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Afraid of change

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I usually post about my relationship problems with the guy I am dating. But this time, I have a little more on my plate. I started working at this college bar, and I loved it. I never dreaded coming to work, and after I started bartending there, I was even happier. I ended up getting fired, after things went down with my boyfriend. I cheated on him with another co worker, and after he found out, it was a disaster. I got SO wasted at the bar I work at, that, they basically ended up letting me go. It was So hard, since I loved my job, and if anything I was looking for emotional support during a hard time. My boyfriend and the guy I cheated on him with, and I, all worked together. When I got fired, I was so upset, but maintained the attitude that this would be better for my guy and I in order to work things out.

My boyfriend has since been pretty wonderful to me. We have worked on a lot of issues we were having before the incident. I finally found a new job, at another bar, serving/cocktailing. The bar is more upscale than the last one, and the money will be about the same, if not a little tiny bit less.


I feel very consumed with the memories of my old job, and my love for bartending. I am glad to have another job, but I miss the old one so much. I feel very depressed about it, and feel like life just isnt the same, especially since I no longer work with my boyfriend. I wish I could explain the feeling, of just disbelief, almost, how much things have changed. I hate it. I hate working with these new people, even though they are very nice. They have after-hours parties, which dont feel the same to me, since it is not the people I used to work with. I dont even know if this makes sense. I am just feeling so down about life.


I know that life does go on, but i just feel sad. is that normal?

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The best thing you can do when change comes is to roll with it and embrace it. Give this job a chance. I left a job I was at for seven years and absolutely hated the job I went to next (by choice, no less!). For at least six months I was unhappy there, but by the end of the year I loved it. I was resisting too much.


There is also the chance that your new job is sort of like a rebound job, similar to a rebound relationship. Maybe this is just the job you have until you find something better. Either way, life is about going forward, not back, and the best thing you can do for you and even your relationship is not to think too much about your old place and lament what happened. Make the new place as fun as is within your power.

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