So this is how a heart breaks.

[Taomagicdragon]

Well, it all began with a friend of mine, her and I would, over time, go on movie dates, cuddle, hold hands, be over the other's house, and generally spend time together. Things seemed to be progressing and I thought, for once, that my "be friends first, then build from that" policy might be working. With her, all life's conflicts were calmed, they ebbed away whenever she was around. With her not there, I felt secure in that I would see her again, and maybe tell her how I truly feel so we can take the next step in earnest.

 

Then concerns, mutual friends, and life itself came into view and I was all of a sudden too aware of the stares from people, the nay-saying of others, I believe she was too, for we both, somehow, cut it off without so much as a word as to explain why.

 

Six months past, and another guy attempts to seduce her, she recoils into anger towards him and towards me, now she does not want to even speak to me, it seems the friendship is waning like the sun's reach into a moonless dusk, the stars veiled by clouds of doubt and uncertainty. Telling her how I truly feel, at this point, is a lost cause.

 

She has told me and this other guy to go away, but I know the other guy will persist, driving, still, the wedge deeper between me and her. What I must do is show my love by denying myself what I want, and do as she wishes in this example. I have to disengage, and maybe, then, the tensions will cool, the firendship can reform, and maybe we can build up again.

 

The chance, though, of that plan succeeding are very slim, the other end of the spectrum is to make an emotional appeal to her, to make it clear my intentions are not to "have her" or to merely "seduce her" liek the other guy, but to earn her trust, her friendship, to earn the knowledge of what she likes, dislikes, and to then, if we both consent, move on so that we both could share in the other's heart. The other guy has a set goal, but a goal entails a guarantee that if one does A,B, and C, then they will achieve something. Love does nto work liek that, because no matterwhat YOU may do, the other still must want it.

 

I know I waited too long, squandered a year of chances, 525,600 of them, in fact. I can only hope for this winter's thaw to come soon, if at all.

[sumguy]

What do you mean stares from other people? Naysayers and the like? What could possibly be so obtrusive about two people as a couple that it draws the stares and apparent criticism of others?

 

Also, it sounds like the two of you have some built-up tension, things that should have been discussed and said that weren't because of the suddeness of the break off. I don't know if talking about it will help now...

 

And I don't know if this is good advice, but I'd tell the other guy to back off.

 

Hope this helped =)

[Taomagicdragon]

Well, the other guy has no chacne, and me forcing him to back off is just stooping into competition with him, which is beneath me and I will not turn this into two guys fighting over a girl, because right now, the girl wants neither.

 

It seems I am down to the last few cards the deck that Life has dealt me, and I doubt I have another trump card left.

[Gecko]

Though I don't have much experience in relationships I share a lot of the same thoughts towards love, and it feels like you're approaching this the right way.

 

I would love her for what she is, and let her know that you're there for her, whether she decides to go with this guy or not.

 

make it clear my intentions are not to "have her" or to merely "seduce her" liek the other guy, but to earn her trust, her friendship, to earn the knowledge of what she likes, dislikes, and to then, if we both consent, move on so that we both could share in the other's heart. The other guy has a set goal, but a goal entails a guarantee that if one does A,B, and C, then they will achieve something. Love does nto work liek that, because no matterwhat YOU may do, the other still must want it.

 

Hit the nail on the head there...