I'm such a fool

[chocolady]

I'm so angry and hurt at the moment, I feel like I'm going to implode. I've just found out that the guy I was talking to for the last year, the guy I thought wanted me in real life, the guy I was faithful to in real life as I thought he was worth it. I thought we were building up to meeting but it turns out he doesnt want to meet me afterall.

 

He left his wife 3 years and lives alone and has had family problems with his son so he sees her often because of him.. I also wondered if he would get back with his ex so I let things ride because of those reasons as I thought he needed more time so I didnt put any pressures on him and I didnt want to get hurt. Now it turns out that he doesnt think he will get back with her.

 

 

I really trusted him, he gives me beautiful love songs that I thought were coming straight from his heart. We cam and have fun together and when it's good, it's awesome!! I thought this was the beginning of something special in real life. Turns out, he's just playing and doesnt mean any of it.

 

Yesterday I asked him if he wanted to meet anyone off the net, and he said "Not particulary, I'd rather meet people in normal life". He KNEW what I was getting at and now I am sooooo hurt. I also wondered if he would get back with his ex.

 

So my question is, do I tell him how I feel, that I am angry at him for leading me on or just fade away slowly and not show any concerns? I really want to tell him what he has done to me,he's made me cry and feel rejected and feel like a fool etc But should I let someone in on my hurt. He acts like this is nothing and talks like normal. I hate him for it!!

[DN]

"Meeting someone off the net" is an ambiguous question - his answer may not mean what you think.

 

I would ask him if he wants to meet you. Plain and simple without anger or recriminations. That way, you will know exactly what he means.

[Cadence308]

I agree with DN. Chatting and cybering with someone on the net for one year is a long time to not meet them. In my experiences, people that I emailed or chatted with on the net who were interested in something more with me wanted to meet me almost right away. I can understand why they would want to meet me right away (i.e., to make sure that I was who I said that I was and to see if they were attracted to me in person). The fact that you have been in contact with him for this long and he has not initiated a meeting really sounds like he's not interested. That's the thing about meeting someone off of the net...you never know how to take the other person and it's not a relationship. It becomes easier to hurt the other person or stand them up because the net depersonalizes things.

 

You should just come straight out and ask him if he wants to meet you...direct communcation. If he says no, then if it would make you feel better then tell him how you feel and how he hurt you.

 

I'm sorry this happened to you.