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Here is the situation, dating the girl for about 2 years and I never really lose my cool. However, I yelled at her when she was nagging me to death. I appologized at least 20 times. Everything was fine for about 5 days and then she breaks up with me and sends all my stuff back. Our relationship was very good up to this point but she said that I wasn't the one she was looking for. I couldn't believe she could cut me off at the drop of a dime. In addition, there is no other person involved here. She gave me a long hug goodbye and a kiss and I immediately started nc after she left. Haven't talked to her since. It has now been about a week. Will the nc work? She was pretty ticked off at me but my goodness for one little mistake it seems like it was a little overboard. I told her there wasn't really anything I could say that would change what I had done and she said I don't expect you to say anything and that was it.

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I'm sorry.

 

I think your yelling is not why she chose to end the relationship. It just gave her an easy way to do it. My instinct says she was building up a lot of doubts and thoughts about it beforehand.

 

I don't know if you have a chance. But - going NC is the way to go! Good for you.

 

You two developed a style of communicating where she was allowed to nag, and you kept quiet. This kept the peace, in a way, and was your way of solving disputes. When you yelled - you broke the 'rules'. You forced a change.

 

Give it some more time. Use it to focus on you, and maybe look at where the relationship wasn't so 'perfect'. None are. If you two do try again, it will have to be different. You'll have to find a new system of communicating.

 

just my thoughts. How are you doing, btw? Hanging in there?

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This may be more of a break than a breakup.

 

Sometimes its good to get things out like that as it can spur some productive much-needed communication. But you have to pay for the immediate consequences!

 

Take solice in know that she is probably missing you very much right now. NC for about a month (if she doesn't contact you), then call her one day and ask her light-heartedly out for lunch. But she'll probably call you first.

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Is my going nc in fact reinforcing my lack of communication when there is a problem?

 

When she told me she wanted to break up, I asked her if she thought that maybe we should just take a break from each other instead of breaking up. She said no, it is best that we are just friends. My things arrived at my house the next day. Does that sound like just a break and not a break up?

 

As for how I am doing with the nc...everything was ok until last night. About midnight, I wanted to call her very bad and try to resolve some issues. However, I didn't.

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