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lisica

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About lisica

  • Birthday 08/31/1976

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  1. Get as much distraction as you can. Don't sit home alone, but visit family, go out with friends and focus on your work and your hobbies. Allow yourself to feel miserable without him, but not the whole day long. For example, reserve half an hour in the evening for such feelings, and if they should arise at an earlier point in the day, remind yourself that it is not the proper time yet. (By the time it gets evening, you might feel better or busier doing other stuff, or you might hear him on the phone.) And most importantly: remember that your next meeting, whenever it will be, is getting closer as we speak.
  2. Try with the smallest kind of tampon - the one for the lighter days. I find plastic applicators a lot easier than cardboard. With plastic I never have problems anymore, except when right after a shower - then I have to tell myself to relax or it hurts when bringing it in. Do not give up too easily. The problems that women describe here seem to have more to do with still feeling the tampon once it is inside. Your problem is about getting it in in the first place. It took me several attempts on different occasions before I understood how to do it, but once you learn it, it should be easy. Be gentle with yourself and don't force anything.
  3. From time to time I find myself acting upset and crying in an irrational way. Most often it is related to the time of the month but sometimes it is triggered by stress and being very tired. If your fiancee is anything like me, the best thing you can do right now is tell her that you understand, that it is ok for her to be upset, and that she can cry in your arms if she likes. To that you can add in a gentle tone that her behaviour towards you was not very respectful and understanding. You can tell her in a gentle way that you forgive her this time because you love her, but that she should not make a habit out of this because you expect her to treat you with respect and show her love. Find out what is the real source of the problem for her, because this incident with the pastor seems to be just a drop causing the overflow of the bucket.
  4. If you are afraid of not being able to find the right words during phone sex (e.g. because you talk with your partner in english but this is not your native language) it might help to get some romance or erotic novels in english. Reading one before the next conversation with your partner will give you a head start, both where it comes to the right mood as to the right vocabulary
  5. Why are you asking? Are you concerned that your feelings or those of your significant other might be changing?
  6. I feel dirty when I get the impression that it is just about sex and the guy does not care about me. There is a lot on sex and kinkiness in your post, but little about tenderness. Maybe it could help if you fix a little bit in that department. Make it more about love making and less about having sex.
  7. Your brother moving in with his girlfriend, that is not some casual detail!!! I do not think that your girlfriend is paranoid or a control freak or has nothing better to do. I think that she is genuinely interested in what is going on in your life, your work, your family, your friends,... But you and her have totally different standards of what is important and what is a boring detail. And when you are not telling her about "stupid little details" like your brother moving in with his gf, she perceives it as if she is not important enough for you to even bother to tell her. I bet that when she asks you in the evening how your day was, you systematically answer with "ok, nothing special" and leave it at that So the best thing you can do is to meet each other half way. First make sure you understand each others perception of "important" and "detail". Next you can make a sincere effort of telling her some things that she might consider important, although for you it is a silly detail. In turn, she can make an effort not to bother you too much with detail questions and not getting upset so easily.
  8. Strictly speaking you are catholic if you are baptized so, regardless of whether you attend church a lot or not. I once heard about a funny comment from a priest when he was asked if he would perform a wedding ceremony for a catholic girl and a non catholic guy. The priest jokingly said: "Just said him over and we will throw some water over his head." ;-) Catholic churches are usually very open towards new members (where I live they have very good reasons for that as they get funding from the state based on the number of baptized people). It is quite normal that preparation for baptism and preparation for marriage comes with some counselling sessions, but this in itself might be an interesting experience too.
  9. Hi, Has it been like this since the beginning of your time apart, or did it gradually became harder and harder to get him to talk on the phone? Routine is a known relationship killer, and long distance relationships are not different from others in that respect. As hard as it is, it would be very wise for you not to initiate the contact with him in any way for a while. Don't e-mail him, don't call him. Give him some space to come to you. Many man still have a little bit of a hunter deep down inside. If you always keep calling him, you confirm that he wun you over, so he looses his interest and passion to get you, because he has you already. Play a little bit of a cat and mouse game with him to raise his interest. Make him come to you, asking if everything is ok and why you have not called. Meanwhile, do not sit around waiting for his call but enjoy your life. Focus on your study and your work - hey, if you work hard now, it means you will have more free time when you get to be with him in real life again!
  10. You might want to try and explain it again to him! You had a previous boyfriend, so maybe he assumes that you are experienced. But even with experience, different men like different things, so it is perfectly normal to ask him how he likes it best and guide you a bit. It might also help if you agree with him to make it about making him feel good (instead of rushing to some finish). You know, these things should not be about "efforts" but more about "playing around". Have fun!
  11. Oh danoooosh, Let me give you a big hug... I know exactly what this feels like! Last winter I had one of the worst weeks of my life when my long distance boyfriend's visa application was denied and we saw all our Christmas' plans crumbling to pieces... How long have you known already that your bf was denied the visa? Did you expect it? Do you know the reason? If there is one thing that I learned, it is that the outcome of visa procedures can be extremely absurd and quite random. This is not the kind of fate that you should let the future of your relationship depend upon!!! You do not say how old you are but you are wise in your decision not to get married mainly over visa issues. At least, I think that you are right, because to be honest, I sometimes I have doubts myself why we should not get married as it can make things so much easier visa wise. But on the other hand, you want to get to know a person well before marrying him, right, so you want to spend more time together first, but then again, this is exactly why you need the visa! Oh jeezes... it is such a vicious circle... My first advice for you is: do not give up hope about the visa. My boyfriend and I had our Christmas' miracle and it can always happen for you too. Figure out what went wrong with the first application and try to fix it, e.g. by asking for a visa for a shorter stay. Do not let the people at the embassy shake you off but keep calling them until you know exactly who refused the visa and why (in my case things took a turn when both my bf and I started calling the same places "independently"). My second advice: do not let the future of your relationship depend on the outcome of the visa procedure. You might just as well toss a coin or roll a dice to make the decision! Going through such struggles together can make a real bond between you. Although it sometimes seems like the worst situation ever, remind yourself that it is not, because you are both healthy and in love. In the end it is up to you two (but not to the visa bureau!) to decide whether or not you want to stay in this LDR.
  12. Why did you have unprotected sex with her several times? Did the thought not cross your mind that she might get pregnant?
  13. Hi, I can imagine that it must be hard for you not to be able to receive any news from your girlfriend for days in a row. From what you told us about her, she seems like a very nice and smart girl. I am sure that she will perceive your e-mail the way it was intended. Don't worry about it, and - for the love of God ;-) - do not go and ask her to reassure you that she was really ok with you sending such an e-mail, that she is not upset over it etc. The night when she offered you the option to break up for 6 months, I think she did it because she is a responsable and a caring person and she did not want to make you sit around waiting for her all that time, especially considering that you only met so recently. She probably felt that she did not have the right to claim you. So she gave you the freedom to break up if you wanted. It probably took her quite some courage to do that, because suppose that you would indeed have taken that way out...? She probably would have felt heart broken over it... But luckily you made the right decision and now you already have plans to visit her in India! This girl brings love and adventure to your life. From what I can see, she is the stronger person in the relationship. Let her be who she is and feel free to cry in her arms and to look for reassurance from time to time (like you did in your e-mail). But don't forget to also be the man that she can rely on!
  14. Hey, Don't worry so much. You are a woman so you are allowed to go through irrational mood swings. Almost every month, about a week before having my period, I can feel so devestated and angry for no good reason at all. I once read a story about a woman who got home from the shop and discovered that she accidently bought a squared notebook instead of the ruled notebook that she wanted. As silly as it seems, this made her cry her heart out... Maybe you are going through a similar mood, and if so, first have a good cry and then do something to spoil yourself extra. Another issue that might be playing here is that you have been looking forward to this time so much. Maybe the reality is a bit different from what you had in mind. But that does not mean that it is not going to be great! Take care of yourself. You are going to be fine.
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