I'm Such An Idiot!

[aboynamedmoose]

I was just reading thru some old emails that I'd sent the ex and she sent back to me towards the beginning of our break up. She just said she wanted space and time to heal. She said she couldn't see me or talk to me because she didn't want to see me get upset or be confused.

 

I swear she must have stumbled onto this site before me.

 

Now 3 months later I feel that I've pushed her away forever and had the NC forced on me. If I'd just listened to her and respected her wishes.

 

DOH!

[Dako]

Maybe you're wrong. She may have been letting you down easy, and now you're overanalyzing as we all do after the dust settles.

 

If she wanted you, she'd beat down the door even if it was out of character, right?

[aboynamedmoose]

I don't think she'd beat down the door.

 

We had a lot of ups and downs and I was very selfish and she put her heart on the line.

 

She has a lot of pride and I really pushed, begged, pleaded, annoyed, etc. I can't help but think If I'd followed NC from the beginning we'd be together now. Or at least in a better position than what has come of things.

[tylercdurden2004]

If she wanted you, she'd beat down the door even if it was out of character, right?

 

 

Ha! Thats the phrase I have been looking for. Best way to say it.

[desertnomad]

Try not to beat yourself up to much. I have done the same to myself over the last two months and sometimes I just want to crawl out of my skin or hear myself screaming inside my head about how could I have not done this or that differently. But, You cant expect to know 'everything' about everything. If someone loved you they would come back. Its tough not to overanalyze as Dako said. We can always find things that we need to do better but if we waited to be perfect before we did anything nothing would ever get done. Noone has the right to expect perfection from anyone. Thats the toughest thing about being trapped in time...you cant go back.