Am I being too hard?

[AndyPierre22]

My fiancee and I had to go meet this pastor for our compatibility test at 6 oclock. Out of the blue my mother called me today and said that she needed a ride back from the airport at 4 oclock because she just got back from california. And mind you I work at the airport,so this morning when I let my fiancee know she started complaining and acting like a young child throwing a fit.

 

She says that i put everyone ahead of her and she says i dont listen to her, and I dont care about us getting married and all of this stuff.

 

Well due to traffic and a ramp being closed due to an accident, I got home at 6:15 and she tells me the pastor wasnt even there. Anyway she is crying right now and she says she doesnt want to be with me because I only think about myself.

 

I think she is overreactting and making the situation more than it is so I am ignoring her. Do you guys think I am being to hard on her?

[highonyou]

It sounds like she is overreacting, maybe because of the upcoming wedding?

 

has she put alot of time into getting things sorted for the big day? it might be her way of asking for help with it all!

 

Why do you need to see a pastor about a compatability test? if you werent compatible you wouldnt be getting married, right?

[lisica]

From time to time I find myself acting upset and crying in an irrational way. Most often it is related to the time of the month but sometimes it is triggered by stress and being very tired. If your fiancee is anything like me, the best thing you can do right now is tell her that you understand, that it is ok for her to be upset, and that she can cry in your arms if she likes. To that you can add in a gentle tone that her behaviour towards you was not very respectful and understanding. You can tell her in a gentle way that you forgive her this time because you love her, but that she should not make a habit out of this because you expect her to treat you with respect and show her love.

 

Find out what is the real source of the problem for her, because this incident with the pastor seems to be just a drop causing the overflow of the bucket.

[heloladies21]

Dude, don't tolerate this kind of behavior. She's throwing a fit and this is unacceptable. It's not like you went over your friend's house to drink some beers, you had to pick up your mom. Throw it back in her face and tell her she's the selfish one only thinking of herself while if you listened to her, your mom would be stranded at the airport. How would she feel having that on her conscience?

[highonyou]

that is so true!

I bet she wouldnt leave her mum abandoned for a few hours! if you can, record the next hissy fit she has and play it back to her. she'll probably hear how ridiculous she is being.

[charley]

How long have you been engaged? It really takes about 3 years to know someone well. I've found this is even true for friends. It'd be best to know all her sides and facets of her personality before getting married.

 

It's ironic and a scary to have these troubles over a compatibility test. It would be humorous, if it wasn't so troubling.

 

A lengthy engagement would be a good idea. That way you can both get to know each other longer before getting married. Would postponing the wedding throw her into another hissy fit? I assume so. I think this may be the answer to your compatibility test. i.e. - this was a compatibility test and it didn't go well.

 

Of course, I reserve the right to be wrong about anything.

[vandgsmom]

A compatibility test??!?!

 

And what if her pastor said you weren't compatible?? Then what??

[renaissancewoman101]

I think in order for them to marry in the church, they have to go through marriage "preparation" counseling/classes with a priest/pastor and that also includes taking some compatibility tests. I think that is the case if a couple wants to get married in the Catholic Church (have to take marriage classes and attend some "counseling" sessions with the priest).

[babypink61]

I think your fiance overreacted too! I think she's the selfish one! But I don't think you should just ignore her! Talk to her and ask her why she would think that you don't care about her?

[Anna.]

It sounds as if she overreacted, but maybe this was something that was very very important to her. She still could try to be a little more understanding.