I feel like i am losing my mind.

[tobetterdays]

Hey everyone, i just need to vent because i am in a really dark place today.

On top of having my heart ripped out 5 weeks ago, I am in the process of changing careers and starting my internship, which was really stressing me out before everything happened unexpectedly.

 

I am in so much pain, my confidence is shattered, my self-esteem is non existent and i can barely think straight.. Since i discovered this forum, i have spent hours of my day at work, reading and reading..almost obsessively.

i don't think that is good and i will probably get fired if caught.

 

i need to snap out of it asap. i feel like i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown..cannot stop thinking of my ex..im trying to keep my chin up but it has been blindsided and broken.

please tell me it will get better!

[beebee]

hang in there darling... your in the beginning stages... i wish there was something i could say to you to ease your pain, but i cant... just know ive been there and done that and boy did i win the grand prize for pain!...

 

i will be praying for you... God Bless...

[Dako]

It will get better over time, but not in a week or two, but months, so settle in for a long wait. In the meanwhile, you have an internship to keep you busy. Being busy is the most important step, along with avoiding triggers of painful memories. Keep moving, change your surroundings and look ahead the same way you drive in the fog, focusing on what comes.

New things that appear will signify progress.

 

Hang in there and take in one day at a time.

[fifregister]

hey i'm so sorry that you're having a bad day. i was in the same exact situation a few months ago. found myself going on this site obsessively during work. i don't know what to say to make you feel better. just try to hang in there and take it one breath at a time. we're all here to listen.

[brando]

it takes time, it is a process. Try not to rush it and keep your head clear of thoughts of the ex.

[tobetterdays]

thank you people.

i know i need to focus on myself and keep busy..im doing my best. to have my love abandon me after 3.5 years and never speak to me again is really tough to swallow. i recognize that the days i spend trying to understand it are the days that i suffer the most. i am beginning to accept that it wasnt my fault, which took me a while to realize. I cannot fathom being like this for months..but in the end, im sure i will be a better, stronger, and more experienced man.. you people are angels.

[desertnomad]

hang in there ... I am doing the same thing obsessively reading these forums to try to understand what happened to my 3.5 year relationship and get some kind of support

[Dako]

Each month will get easier, but the highs and lows will surprise you.

It took me about 6 months after a 27 year relationship to get functioning.

Hopefully you can do it in less time.

[tobetterdays]

thanks again. i have to have faith in what all of you are saying. it is comforting to know that i am not alone, and that people eventually do get over the pain.

[finewhine]

Maybe once you start your internship, it will get better?

[tobetterdays]

Thanks Rocker.

I have calmed down signficantly since this morning. It is insane how your emotions fluctuate. Mornings are torturous for me. I cannot sleep past 6am.. i wake up from type of dream with her in it.. and feel like the end of the day is 7 years away. but i am taking one day at a time.. i am getting my appetite back which is a good sign. trying to gut it out and hope for the best..i deserve better than how i was abandoned..

[desertnomad]

I agree you deserve much better than that. It boggles the mind it really does after 3.5 years. Mornings are the worst time for me also. I dont know why that is maybe just waking up alone and knowing your on your own. Fortunately for me I have not dreamt about my ex once which is pretty strange because I used to dream about other ex's all the time. I dont know why that is. Take care.

[tobetterdays]

i have had a dream about her pretty much every night which royally sucks.

and i remember them all vividly. this morning. i woke up at 5am to a nightmare of me asking her is she was cheating on me.. she told me yes and i woke right up - like it just happened all over...couldnt fall back asleep.. i really hope these dreams end soon because it is no way to begin a day.

i just convince myself it was only a dream and go from there. its been almost 6 weeks and i thought i was feeling better a few days ago..but these last few days have been horrible..overwhelmingly depressed. just need to keep myself busy..and pray that this was God's way of pulling me out of a potential bad situation in the future.

[desertnomad]

Sorry man that really does suck. Someone told me about my situation that how you think about it will determine the quality of your life. And it seems that your trying to think about it in positive ways. Keeping busy is important. I have today off so its very hard. My days off were filled with happy times now I dread them even though I cant work 7 days a week. We just have to remember they are the ones that left us and the person who truly loved us wouldnt have done that. Its better to live in reality than illusion I guess no matter how tough it is. Like you I sure hope the pain goes away soon. The worst part is not being able to tell her how I feel since I considered her the one person in the world I could count on. How wrong I was.

[tobetterdays]

hey..any suggestions on helping your self esteem..my girl leaving me destroyed it..i am feeling really down on myself..both physically and mentally. just trying to go day by day. it is really like she died..but worse because she left me on her own accord and never contacted me again. i know she became unhappy because of my stress, doubts, and instability relative to my career change and the 75-100 miles we lived apart..but i know i was a great boyfriend-99% of the time. she bailed on me like i was nothing to her. just gotta keep moving forward i guess