how can you tell when it's more than just sex?

[SeaBisquit]

how can you tell if a guy isn't using you for sex? or if they really like you. will they stick around even if they aren't looking for anything else but sex?

[Scout]

They call or email almost every day. They introduce you to their friends. They take you out on dates. When you want to see them, they're up for it - rather than the schedule always being on their time. They're affectionate, complimentary, and just seem really into you.

 

It's actually really obvious when someone cares for you. If after some period of time you still don't feel they do...that should be a big red flag.

[RayKay]

Generally they will show through their actions they want to be around you, outside the bedroom. Such as being proud to introduce you to friends, family, being fine with going on dates that are not focused on sex, talk about future plans with you, call you/email you, incorporate you into their loves, see you before 11:00 pm....

 

I don't know if there are "specifics" (well, if they ONLY want to see you to sleep with you that's a good indication they want you for sex only), it's just a sense you get about their overall feelings of you. You KNOW when someone is into you.

 

As for will they stick around...well, if they are getting what they want (sex) without strings, they may. Or they may not. Depends on the person.

 

And...no one can "use you" for sex unless you let them....

[Beec]

It's about what they put into the relationship, and it's also about them not trying to get things out of it.

 

But another good measure is meeting his friends and family. When you meet his friends, you are attractive enough for him to be seen with by those who matter, in his opinion. When he let's you meet and become friendly with his mother, that's a good measure he is not just there to get sex.

[chai714]

Hanging out during daylight hours is usually a good indication he's not just in it for sex.

 

RayKay and Beec answered this question pretty well. I agree with them.

[ClandestineMonk]

I've had relationships that were just me getting sexed. I would typically not hang out much with the girl unless I wanted sex. The "date" would be: Lead up to sex, the sex itself, then getting out of her presense ASAP.

[savannahohsavannah]

I think it takes time to know what a relationship is! During the courtship phase, if he just totally blows you off for a significant time period, you can guess pretty easily that he was simply playing you. *Hook Ups* are frequent in our society, and I agree, it's hard to know. Not giving it up too easily is a great way to get the playboys out of your life fast, I've found. It frees you up for the real men.

 

Savannah

[Momene]

If he gets the odd headache and still wants to see you, it's not just sex.

[Massari]

I can say I love my GF.. and I don't have to have sex with her all the time!! what I need is a phone call to hear her voice.. we are usually on the phone all the time when we are not together.. we try to see eachother everyday if possible. I can say that I love her and I am not just in for the sex. non the less the sex is Amazing . many timed we just drive around listen to music and I hold her hand. then she kisses me back. to me this means alot more then sex does in a relationship. we are planning to get married and stuff but then it might way too soon since we've been going out for 3 months.

[wexmen]

you may try to say no whenever he ask for it ,and notice his reponse to your reject.if he really care about you he will try to stick around with you without asking for sex .

 

in my opinion, having sex may strenghten relationship, but if sex dominate it, it could be a nightmare .

 

wish you found your true love.