, I am glad I have you to get through this with. Let's be a strong team and push each other forward.

[Beaker5]

wow karibo...it's weird how you said he would always blame everyone else because that is exactly what he used to do. He could never admit to anything that he did wrong and would always twist everything to make it seem like it was my fault. Do all cheaters have those characteristics?

[rose2summer]

I have noticed that to be the case. Cheaters can be abusers and abusers will always blame you for doing it, saying you pushed me to or something similar. Don't fall for that game. My ex said I pushed our break-up, it was my fault, no way! How can he blame going on an online dating site while we were together, not wrong. Men, we can't live with them, but we CAN live without them.

[Beec]

I have noticed that to be the case. Cheaters can be abusers and abusers will always blame you for doing it, saying you pushed me to or something similar. Don't fall for that game. My ex said I pushed our break-up, it was my fault, no way! How can he blame going on an online dating site while we were together, not wrong. Men, we can't live with them, but we CAN live without them.

 

Rose, the person you describe is not a man. He may be male, but he's no man. Once you get some of a real man, you'll not ever want to be without one. Of course, you'll need to be a heck of a woman to keep one around.

[Beaker5]

Definitely rose2summer...we should definitely help each other through this. And what sucks about them blaming you is eventually, you start to blame yourself.

[rose2summer]

Yes, it's all a game. My ex is trained in psychiatry, so he very well knows what he is doing to me, by blaming me for everything. He manipulates my mind and then I end up very confused. NC all the way, we will get through this. I am working right now on figuring how to block websites, so I cannot view his kodak gallery photos. It frustrates me because he still has all of the pictures of us up on there, kissing and stuff, ugh, take them down please! I took the pictures of us down and deleted everything, wish he would do the same.

[Karibo]

To be honest - i don't think cheating has always got to do with looks at all. Soemetimes people just cheat with anyone because they are low in self-esteem and want to know they 'have it' and try to get confidence by leeching off other people.

 

Also some might cheat because they want out and hope you'll dump them coz they aren't strong enough to let go themselves.

 

For some guys and girls, cheatring is a defence mechanism - they are too frightened to get close to someone, but i nstead of being adult about it and not getting into a relationship in the first place, they just cheat.

 

Me ex cheated openly to try and push me away coz we got too close for comfort and he's had a childhood of neglect. BUT THAT IS STILL NO EXCUSE!!!

[Goldfish6888]

Hi

 

I just read all of this post and I also can't understand the cheating end of things, especially when my ex, talked with disdain about friends who treat their g/f badly and there he was doing worse things by cheating.

 

I'm going to come through strong and not allow this to burn me - but it really opens your eyes....to watching their actions...not words.