This is my biggest problem

[Riggz41510]

How do you really let go? I have gone through this break up make up crap with my ex twice. It seems that whenever I start to heal so to speak, she comes back and wants too work it out.

 

How do you let go of the hope that "THIS WILL BE THE TIME WE FINALLY GET IT RIGHT"? We have done this exact song and dance twice and boy when she lets me go, SHE LETS GO!! But man when she comes back its like I'm a quarterback and its an all out blitz and my offensive line can't protect me!!

 

The familiarity and the child we share just makes her feel so normal for me. Its like I can't even ever imagine myself falling in love again, let alone getting close to someones family etc..

 

It as if she has me in a trance. I know the relationship won't work, I know that she will never change and be who I want her too be, but I guess the endorphin rush I feel when I know we are back together, out weighs all of that.

 

Any advice or just your take.. Thanks

[Meow18]

I think your feelings are completely normal.

 

But like you said, things could never work out. You both just aren't the right person for each other, and no matter how many times you try you both are who you are, and your not going to change.

 

I think you need to have a serious talk with her. You need to tell her that you need space for awhile, and that she deserves it too. You both deserve to get over each other because you both know it won't work out.

 

You have a child together? Of course you should still see your child, but when she drops the child off, or you go pick the child up, make sure that you have limited contact with her.

 

You don't have to suddenly hate each other and never speak to each other again, but I really think limited contact is best for the both of you right now..

[Riggz41510]

We don't talk at all right now.. NOTHING!! I communicate through her family as far as my child is concerned.

 

I'm just afraid that if she comes back and says lets work it out, or lets try counseling etc.. I don't think I'm strong enough to tell her no!!

 

As far as changing goes, I have made so many sacrifices and changes for her, she never wants to compromise unless its one of the times when she's trying to get me back and she will do whatever to make me happy.. She gets upset when I mention the things about her that bother me.. She says I'm nagging.. I just always hoped one day it would click in her head as it did for me. I wanted her too know that i love you and I just want you to enjoy making me happy the same way I do you!!

[Riggz41510]

That we would not have sex unless I physically ran her bath water, gave her a bath and then a massage, every time!!!.. I would ALWAYS make sure she was sexually pleased first and she would get hers roll over and go to sleep 85% of the time. Now I didn't mind spoiling her a bit, but she would never do nothing nice for me.. with the exceptions of birthdays etc.. I let her get away with so much in the name of "LOVE".

 

Whenever we would have an argument or a disagreement she would just shut down.. I mean she wouldn't say one word at all..

 

She now has a great job and makes tons of money. I was the one sweating it out and holding down the fort when she had her previous jobs. Now some other guy is getting to reap the benefits of what I helped create..

[Riggz41510]

It seems like every thing around me reminds me of her.. Every where I go.. We did so many things together its like a memory of her all around me..

 

She picked out my car, the color I painted it.. She has a Honda Accord and it seems like every car I see on the road is a Honda.. She used to wear this perfume by Dolce and Gabana called "Light Blue" I smell it every where I go..

 

I was trying to be intimate the other night with a young lady and low and behold she had on the exact same kind of underwear my ex was wearing the last time we had sex.. It messed up the moment for me..

 

My apartment she helped me decorate and pick out my furniture.. She's real good at putting things together. She put together my computer stand and my TV stand.. Every time I look at them I can see her sitting on the floor sweating trying to put it together for me.. Its those moments I can't shake.. I try to think of the bad times but a good time quickly pops into my mind and out weighs the bad..

 

I remember sitting in the hospital room when she gave birth to my daughter and I was feeding her ice.. and just staring in her eyes, thinking to myself she was it for me.. Or I remember when I had appendicitis and I woke up after my surgery and she had squeezed up in a little tiny ball on the hospital bed to lay with me..

 

Damn I'm getting all teary eyed now..Let me stop!!!