I'm feeling weak tonight.

[Riggz41510]

I saw my ex tonight after I dropped my daughter off.. We walked right by each other and didn't say one word. It was the most awkward thing ever.. I wanted to grab her so bad and hold her and never let her go..

 

I have been fighting the urge to text her all night!! Despite all of her short comings and all that we have been through.. I love her so much!!

 

My daughter keeps asking when am I coming home.. Her son hugged me tonight and he started to cry.. He says he misses me.. I don't know what to do.. I feel so weak tonight!!

 

I miss being with my family.. I miss reading stories to my daughter every night.. I miss helping her son with his homework.. I miss my daughter crawling in the bed with me in the middle of the night..

 

I'm hurting so bad right now!!!!!!!

[joyce1412]

i'm so sorry. stay strong! no texts!

 

another day of NC is another day to be even more proud of how you're handling yourself. keep it up.

[melrich]

Theres not much anyone can say unfortunately. I feel for your situation but it is something you just have to go through.

[Ians Mommy]

The fact that you miss both your daughter and HER son makes me think that you would actually like to see them more often, not just her.

 

You sound like a good dad (even sort of a dad to her son) and just because you and your girlfriend/fiance/wife (sorry, I don't know which) split up, you should still try to be in their lives as much as you can.

 

For a start and it might possibly bring you two closer over time, maybe just text her and tell her that you miss them and would like to spend more time with her son and your daughter and maybe, just maybe, by you spending time with them it might bring you two closer as I said before.

 

I'm sort of new to the relationship advice so if anyone thinks I'm telling someone the wrong things, let me know please. I don't want to give people completely outrageous advice haha.

[Riggz41510]

I spend a lot of time with my daughter.. The only issue with her son is his dad is in his life.. He's just used to seeing his mom and I together. I've been in his life since he was 2, he is now 10. So I know its real hard on him..

 

You know the crazy thing is like I've said before, I know we are no good for each other, but it still doesn't make me feel any better when I have a weak moment!!

[Riggz41510]

Theres not much anyone can say unfortunately. I feel for your situation but it is something you just have to go through.

 

Thank you. You are very right, I just posted here so I wouldn't send a e-mail or a text.. Those moments with the children make it so difficult!!

[Gator]

Hey Chedda,

 

I'm sorry man, you sound like a good guy. It sucks you have to hurt so much. Stay strong, it will get better.

[Riggz41510]

Hey Chedda,

 

I'm sorry man, you sound like a good guy. It sucks you have to hurt so much. Stay strong, it will get better.

 

Thanks Gator.. I have my days.. some days I feel so strong and others I feel so weak..

[Riggz41510]

I just want to get better.. I feel like I took 10 steps backwards.. I still felt the butterflies in my stomach when I saw her.

 

I wondered how can 2 people who shared so much with one another, just pass by each other like we don't exist??

 

Maybe she doesn't even think about it.. Man its weighing heavy on my heart.

[loveisaparadox]

"I just want to get better.. I feel like I took 10 steps backwards.. I still felt the butterflies in my stomach when I saw her.

I wondered how can 2 people who shared so much with one another, just pass by each other like we don't exist??

Maybe she doesn't even think about it.. Man its weighing heavy on my heart."

 

 

I get the same feeling, it's gut wrenching, when a simple thing like a hug has become awkward - I held this woman while she gave birth to our child!

 

But I can tell you this with reasonable confidence: she *does* think about it. In fact, she probably feels very guilty for putting you and her children through this terrible experience. But if she is anything like my ex, then she has made up her mind that it is the right thing to do, and even though she wants to reach out and hold you too, she will not do that until she knows she can truly love you. My ex faltered in her resolve many times, and I gladly welcomed the false hope. And it only created more complexity and more pain. I knew it wasn't in her heart, but I wanted it anyway, I was desperate for her intimacy.

 

Mabye it will never be in her heart. But if there is a chance, however remote, and if I understand this process correctly, then the love & trust will only return if it is given time and space. It sucks. I know. I'm living it.

 

__________________

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” Mother Teresa

[LONESOUL]

Chedda~I am so sorry to hear this is hurting you so badly. When a family is no

longer together it is really a tough thing. I believe it will get better in time

and please remember that there really are other people who are going through just about the same thing. We can all make it~and be better off when we get through it. You are doing the right thing by posting when you feel you need to. Take care