I broke up with her...

[TheDoctor]

Hey guys, it's me again, and I just wanted to update you guys on what happened like I promised. Me and her broke up 3 days ago after we got into another huge argument and I basically told her that I'm dying for this change in my life and I know she is somewhere deep down inside. Since then this is what has happened each day

 

Night 1- She IMS me and tells me she's sick of her life that she's going to kill herself. She posted a message on a suicide forum asking the easiest way out and she said she was just gonna take a bunch of sleeping pills and put a bag around her head in the bathtub. Her mom was out of town on vacation and she was all alone there so I began to become a bit concerned. So, I lied to her and told her the police are coming and instead I secretley just called her mom's friend whom went there and just calmed her down. She then called me 3 am and asked me if we can just be friends atleast so it can be easier on the two of us, I said sure but no more than that she said ok.

 

Day 1- She called me and told me she is really at peace with this break up that while she is very angry and empty inside she juts doesn't want this anymore. She said she wants to move on as well, but at the same time she wants to talk to me for therapeutic reasons. These are the times her beauty really comes out where she is very humble, mature but unfortunatley these characteristics disappear when we are together.

 

Day 2- She shows up at my house in the morning to give me a hug and tells me she just had to pick up her dogs kennel (which she did) and that shes sorry she just showed up but she was hanging out with her friend who lives like 2 miles from me. She left and told me she'd call me later. She went out to a bar that night, and ended up back home with her girlfriends and hung out all night.

 

Day 3- Today, she is planning on going to another bar or club and doing her thing. She has already made a myspace which states she's single. Seems like she's doing everything to get over me which is good news.

 

 

I guess that's about it so far, as far as how I'm doing well, it's very difficult. I am having my moments where it is very painful all the way to moments like right now where I'm feeling at peace with all of this. Either way it's a very tough life change, and I hope I can find the strength to move on and not lose my steam. I feel all the usual symptoms, however I've been going back to running at nights alot to get energy out and I'm going to the gym as well. My cousin is a club promoter and literally dates a billion women so he has promised me we're gonna go double-dating alot but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that just yet. I don't want to move on too fast or slow.

Other than that, thank you guys alot for your support and advice. If it wasn't for members like raykay, and you guys who posted on my posts I wouldn't have done what I did. I'm sure I'll be posting in a few weeks about how depressed I am so see you guys then! LOL

[RayKay]

Doctor,

 

Phew, I am SO relieved you did end it....this was a TOXIC relationship and was dragging you down in a massive way.

 

Even though you know that, it is not easy...so it is normal to be feeling a bit down and worried and guilty. But...do NOT let that have you going back to her again....stay strong.

 

Also...I know you want to help her and be a good guy - but you are not her therapist. Don't be her "therapist" at the expense of your own healing and sanity.

 

Stick to that running and working out..it will do loads for your sanity.

 

- RayKay

[TheDoctor]

Doctor,

 

Phew, I am SO relieved you did end it....this was a TOXIC relationship and was dragging you down in a massive way.

 

Even though you know that, it is not easy...so it is normal to be feeling a bit down and worried and guilty. But...do NOT let that have you going back to her again....stay strong.

 

Also...I know you want to help her and be a good guy - but you are not her therapist. Don't be her "therapist" at the expense of your own healing and sanity.

 

Stick to that running and working out..it will do loads for your sanity.

 

- RayKay

 

I am going to stick to those things for sure, as far as talking to her to be honest with you. I broke up with a girl ( whom ironically was the 1st girl I ever posted about years ago on this site) and her and I didn't talk for nearly 8 months in a no contact type of break up. The experience was traumatizing for me and literally the minute I talked to her 8 months later I got over her. I felt like a load was lifted and all my emotions drained in the course of a night. I just don't want to go down that route and not talk to her for months, I'd much rather it be this way where we are at peace with this and have no animosity towards one another. I hope that it doesn't blow up in my face though.

[coollady1957]

I too am so glad you took the right steps to end this relationship. I realize it is difficult and a lot of hurt inside of you.

 

I agree with RayKay, don't be her therapist so to speak. She may use this as a tool to keep in close contact with you. It would be great if you could go complete NC, but at the very least keep it very very limited if you can.

 

Allow her famiily and friends, to be her shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen when see needs someone.

 

Good luck and stay strong wit this decision. I too feel that you are going to so much better off in the long haul. Take care.